My Latest Snag: Tory Burch Clara Flats.
I’ve eyed these gorgeous flats for over a year (seen above on Daily Cup of Couture in chic black), but when they came out in an elegant sand color and were MARKED DOWN (!!!), I had to take the plunge. I have way too many pairs of black flats; these are such a fantastic staple at the opposite end of the spectrum to pair with lighter colorways and — especially! — camels, beiges, and the like with winter white jeans. (How chic?! Exact outfit I’m wearing today: a heathered camel sweater, white distressed denim, and my new bow-toed beauties.
You’re Sooooo Popular: Les Tweed Flats.
The most popular items on Le Blog this week:
+This dress (I bought it in the shorter format) arrived this week and it is TO DIE FOR.
+High fashion look for under $160.
+Must-have toy for your kiddo. (The new troll?)
+My new favorite pantry organization tool. THIS REALLY WORKS.
+My new favorite addition to my beauty regimen. (If you have Rouge status at Sephora, these are 20% off this weekend!)
#Turbothot: Is This the Advice All Young Women Need to Hear?
I came across an article with an ultra-catchy title the other day: The One Piece of Advice Young Women Need. (Um, you had me at “the one piece.” CLICK. And I’m not even a young woman anymore.) But I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the piece, whose central thesis is that the most important factor in a woman’s longterm professional success is the supportiveness of her partner. The author contends that “women are better off staying single than marrying an unsupportive partner. It’s harsh, but in a country where the default assumption is that a man’s work should take priority over that of his female partner’s, women taking a hardline approach to who they marry is not such a terrible idea.”
Of course I agree with her premise on principle: we should all marry people who value our ambitions as much as they value their own. I probably suffer from (or, rather ENJOY) myopia in this regard, as I have only ever been married to an ultra-supportive husband who has long championed my career success better than I have. (“My wife writes an awesome blog,” he’ll beam as I squirm. Thank you for this.)
But there was something clinical and presumptuous about the author’s tone, as if it’s as easy as de-pilling a sweater on a Saturday to determine whether or not a boyfriend or girlfriend will be on board with an equal division of parenting responsibilities ten years down the road, when, in the present, babies aren’t even a twinkling in our eyes, and our judgements are clouded anyway by love and youth and the headiness of the promise of marriage. And how narrowly are we defining “success” here? What of women who, for example, want to pursue a career as a stay-at-home? Or who don’t see their careers as a calling? Or who work because they feel they should but not because they need to? I’m calling a spade a spade here: I have a number of friends who readily admit that their jobs pay the bills and give them a sense of structure, but they aren’t exactly passion-inducing or financially requisite for their lifestyles — and they certainly aren’t tethered to their identities on a deep level. I wrote loosely around this topic some time ago, but some of us view jobs as jobs, not vocations, as counter-cultural as this sounds nowadays. The article presumes consensus around a different outlook on personal success. And — well — perhaps this is a bit fraught, but sometimes relationships are about sacrifice, too. I have friends whose loved ones are doctors, and FBI agents, and members of the military, and there are certain logistical requirements for those jobs that can require a spouse to, say, move on a dime and relegate his or her career to “second in command.” None of these friends begrudge their spouses. In other words: there are many permutations of happiness and balance when it comes to decisions around career and marriage, even when “traditional” roles are being filled.
Take my family as an example. Mr. Magpie is a feminist in the sense that he views us on the same plane when it comes to professional capacity and worth. But we also hold conventional roles when it comes to parenthood, and not because Mr. Magpie assumes I’ll handle things like mini’s bath and mealtimes and gear purchasing, but rather because it’s the role I’ve carved for myself, and it’s felt natural to us, and it fits well with my pursuit of writing as a career. I remember clambering to give mini her baths after she was first born. I saw it as a rite of passage as a mother, as something I needed to figure out. And now, two years in, I am still the bath-giver in our home. I order the groceries to stock the pantry and plan mini’s meals. I keep tabs on the diaper supply. I select and wash and iron her clothing. Etc. Etc. The point is this: there is an unequal division of labor when it comes to caring for mini in our home, but it’s a known entity. We acknowledge it. I like it this way. And I don’t see it as in any way punitive.
But — why I am sitting here playing strawman, quibbling over something that I fully agree with? YES, every woman deserves a supportive spouse who is willing to view her career as commensurate with his own. Yes. Yes to that. Yes times 1290982309283. Amen and full-stop. I simply find myself thinking about the author’s hard-line statements in shades of gray, wondering if we are in fact doing young women a favor by painting relationships in this reductive way (i.e., implicitly pitting career against marriage/family).
Still, there is this: probably better to plant a seed that promotes personal-empowerment and self-worth than to say nothing at all. What harm can it do, except for imply that ferreting out The Right Partner is easy?
What do you think?
#Shopaholic: The Python Dress.
+We talked about how much we love all things python and croc earlier this week — how incredible is this (maternity-friendly!) trapeze dress? Would actually look incredible with the Clara flats in black!
+A fantastic plaid blouse for any occasion from work to drinks.
+I bought these in stark white last winter, but I’m loving them in this cream color, too.
+This little faux fur bag is amazing. Such a fun little pop of fur against an all black outfit.
+These fur and sherpa trim boots are AMAZING.
+Love these jammies for mini — the snowmen remind me of Olaf from Frozen.
+I routinely receive inquiries from brides-to-be asking for rehearsal dinner / bridal shower / bridal lunch options and I feel like this little white dress would flatter so many different body types and work well with a range of statement shoes, from pearl-encrusted mules to nude pumps to — yes, my new Clara flats in the beige.
+Love these Hermes-vibe pillows!
+These canvas-and-leather cosmetics bags are so chic.
+This dark floral dress is incredible.
+Ordering a few of these for mini.