open door to garden

Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 192: Sweatshirts, Valarie Kaur, and Self-Love.

My Latest Snag: Sweatshirts.

Ah! I’ve never been big into athleisure but I have to say I’ve been living in my expanding collection of sweatshirts this year. I have been loving this J. Crew sweatshirt in the camel over turtlenecks with light-wash denim, this lightweight hoodie for layering under coats, and this Isabel Marant in the ecru color with any wash denim.

P.S. More chic sweatshirts here.

P.P.S. For at-home, this $28 steal gets great reviews and works with modest pregnancy bump, I am told.

You’re Sooooo Popular: Joggers.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

+Dreamy joggers.

+Monogrammed playing cards.

+Waffle knit henley for your beau.

+The most gorgeous coat-dress.

+My favorite running jacket!

+Tartan topper for the holidays.

+Velvet tunic dress.

+Screen wipes!

+My holiday gift tags.

+These $10 Target slippers are an Internet sensation. (Also a good stocking stuffer/add-on gift for a teen?)

Weekend Musings: Valarie Kaur, Self-Love, and the Community.

Earlier this week, I stumbled across an excerpt by Valarie Kaur, an author, civil rights attorney, and filmmaker, that I’ve been sitting with since:

“Loving only ourselves is escapism; loving only our opponents is self-loathing; loving only others is ineffective. All three practices together make love revolutionary.”

Kaur is talking about big and sweeping things here that feel a little daunting on a Saturday morning, eliciting something of the backwards stagger I experience when thinking about outer space and some of the mysteries of the Catholic faith. (What does she mean by “loving only others is ineffective”? I strain at that notion, though I understand on a functional level that it would be impossible to entirely give to others without tending to oneself.) But I thought it was a stirring extension to or inversion of something a Magpie wrote in response to my ambling musings on the often co-opted concept of “self-care“: Joyce wrote, “It can feel like we are being told to ‘self care’ our way out of…injustices or simply areas of life where we need outside help. (Personal example: childcare.)”. Both Kaur and Joyce are grappling with the conditions of self-love within a community — but from opposite sides of the telescope.

Any thoughts, or do you need your coffee first? (Ha. Bringing down the hammer at 5 a.m. on a Saturday over here.)

Post-Scripts: The Wreath Serving Tray.

+This critter helmet for a little one!

+Uber-minimalist approach to holiday decorating. (Is it a tree or not…?)

+Such a pretty white midi dress — reminds me of LoveShackFancy, but costs $130.

+How to build a newborn layette.

+In love with all of these jeweled mules from Birdies!!! Quick, they are selling out!

+Ladylike athleisure if I’ve ever seen it.

+These might be the cutest roller skates I’ve ever seen. Is roller skating back? If so, this is a cute teen gift.

+Things that surprised me about having a c-section.

+I can’t stop thinking about this rib knit sweater dress in the oatmeal heather color. Chic chic chic chic. With my Paris Texas boots? Doneeee.

+Chic way to enjoy hot chocolate.

+For my Birk-loving ladies.

+Pondering setting up something for the holidays in my daughter’s room — what do we think? These bottle brush trees, these mini houses, or a little artificial tree.

+Do you have hobbies?

+These beaded burst earrings are incredible.

+I’ve had a lot of sweet emails and direct messages from readers telling me how much they appreciated my re-conceptualization of “chores” as part of the architecture of my day.

+Some of my favorite recent under-$100 finds.

+So many of the outfits here would make precious Christmas Day looks for your family.


  1. When I read Kaur’s quote I immediately thought of Jack Kornfield, “If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it is incomplete.” Then, I got to my far less elegant musing (haha) and it seemed contradictory. Though I’d never want to contradict Kornfield, I still agree with what I said. Maybe contradictions are okay. Maybe true self-love always leads to love of others and true love of others leads to self-love, and getting stuck on one of those roads is where people go astray. There are 1000 paths to God, as Rumi says…

    This reminds me that I need to re-read Thich Nhat Hanh’s “How to Love” – which I consider a great stocking stuffer 🙂

    1. Hi Joyce – Not contradictory, I don’t think. I think you were examining the concept of self within a community from the lens of “the community needs to help! self-love/self-care can’t answer all!” and Kornfield and Kaur are pulling at a similar thread — we need everyone pulling their weight.

      Thanks as always for chiming in!


  2. We know in scripture that Jesus said to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. I think when we are at peace with who we are, and the special plan and purpose God has for each of our lives, we are able to think of our selves less; it’s then we are able to truly love others and put them first. I definitely don’t do this perfectly! But I do think it’s all connected 🙂

    I also have been running outside while it’s not too cold (need to consider that running jacket you recommend!), and I’ve been doing so at a big parking lot. It’s somewhat awkward to run around a parking lot (lol) but guess who are the only other people there? Roller skaters! I think it’s a thing again? I don’t get it, but you might be spot-on with that recommendation, ha!

    And that sweater dress!! Swoon. xo

    1. Hi April – I so think you’re right that these different kinds of love hinge on one another, i.e., if we’re good to ourselves, we can be good to others. Thank you for chiming in.

      Who knew about roller skaters coming back?!


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