Putting a belated pause on the blog today to turn toward fighting injustice.
I will never forget George Floyd calling for his mother, or the depth of hurt and anger on the faces and in the actions of so many in our country after centuries of discrimination and brutality.
This must change.
I must change.
I have received deserved criticism for posting my planned content this week. Thank you for helping me do better. I am working through how to engage meaningfully and authentically with this moment in my own life and here, on this blog.
I have removed this week’s posts in deference. I did not want to delete yesterday’s because of the comments left on it that have held me accountable for my missteps: removing the post felt like erasing those voices of dissent, and, from what I am learning in Leyla F. Saad’s book, deleting what I have written on a social media platform after the fact is a version of white fragility. So I have republished their feedback here:
I was also a little disappointed to read today’s post. I know that you write with great care and attention, and that takes time – it’s also why I love this blog and you’re writing so much! However, it just reeks of tone-deafness to me to post all about children’s toys and clothes. Nearly every other blog that I read refrained from a post full of affiliate links today as we as Americans are all forced to publicly reckon with 400.
years of oppression of the Black community.
You are a white woman from DC who waxes poetic about your time at UVA – I cannot imagine that you did not witness racism while you were there (I know that I witnessed it at my college in the Northeast that is similar in size, rigor, and student population to UVA). Surely that had an impact on you and the way you think and live your life now; your writing is too thoughtful and introspective for it to not have.
We white women have benefitted enormously from the racism of women who came before us, who fought for our rights at the expense of Black of women. Any white woman who has a platform right now should be using it to amplify Black voices and also to seek to change the hearts and minds of the mostly (i’m guessing) white women who read your blog and might be empathizing more with the police than with Black mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters whose generational hurt has been laid bare over this past week.
I would not put the time into writing out this comment if I didn’t genuinely love your writing; I just want to know that I can keep enjoying it in good conscience.
I was encouraged to see your post yesterday and was looking forward to seeing what you would share today. I’m a little disappointed! I don’t think anyone expected you to be able to comment expertly or inexpertly on the events of the past week but acknowledge and attention seems paramount. It seems like it would have been easy to include a few additional links in this post about how to engage with this moment. Just a line or two! Surely there is room for both? I know there has been a lot of empty “linking” but I think acknowledgment is still important.
I love your blog in large part of for your thoughtfulness, but I must say the posts over the past week have really confused me a little. I’ve been grappling with why there was space here for mastering the “art” of conversation yet there is too much discomfort to attempt to discuss the racial events of the past week? Why doesn’t the ‘art’ of conversation extend to these matters? This is a question I’m asking myself too- I recognize it makes me uncomfortable also! I think there is value in discussing this.
Anyway, I hope this will be a space that celebrates all the things it always has, because that’s why we come here! But also, I hope it will acknowledge the realities were are living through and challenge us to rise to a higher level of thoughtfulness and reflection when necessary. I think there is plenty of room of both and I hope you do too.