upper west side new york brownstone

Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 183: Collared Sweatshirts + The Impression of Time.

My Latest Snags: Le Collared Sweatshirt.

Fall is upon us. I mentioned this last week, but on recent fall item I ordered that has just now arrived is this $25 collared sweatshirt, which I intend to wear with white skinnies as we ease into cooler temperatures.

P.S. More exaggerated collars here and my favorite puff-sleeved sweatshirt from last season was restocked in all colors here.

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Cableknit Throw.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

+Gorgeous cableknit throw for your fall living room. Perfect for watching movies.

+The best detangler for little ones.

+Adorable fall jammies for a little boy. (Micro owns these.)

+Soft blockprint pajamas for us ladies.

+Everyone’s favorite luxe hand soap.

+A ribbed cashmere tee you need for fall.

+Perfect mirror for a nursery.

+Elegant washable silk pajamas.

+Really cute striped footies for a baby boy — set of two for only $15!

+My favorite $12 running tank.

Weekend Musings: The Impression of Time.

We have had a couple of major toddler meltdowns in these parts in the past few weeks — once on our way to the dentist and a couple of times during drop off and pick up at school. I’d been steeling myself for them. School is a lot for a three year old after six months at home with only us and a daily trip to Central Park. School presents new rules, new people, new routines, new sights, new commutes, new activities, new experiences, new face shields and the shocking newness of not being an arm’s reach from mom and dad at all times. Poor little thing. I waver between worry and the semi-hollow repetition of the same mantra parents are repeating to themselves daily across the globe in the face of this pandemic: “Children are resilient.”

Earlier this week, I had to take mini to a doctor’s appointment before school. I had a knot in my stomach the day beforehand, worried about a repeat of the dentist debacle and fretting over the careful timetable I’d charted for us that I knew would implode the intricate morning routine to which has she has grown accustomed. Instead of leaving at 8:20 a.m., we had to be out the door by 7 a.m.: somehow, we’d need to compress the usual ambling stretch of morning activities from two hours and twenty minutes (she routinely wakes at six) to one hour, and I’d need to get her to a doctor, and did I mention it was a torrential downpour outside that morning? — oh joy.

To my flabbergasted surprise, when I told her we were going to get dressed early and take a taxi cab to see the doctor — “just mommy and Emory” — she complied with a spring her in step. I was careful not to hurry her along, only offering an enticing: “It’s raining out, so we’ll need to jump in all the puddles” to expedite. When she tarried in her bedroom for a second, I reminded her of our matching rainboots and she grinned, running to the closet. “We’re going to the doctor!” she exclaimed to Mr. Magpie when he emerged from the kitchen moments later, “and we’re going to splash in all the puddles.” We exchanged suspicious looks over her head.

But the morning routine, despite its dramatic compression, went off without a hitch, and she more or less danced out the door. She was a dream in the taxi, haughtily informing the driver: “You’re going the wrong way!” which was in fact mind-bogglingly astute, as we usually take a left out of our building and we were gliding off to the right. In the cab, she asked about cockroaches (…) and where the sea lions at the Central Park Zoo sleep when it’s raining (?) and held my hand and told me, gleefully, as we drove down Fifth Ave: “I see New York!” She was easy as pie at the doctor’s office and thrilled with the tiny unicorn toy she was awarded upon departure. We had over an hour to kill before school and so I let her jump through every puddle on Fifth Avenue and then select whatever she wanted from the glass case of a bakery (the biggest chocolate croissant they had) and as I stood under an enormous umbrella close to Madison Square Park, the city anointed in rain around us, I watched my three-and-a-half-year-old joyously sprint through the onslaught, open and close her umbrella, hop from one circle to another, chase sparrows, and it dawned on me that the one thing I had given her this morning was the impression of free time.

It is so hard — so hard! — to maintain that aura of unhurried adventure when you are a working parent and you have fifty five things on your agenda and there are deadlines and appointments to keep and you know that if you are even five minutes late for your staggered drop-off window at school, you will need to wait an extra thirty minutes to get your daughter in. But that morning, I worked hard to extricate our movements from the logistical web of adulthood. I tried to erase it, or obscure it, under the guise of “special time with mommy” and much to my surprise, it worked.

I will need to remember this the next time I am straining my way through a heavily scheduled day with my girl in tow: it’s my job to wordlessly do the worrying and planning and her job to run through the puddles.

Post-Scripts: Liberty Florals for Fall.

+Sweet floral blouse for a little one (looks Liberty London-esque), and it coordinates with this plush rabbit.

+Speaking of Liberty London, in love with this Liberty print wrap bracelet.

+Sherpa pullover for cool morning exercise. (More fitness finds here.)

+Zimmermann is coming in hot with frilled and crocheted sweaters this fall — get the look for less with this Mango score or this similar-in-ethos Lost + Wander find.

+More on-trend fall sweaters here.

+Take it from someone who spent way too much time and money tracking down a Proper Peony birthday dress for mini’s third birthday: when you see it, buy it.

+Such a cool top with jeans.

+People absolutely love this rain jacket, currently on sale for 40% off. I do not need a new raincoat, but I have to say I am awfully tempted by this Stutterheim, which I’ve been eyeing forever (whenever my current rain coat dies, this will be my next), and it is currently 40% off in the sand color.

+With the cooler weather, I’ll be trading in my lightweight moisturizer for my favorite winter gel moisturizer from Korean skincare line Belif. It is so deeply hydrating. Love.

+Lots of denim-on-denim situations trending for fall — this top is perfection, and this dress would take fashion conviction but wowww. I’d keep the rest of the look super classic, i.e. pair with black suede pointed toe pumps and a black Chanel.

+Adore these pretty bow earrings.

+This sweet sweater is selling quickly. Love!

+More everyday toddler outfits here.

+The weight of words.

+What words do you hate?

8 Comments

  1. “it’s my job to wordlessly do the worrying and planning and her job to run through the puddles.” — oh wow, this took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this in any of the many comments you’ve left on my blog, but your maternal outlook reminds me of that of my own cherished, beloved mom and also provides me a lot of inspiration as I navigate step-parenthood. Just wanted to say thank you! xxx

    P.S. Great tip on the discounted Stutterheim jacket! I, too, am waiting for a less-than-beloved raincoat to die and am eyeing this brand! You’ll have to keep us posted if you get one.

  2. Oh I adore those words! It IS their job to simply walk through the puddles! Needed this reminder as I’m about to jump back in to a very different looking school routine for my 5 and 3 year olds with their baby brother in tow!

    1. Hang in there, mama! It will definitely be a transition, not only because of COVID, but because you now have a THIRD to wrangle/coordinate around. Thinking of you. xx

  3. My daughter who is 17 now, had 6 weeks of tantrums and terrible behaviors at 3.5. It was like a light flipped during Lent and by Easter it was smooth sailing. I recently thanked her for having her “acting out” period as a toddler and not as a teenager! “Special time with mommy” still works years later- you’ve got this!

    As a side note, I found the old books “Your Three Year Old” (and all the ages) by Louise Bates Ames very helpful. She makes the case for the half years being a time of disequilibrium and change and that was certainly the case for my daughter.

    1. This is absolutely fascinating; thank you for sharing that about the “half years.” I’ll be tucking that piece of information away any time my children lean into tantrum behaviors around the middle of the year. Thank you for this, and for the encouragement 🙂

  4. Such a good reminder to see things from the toddler point of view! The littlest things can make for a special day, often at little to no cost to us. But MAN it can be hard to go at their pace!! Sometimes I feel like I’ll spontaneously combust. But maybe with teeth-gritting practice it’ll get easier? It’s encouraging to have your positive experience as evidence 🙂

    1. Oh I so hear you, Stephanie. There have been countless times where mini doesn’t want to leave the park or doesn’t want to walk home from school and I just stand there and think “I am dying. I am dying! How will I ever get home?!” It is such a test of patience and will and I fail most of the time. But somehow God gave me a little extra bit of grace the other day and it really paid off. Maybe the key is just hoping for some of those good breakthrough moments and white knuckling through the rest — ha…!

      xx

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