Tall trees stand immediately outside the windows of my writing studio, a green screen. I am benignly and un-specifically aware of them throughout the day — they present as ambient visual noise — but sometimes, I stop to observe them. They are, still, fresh respite from the concrete jungle of Manhattan, where I would crane my neck to make out an isolated tuft of foliage wedged between the two buildings immediately across the way from my writing desk. They are also a reminder of Things Bigger Than I, as they bend and move and rustle according to indiscernible, though melodic, patterns of their own. The other day I sat down at my desk and studied them for a minute. I realized they felt like an answer.
To what, I don’t know. To New York, yes, but only in the most obvious way. It feels more accurate to say they stand in response to the last many years of search and stress. I went on two long walks with my dog to think through this, to write my way into something solid. I returned with empty pockets.
But maybe that’s just it: answers are not always arithmetic. Sometimes they are unquantifiable, suggestive. Sometimes an answer is a head nod, a sigh, a shift in body weight. A half-rest in a measure of music. A paragraph break.
If you are looking for a sign that you have made the right decision, know that assurances do not always present in legible script. Sometimes an answer is realizing that, somewhere over the course of the past few weeks, you stopped feeling as though you might throw up with nerves while presenting to your colleagues at work. Sometimes an answer is the light left on for you by a significant other. Sometimes an answer is anticipating the sun on your face while walking the same circuit you walk every single day. Sometimes it is the sway of trees outside your window.
The questions that can govern our lives are easy-to-form. I am more interested in the things that feel like answers.
+Imprints of a new (suburban) lifestyle.
+On measuring our days in terms of presence rather than productivity.
+On re-setting after a long day.
+On remaining open to joy.
+Perfect white wear-with-everything spring top. Breastfeeding friendly!
+Cannot believe this lamp is under $200. Looks like a style MUCH more expensive and over twice the price from S&L.
+Adorable gift for a little lady.
+This popular gingham raincoat is 20% off with code SPREETIME.
+CANNOT stop thinking about this dress. It’s not really my usual color palette but OMG. So chic!
+This dress is just impossibly fun.
+This ikat shirt is so fun.
+Pastel to-go coffee cups for a little coffee-and-donuts gathering with friends/neighbors/parents at your school.
+This bow-shouldered spring top is darling.
+Overnight lip plumping mask…
+This cute sweater for a little boy is on sale. My top strategy for saving money on children’s clothing is to use end-of-season sales for the year ahead.
+Love pink and red together.
+A few readers have written in to say how much they love this raincoat, just reduced further to under $35.
+A fun stack of statement bangles.