The other day, I came across these lines in the devotional I am working my way through:
“Whether consciously or subconsciously, we are always sending out something–whether that be rays of kindness, ripples of impatience, or riptides of frustration. The way we carry ourselves, the nature of our responses to others, and the way we speak, think, and act are all emitting something.”
I found myself flipping back to that passage over the course of the days following. It struck a deep chord, and not even entirely in the intended Christian context. Mr. Magpie and I often interrupt ourselves while mid-conversation and say: “Little rabbits have big ears.” It’s shorthand for “let’s pause here and pick up later, when children are out of earshot.” Sometimes this might be because we’re puzzling over the behavior of people in our lives and don’t want to cast a long shadow, or because we’re commenting on how drop off/pick up went and don’t want her to feel criticized or “talked about,” or glibly visiting any manner of subjects we don’t necessarily want her repeating to her entire classroom the following morning. We are aware in those moments of the way we are modeling. And it’s not just what I say, or even how I say it. My children absorb everything. My body language, my pace, my mood, my level of distraction. There have been times in the last few years where I have been upset or sad or frustrated and my children have pressed their bodies against mine, laying their heads on my shoulder, and I know — with the pique of heartache — that they are reading my movements and attempting to console me. More recently, mid-move, I found myself keenly aware of the way in which my bristling nervous energy was rubbing off on my children (mini was waking early — 5 a.m.! — and mini-tantrums erupted frequently) and even our terrier, Tilly, who was nippy and agitated. Sometimes this is how it must be, or at least that’s what I told myself while beleaguered with logistics and stress. I cannot completely conceal my emotions. I cannot protect my children from everything I feel. I am not a robot! But after reflecting on those words from my devotional, it made me wonder: “What am I sending out on a normal day?” What picture do my children have of me? What picture do I want them to have? How can inch closer to the latter?
I want this to be a part of my new morning conversation with myself. And not just as a parent. As a semi-innocuous example, sometimes I find myself nearly pawing the ground with impatience when I am waiting in a long check-out line at the grocery store. What vibe am I sending out then? Not the version of myself to which I aspire, to be sure. How can I be more mindful of my posture, my body language, my openness to the beautiful happenstances that can transpire when interacting with other parents at drop-off, while passing neighbors on evening walks with Tilly, when stretching alongside other runners in Rock Creek Park? What energy am I putting out into the world? What do I want it to be?
+Praise for a “normal day.”
+More inspiration from this devotional here.
+And how prayer got me through catching COVID.
+Utility buys for home.
+Van Cleef-inspired earrings — the green ones are in my cart!
+Matouk bedding vibes for less!
+I keep coming back to these flats. I have several pairs of suede flats/mules already but these remind me so much of pairs from Mansur Gavriel and Manolo Blahnik and I adore that dusty rose hue…and they are currently 40% off…
+This curved-hem cashmere sweater looks like heaven, especially layered over thermal leggings and finished with those new, trendy low-rise Ugg boots (olive green is my favorite) I’ve been seeing all over the place. Uggs are back, baby!
+This is definitely one of those dresses you could wear all summer and then winterize by layering beneath a chunky blue cardigan and even over a white turtleneck, finishing it all of with navy velvet shoes and headband. (More styling along these lines here.)
+Speaking of blue velvet…I’m feeling this for micro’s holiday look.
+Also! This perfect ballet flat comes in three perfect-for-fall colors and is on sale for under $160.
+In case you are starting to panic about Halloween costumes, this shop ships really quickly and has the cutest, best-quality costumes for little ones. Micro is going as their owl this year! Pairing with orange tights 🙂
+I ended up ordering mini this Spider-Man costume. Would advise ordering ASAP so it arrives in time!
+Also! These shoes are PERFECT if you are looking for ruby slippers or glass slippers for your little one’s costume but don’t want to spend a fortune!
+Was totally caught off guard by how chic these vintage bells look as a low-key, not-over-the-top holiday decor choice. This is the kind of thing you could also track down on Etsy. Imagine finishing off with some lovely green or blue velvet ribbon for the season!
+100% something a chic French woman would wear with aplomb.
+Fun personalized notepads.
+The colors on these NBs are fab.
+YES to this leather padded headband. Very Ralph Lauren.
+Oo this croc card case!