Musings + Essays
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Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 245: The One on Becoming What You Think About.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Holiday Accoutrements.

This week was about panic ordering things I’d forgotten to order, including gift wrap (detailed all of that at the bottom of this post) and velvet bows (to tie napkins) for our Thanksgiving table — I ordered mine from this small Etsy vendor in a dusty salmon color but she appears to have sold out. These are similar, and I’ve heard Mrs. Alice has lightening fast shipping in case you’re in a similar boat. I also realized I didn’t have enough taper candles (!!) and ordered this set in the nick of time in the most gorgeous olive green, which is a near-perfect pair with our garland (just arrived and looks beautiful!). Looking ahead, I’m going to try to plan ahead for our Christmas table. You can get velvet bows in tons of colors at a great price (but takes 1-3 weeks to ship!) from this Etsy shop, so contemplating some green velvet ones for Christmas. I also am absolutely swooning over these tartan “tuxedo” napkin rings and wondering if I might be able to find them on sale somewhere during the Black Friday madness since they are rather pricey. A few other fantastic finds:

THIS TARTAN TABLECLOTH IS SUCH A GOOD DEAL

THESE RUFFLE TRIM PLATES WOULD BE SO PRETTY IN A MORE MUTED TAKE ON THE HOLIDAY PALETTE

I LOVE THIS JULIA AMORY PRINT

THESE GREEN PLACEMATS WOULD WORK FOR THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS

THESE SPIRAL TAPER CANDLES ARE SUCH A GOOD PRICE AND SO FUN IN THE METALLICS

I LOVE THESE RATTAN REINDEER!

You’re Soooo Popular: Dresses + Sweaters.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

the fashion magpie best sellers

CLAW CLIPS — OH YES DO YOU NEED THESE

THIS HOT PINK SWEATER (!!! OWN AND LOVE THIS — 30% OFF WITH CODE OHJOY)

BEST TOOTHBRUSHES

DISCOUNTED NAP DRESS!

THIS GORGEOUS BLOCKPRINT DRESS

THIS CHILDREN’S PUFFER

INITIAL MUGS — GREAT AS A WAY TO BUNDLE/PRESENT A HOLIDAY GIFT TO A TEACHER (IMAGINE GIFT CARD OR TEA TUCKED INSIDE)

THESE TALL BOOTS (ALSO ON SALE FOR 30% OFF WITH CODE OHJOY)

THE BEST KITCHEN SPONGES EVER — JUST TRUST ME

THIS STATEMENT ULLA TOP — ON SALE!

FAIR ISLE ONE-PIECE FOR A BABY

THIS CASHMERE TARTAN SCARF

THESE SHEARLING LUG SOLE BOOTS ($204!)

DREAMIEST FAIR ISLE CARDI

NOT SEEN ABOVE: DRAMATIC COLLAR BLOUSE ($25!) — LOVE IT IN THE GRAY FLORAL!!!

NOT SEEN ABOVE: $30 SHERPA COWLNECK

Weekend Musings: “You Become What You Think About.”

I recently witnessed an unpleasant exchange in which a public persona was being harshly and in my opinion gratuitously criticized by a commenter, and part of her response was: “You become what you think about.” I visited with my sister later that evening and, as we sat curled up under blankets, we unpacked the concept. We ended up taking it more in the direction of goal visualization than I believe the persona initially intended (I think she meant something along the lines of “you earn back the energy you put out there”), but it was enlightening nonetheless. My sister noted that she once took a journaling class and the facilitator prompted her to define her goals by writing out exactly what it would look like to have achieved them in the narrowest of senses, i.e., “what would a day in your life look like if you achieved x goal?” (And the goals could be anything — relationships, work, parenting, finances, fitness, health, etc.). I realized that I have always been disciplined about documenting goals and imagining the contours of meeting them, and that taking the time to articulate exactly what it is I have wanted has helped me — even subconsciously — manifest them, or work towards manifesting them. I have even written down the big, scary ones that almost feel laughable to put in writing. I’m talking about things like earning an executive job title, or purchasing a vacation home, or having five children (!!!) — not that those are mine in particular. In business school, they call these “BHAGs,” or “Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals.” (Really, it’s part of the MBA patois.) Don’t be afraid of the BHAG! Write one down somewhere private where only you can see it. I think you will be surprised to find yourself working towards that goal in the background, making micro-maneuvers that draw you closer. It’s along the same lines of those sport psychologies that encourage the athlete to “visualize the golf ball going in the hole” or “imagine the basketball going through the hoop.” If you build it, they will come…

I’ve been thinking on this a lot this past few days, about the way we give life to what we give energy to. It’s a useful mnemonic for digging myself out of moments of pettiness or frustration with others. Why would I dwell on those unpleasantries? It’s horrifying to repeat to myself “you become what you think about” when I am stewing on something not particularly gracious or interesting. That’s not where I want my arrow pointed. I’d much rather focus my mind and heart on things that fulfill me or that draw me forward, closer to where I want to end up.

What do you think of the quote? Does it resonate?

Post-Scripts.

+Urgent: Madewell is offering 30% off everything through 11/22! I shared my favorite finds from there here. They generously gifted me a few items, including this hot pink sweater and this adorable plaid dress and I’m loving them all!

+Also urgent: every year at this time, I feel compelled to remind you of the Krinner Tree Stand. I am convinced this contraption has saved countless marriages. It is hilarious how many of my friends agree that putting a tree in a tree stand is a continuous source of marital friction! This makes the process so much easier (Mr. Magpie can basically do it on his own), and the stand is far sturdier and better-designed (it has a huge tank for water!). It is so worth the investment!

+We are thinking of purchasing a fire pit for our home. How gorgeous is this one?

+I must buy my mom this croissant ornament. She loves a good croissant!

+This Gap puffer is perfection! The colors are so good! The olive green reminds me of this much-more-expensive style from SAM.

+Another fool-proof gift for a four or five year old: walkie talkies! My children love playing with these.

+Cute Stoney Clover-inspired pouch…fun gift for a little one/tween.

+These scooters are even better looking than the ubiquitous micros!

+A random but lovely indulgence — hang this on the inside handle of your closet, or on a hanger or knob in your closet! Your clothes will smell like heaven!

+Adore this ribbed knit set for a little love.

+For the Magpie who asked for an ACNE beanie hat lookalike without any wool: this $25 style!!! I think I need the hot pink because…j’adore.

+80s in the best way.

+Things I absolutely love and re-buy on a regular basis.

+I can’t speak to the quality, but these $15 velvet mary janes are very similar in style to the ones by Le Monde Beryle. This $129 pair is a perfect medium if you’re looking for something that is likely to be better quality but not too expensive.

+I want a sherpa vest and am torn between this one and this one.

+This red gown is just so deliciously dramatic. I feel like it’s calling for an oversized, glitzy cocktail ring.

+Oo this cape dress!!!!

+Love these wide-leg pants.

+Tiny chelsea-style rainboots for $20!

+Mango always has the best little tweed jackets.

+Chic signet ring.

+This sherpa shacket just arrived and is selling FAST.

+Have been obsessed with stocking up on taper candles lately…I love them in these mercury glass taper candle holders I have from PB.

+Cutest accessories for a dog owner: this waste bag holder, this leash, and this bowl.

+I also love these raised dog bowls!

+Speaking of Yamazaki, I still love these tosca bins and they’re currently (at time of writing this post) on sale for only $23!

+These stocking holders are attractive and low-profile.

+I feel like every dude loves shorts like these that work as swimming trunks, fitness shorts, or just loungewear.

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2 thoughts on “Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 245: The One on Becoming What You Think About.

  1. I think this is a great idea to ponder! It reminds me of thoughts become things, which is basically the message of The Law of Attraction, popularized by The Secret. There’s certainly some truth to “where your attention goes the energy flows” and all that jazz, and I also worry that messages like these can fail to acknowledge white privilege. Yes, removing mental blocks within us is important and part of maturing — but, for example, a Black man is not going to independently “manifest” a fair and just police force with his thoughts alone. And, in most industries, a woman is not going to “manifest” equal pay by the power of positive thinking. Or, even if she does on an individual level it will, in all likelihood, be a much more difficult manifestation journey for her than it would be for someone with more privilege and fewer “obstacles” to overcome.

    My point is we live within systems of oppression and it can be worth acknowledging their impacts on individuals; if we don’t acknowledge our privilege as white, cis people (I am a white cis woman), and claim “this thinking tool worked for me!” It might lead to other, more oppressed populations cultivating self-blame if it doesn’t work for them. When, really, the game is rigged.

    On a completely different note, that fire pit is lovely, but I was wondering, with your husband’s propensity for cooking, if something like the “solo stove” (and there’s another brand I can’t recall) might interest him. I believe one appeal of this style is you can cook over the open flame? There’s one Chef’s Table episode from ages ago (perhaps set in Argentina?) which made my husband really into the idea, though we have no yard (yet) so no fire pit, but I would love to hear future fire pit reviews if you do get one 🙂

    1. Hi Joyce – Thank you for the thoughtful note. I completely see where you are coming from with this feedback. Thank you for the nudge to think more critically about the prompts I share — will be reflecting on this.

      xxx

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