By: Jen Shoop

10 random picks for you aujourd’hui!  Nothing Halloween related.  Sorry…or not sorry?  Halloween is my least favorite holiday, although I have enjoyed experiencing it through mini’s eyes; she loves pointing at pumpkins on our strolls through the neighborhood (they are everywhere!) and this book has been a big hit in our house (<<actually a very sweet message).  For Halloween morning, I hung little paper bats on the walls and stuffed her monogrammed trick or treat bag with some Halloween treats, including a new book, a paint kit, and a little bat stuffie.

But, that’s where my Halloween tribute ends and my random roundup begins:

Pick No. 1: Croc Errything.

I am into all things textured this season, especially faux-croc.  (I mention a pair of epic croc-effect boots below as well!)  I love Cuyana’s new zip-top tote.  How chic?  Kind of Celine-esque in shape?  Also love this elegant little jewelry box in the same textured finish.

The Fashion Magpie Croc Tote

Pick No. 2: A Plaid Topcoat.

I’ve mentioned this many times lately, but I just can’t get over the classic-but-somehow-modern look of a plaid topcoat this season.  It feels incredibly fresh.

The Fashion Magpie Plaid Coat 2

I shared a couple of options for getting the look in a recent post (this is amazing and well-priced!), but I recently fell in love Sezane’s take on the style this season.  I love how it’s styled — with white skinnies (<<my favorites) and smart loafers (<<swooning over these; $130 but look like they could be much higher end!).

The Fashion Magpie Plaid Coat Sezane

Pick No. 3: The Feathered Mule.

Feathers are a major trend this season (ahem — this is one of the most popular items I’ve featured on my blog this year!) and I can’t stop ogling at these Tory Burch beauties (<<on sale!), seen below out in the wild.

The Fashion Magpie Tory Burch Heels

The Fashion Magpie Tory Burch Heels 2

Pick No. 4: The Leopard Midi.

Animal prints are HUGE this season.  I feel as though leopard is on a pendulum when it comes to trendiness — it’ll be super chic for a few seasons and then suddenly it feels fuddy-duddy, trying-too-hard.  And then a year later, BAM.  Trendy again.  (Note to self: hang on to all animal prints.)  I love the look of the skirt below.

The Fashion Magpie Leopard Skirt

I’d get the look with this Saloni (big surprise — that brand just slays me), this Alice + Olivia, or this black leopard Rixo.  I’m also not opposed to a leopard dress, like this short and sweet P.A.R.O.S.H. or this slinky Rixo.  And if you don’t want to be too on-the-nose about it, how epic is this?!

Pick No. 5: The Croc Bootie.

I kind of surprised myself with this one because I tend to favor boots that have a little more refinement (as in – — a slender heel, or a long shaft, a pointed toe, etc) to them, but I’m head over heels for Ganni’s Callie boot, seen below.  Luckily, I found this $149 lookalike pair from Zara.  I’m torn between them and this python pair for $129!  (Speaking of python and boots, I also ordered these.  Yikes, I have a problem.  About to be re-stocked!  Or try these higher quality ones.)

The Fashion Magpie Ganni Callie Boot

Pick No. 6: Teddy Jacket for Mini.

Yes, I love me a good teddy jacket (featured some amazing picks here), but how about for mini?  I stopped in my tracks when I came across this darling picture of Amanda Woodward Brown’s daughter on Instagram.  How precious?!  She’s wearing this coat by British label Outside the Lines.  I also like this cream colored one from H+M and this faux-shearling one from Zara.

The Fashion Magpie Teddy Coat for Kids The Fashion Magpie Teddy Coat for Kids 2

Pick No. 7: The Sequinned Dress.

I did a fairly extensive round-up of sequinned beauties yesterday after I was myself on the hunt, inspired by Giovanna Battaglia (at top of post and below).  I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of both this and this to compare.  I also considered: this $69 steal, this slinky P.A.R.O.S.H., this golden goddess bombshell Saloni, this cranberry stripe RIXO, and this Iorane (new-to-me label, but I saw Eva Chen in this dress and she ROCKED it; it didn’t look quite so boxy on her).   P.S. If sequins are too too for you — THIS!

The Fashion Magpie Sequin Dress

Pick No. 8: The Textured, Voluminous Statement Blouse.

I’d never heard of this brand, but I love the richly textured fabric and exaggerated shape of this blouse.  Would look fun with some splashy flats, like these.

The Fashion Magpie Textured Blouse 1

The Fashion Magpie Textured Blouse 2

The Fashion Magpie Textured Blouse 3

Pick No. 9: The Heart-Shaped Earrings.

Spotted these inexpensive Bauble Bar earrings on the stylish Arielle Charnas — so fun!  I would never have picked these out on my own but I like the way she’s pulled them off below.

The Fashion Magpie Bauble Bar Earrings

Pick No. 10: Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat.

I’ve written about this book before, but I have been loving this cookbook by Samin Nosrat.  She does such an exceptional job of explaining why you’re doing what you’re doing that I’ve become a better cook just by virtue of using her recipes.  I now actively think about where the heat is coming from in my oven and consider it when sliding my baking sheet into the oven, and why I salt the water when I do, and how much to season my meat.  It is an excellent primer.  And the recipes — while a touch involved — are foolproof thus far.  (Except for the Persian-ish rice recipe.  I wouldn’t add as much salt as she advises.  We ended up with inedibly salty rice!)  Nosrat also came out with a four episode series on Netflix that is worth a watch — again, I learned a lot listening to her and watching her emote around food.  (She also led me to add olive oil from liguria, a ginormous (and inexpensive) utility kitchen bowl, and these plain notepads for list-making and note-taking to my shopping cart.  There is something about her approach to cooking that is blissfully frill-free — all about doing things simply but well.  And these accoutrements would take me there.  (More great cookbooks here.)

P.S.  This is fun.  Anyone’s guess on the quality.  It’s hit or miss with that site.

P.P.S.  Are you reading this month’s book club book?  Quite a shift in terms of the writing style (and, yes, quality) but delightful and surprisingly textured.

P.P.P.S.  Update: I love this cotton.

By: Jen Shoop

I met my father-in-law (seen above with mini) the night I met Mr. Magpie, when he embarrassed my would-be beau by making kissy faces through the window that led out to the flagstone patio on which Mr. Magpie and I were awkwardly flirting with each other.

“Oh, that’s my Dad,” Mr. Magpie said, reddening, swatting away a mosquito by way of distraction.  When Mr. Magpie thought I wasn’t looking, he waved emphatically at his dad as if to say: “Get the hell out of here!”

A jester-like introduction if there ever was one for a man who would become one of the most important models of integrity I have come across in my life.  Now, my father-in-law is not a sentimental kind of guy; whenever I weepingly fawn over his generosities, he laughs and pats me on the back and says something like, “Come on, now.”  And he’d be put off by prolix praise, too.  But some things bear writing down, if not as a compliment enjoyed, then as a gift to my Magpie readers, who might see in his portrait something they cherish in those they love, or something to which we can all aspire.

I have learned so much from this man–not through what he says, exactly, but through the rich goodness of his example in interacting with others, and is there any better testament to character?  I think about when his mother was ailing and he drove out to the distant suburbs of D.C. night after night to spoon-feed her coffee ice cream, her favorite.  The care that he gave her, his thoughtfulness in the flavor selection, his steadfastness.  I was reminded of this the other week when he took minimagpie to an ice cream shop and crouched down next to her, spoon-feeding her melting pools of vanilla with sprinkles, wiping her face with wet napkins.  His solicitude, his patience: the echo of something I’d seen elsewhere.  He’s the kind of guy neighbors call upon for help patching their roofs, or support when putting their dogs to sleep (true story), or cooking assistance when steaming blue crabs (a specialty of the D.C. area).  He is reliable in every sense of the word: the sure thing.  If he says he will pick you up at 10 a.m., he will be there — probably 15 minutes early, actually, and usually wearing a sharp tweed blazer and corduroys.  He is the real article.

I think, too, of his deep and admirable comfort in his own skin, his genuineness, his pretense-less-ness.  I’ve never seen him fluster or find himself at a loss for words or fumble his way through an introduction, or a conversation, or a goodbye.  He is himself wherever he is: jocular, easy-going, down-to-earth, kind.  He is equally at home shooting the breeze with the foul-mouthed Clarence (local Washingtonians may know him as “the crab guy”) at Jessie Taylor’s Seafood on Maine Avenue in D.C. (I can just hear my father-in-law’s slightly devious cackle in response) as he is sipping champagne at the chi-chi 21 Club in Manhattan, which is where he took us for a pre-theater dinner a few months ago while visiting us by himself, just because he wanted to take in a game of the Nats playing the Mets with his own boy.  I wonder if he knows how often Mr. Magpie and I have found ourselves in slightly uncomfortable social or professional environments — say, alone at a business reception, or out of my element at a social gathering where I know only a handful of people — and reminded one another to “channel Doe.”  (We call him Doe.)  Because he’s the type of guy who will just post up comfortably at a high-top, or by the bar, or in a vacant chair, bemusedly watching the world walk by without the slightest sign of discomfort.  He’ll strike up conversation with the bartender, or the gal next to him, or the elderly gentleman in the sharp suit across the room.  That ease, that self-assurance!  Something rare and precious about it.

I thought of him in this regard just the other day when I attended an industry event solo, something I rarely do — but it was a brand I love (Everlane!).  As I rounded the corner to the cool Soho pop-up, I squared off my shoulders, took a deep breath, and thought of my father-in-law, who would have walked in there with twinkling eyes and an open mind, ready for conversation but comfortable in silence.

I tend to think of guardian angels as other-worldly: my deceased grandmother or the dear friend I lost to cancer when we were in our 20s.  I pray to them, invoke their names in search of comfort and encouragement.  But the other day I learned that I can also carry the spirit of those I love around with me, even when they are very much alive and just a phone call away, and I have been doing this for a long time: my mother when I am losing patience or am wondering whether I am doing the right thing or need to remind myself to afford people a little bit more grace, more space; my father when I am angling for level-headedness, fairness; my forbearing sister when I am attempting to silence my own complaints; my brother when I need to stick up for myself and make my voice heard; and, yes, my father-in-law when I am facing a nerve-wracking situation and need to remind myself to thine own self be true. And their presence, this chorus of living guardian angels, is a bolster, a nudge in the right direction, a calmant.

Who do you carry with you?

Post-Scripts: Friendsgiving Attire.

I wrote a recent post on what I might wear to Thanksgiving (scroll to post-script), but I hadn’t given any thought to adjacent festivities that might dial up or down the formal factor.  (Also, I am so sad, but the Gal Meets Glam dress I ordered for Thanksgiving did not fit at all and I had to return it!)  So I was back to square one when two different Friendsgiving invitations rolled into my inbox.  My favorite festive finds (will go the extra mile for me as holiday party dresses in just over a month!):

+This dark floral (or this one!) with my new bow-topped shoes (<<on sale!)!  I’m in love with this color!

+This shimmery emerald number.

+This flowy, velveteen, burgundy stunner.  So moody and unexpected!  Love.

+I ended up ordering two sequinned options because…wellll I’m in the #extraisbetter category.  I ordered this glimmering Saloni and this forest green one, too (#thatvee), and I am still wondering if I should order this RIXO as a third backup.  I’ll have to decide which is a more flattering fit once they arrive!  If I keep the silver, I’ll be wearing a pair of Sam Edelman velvet pumps I bought last year (<<same exact style as these, but mine are burgundy — love this mink color though; in my opinion, suede and velvet tend to look much higher quality than leather or faux leather for shoes under $200.  Related: these, with the poms, are AMAZING and on sale for under $80.)  With the green, I’ll probably wear a pair of black suede pumps that I’ve nearly worn into the ground.  (These in black suede look strikingly similar.)

+This sequinned skirt was also a consideration ($103 and MAJOR!) — maybe with just a simple white silk blouse button down?  Or, for the fashion fearless: these pants.  OMG.  Love.

+Also contemplated this boxy jeweled velvet top — maybe with leather skinnies or a high-waisted skirt?!

+For jewelry: what I really wanted for the holiday circuit was a pair of these drapey bow earrings from Oscar, but I felt like $480 was a little spend-y on a statement jewel.  I found these and snagged them immediately.  I also considered these and these — both under $50!  May still buy one or the other because they strike a different cord and are SO fun.  I also had to have these.  They’ll be great with basically any holiday get-up, including jeans and a tee: I mean how damn GOOD would they look with a gussied-up white tee (still ogling this with all the heart eyes), skinnies, and some statement heels?!

+For the less formal friendsgiving situation, I ordered this blouse, which I’ll pair with black jeans or black leather skinnies and some fun shoes — probably these — and a coordinating hot pink lip.  I also considered this with black jeans and booties, this more-casual dress with simple flats or booties (white booties would be so on point right now), and this underneath a plaid blazer (get the look for less with this or this).

+This snakeskin-print dress is SO good.  Looks like Givenchy or something?!  I would probably wear it with black tights and black pumps to tone it down a bit, but would also look really good with high suede boots.

+For outerwear: how great is this little fur shrug or the reasonably-priced faux fur from new-to-me line Apparis?  I love this boxy mauve pink style and this fun scarf (<<at $55, a decent pick for a gift for a fashion-forward friend!  Black is probably a safer pick but the pink is so joyful.)

P.S. Winter means dry skin, especially on my feet, and I am very curious about the promise of this little tool.  Will report back.

P.P.S.  This romper for a newborn baby boy on Christmas!  OMG so cute.  And sis can match!

P.P.P.S.  Boots for everyday wear, a remembrance of true love between a mother and a daughter, and more really good cocktail dresses.

By: Jen Shoop

I’ve been flattered to receive a string of similar emails lately from women expecting their first babies: “Any advice for a first-time mom?  How to prepare?”  I chewed on this question for some time before realizing that I was attempting to tackle two lines of inquiry in one fell swoop: the existential, identity-oriented one and the practical, what-to-have-on-hand one.  On the former: everyone experiences birth and matrescence differently, and — in my opinion — there is truly no way to prepare yourself, which I mean in the most reassuring of ways possible. I would simply say this: be kind to yourself.  Make space for whatever emotions you have.  It took me nearly a year to accommodate the reality of my birth experience.  Now that I have, I look back on it proudly, with a kind of smugness that I believe I have earned.  Try to enter into it with an open mind: you may experience a wild surge of motherliness, or feel a kind of ecstasy, or sob uncontrollably, or linger in the breakers of cool relief (as I did).  Whatever you feel, it is true and right and good.  But make space for yourself and whatever it is that motherhood brings to you.

The latter is a bit easier to write about: practical advice on preparing for a baby.  Below, my top tips for first-time moms:

  1. Pack your hospital bag early.  There is the pragmatic side to this tip: you may go into labor earlier than expected and you don’t want to end up, as a friend of mine did, attempting to orchestrate the packing of a bag through the emissary of your husband while you are in labor.  My friend laughingly said that her husband packed “a random assortment of household items,” including a fine-toothed comb she’d never seen before.  Ha!  But there is also a more philosophical side to this: for me, packing the bag helped me “own” the fact that I was going to go into the hospital and deliver a baby.  It helped me face and mentally prepare what was coming in a very specific way, as I was forced to imagine what it might be like to spend a few nights in a hospital.  What would I want?  What would I need from home?  It was a big first step towards mentally accommodating mini’s imminent birth.
  2. Pack a robe.  There are all kinds of guides to what to put in your hospital bag, and most of them are over-inflated.  Definite must-haves: shampoo/conditioner/soap (that first shower is heaven), phone charger and extension cord (sometimes the outlet is far from your bedside), and a robe.  I had a c-section and did not feel like messing with changing into pajamas (#noextramovementsplease), but I did have to walk the halls and attend a weird “dismissal class” where they covered the basics of infant-care.  I am so glad I packed a robe so my butt wasn’t hanging out for the whole world to see in my hospital robe.  I packed a pretty floral one, but if I were to do it again, I’d pack this supersoft one from Eberjey.
  3. Take a breastfeeding class.  I willfully avoided parenting classes of all sorts because they stressed me out.  I seriously regret not having taken a nursing class. I have mentioned this before, but I feel as though most moms fall into one of two categories: you need to read everything you possibly can in order to feel empowered as a new mom, or you prefer to rely on instinct and the advice of a select few to feel empowered as a new mom.  I am in the latter category.  Too much information gives me anxiety and I find myself overthinking and overanalyzing every little thing — it’s paralyzing for me!  Meanwhile, a mom friend of mine once said: “I need to read it all.  Information is power.”  You know yourself, and you know whether you will function better having read widely, or read little.  THAT SAID.  I do so strongly wish I’d taken a breastfeeding class prior to having mini.  I had no idea what I was doing, and there is so much going on in the aftermath of a birth that I almost felt as though I didn’t have the capacity to tackle yet another thing.  So I fumbled through things and I am confident I botched those first few days of nursing, which in turn led to a chronic undersupply, which in turn led to nearly eight months of exhausting feeding-and-supplementing-with-formula.  If I could do everything again, I would take the damn class.
  4. Pack a practical coming home outfit for yourself and your baby.  I just visited with a friend who had a baby last week, and we were laughing about her “first time mom” gaffe of not having packed an appropriate coming home outfit for her daughter: “We packed one of those nightgown things for her so we could easily access her diaper, but didn’t realize how badly we’d need pants when we’d put her in her carseat.  And we also forgot socks.  And the hat didn’t fit.  First time parents over here.”  I have another friend who packed a crisp cotton romper type outfit for her newborn son: “Oh man, he looked so uncomfortable and I wished I could only put him in soft cotton pajamas!”  My strongest recommendation is to pack a newborn-sized cotton sleeper from Kissy Kissy.  The softest cotton ever.  Depending on season, you should also pack a soft sweater coat (<<we had this classic for mini in pink) and a hat and booties for layering.  And for you: assume you will emerge looking six months pregnant.  Startling and possibly depressing — but true.  I wore maternity leggings (<<these are the best), a loose-fitting button-down (for ease of nursing and overall comfort), slip-on shoes (I wore my Gucci Princetowns, but I’m in love with these for a little flash of fashion), and a comfortable, plush sweater or coat.  Aim for comfort and ease of removal.
  5. Be prepared for early newborn feeding contingencies.  It’s true that Amazon makes those early days of parenthood so much easier; if you need anything, you’re basically a day away from receiving it.  That said, I would strongly encourage you to buy one canister of baby formula in advance just in case.  We did not care for the formula we had to give mini at the hospital; Hipp was far gentler on mini’s stomach and did not have that disgusting smell so many other formulas do.  (But do your own homework to find one you like/respect!  We loved Hipp and also loved the online boutique A New York Baby — she ships FAST and free.)  We also had two different kinds of bottles on hand, as babies can be picky about nipples.  We loved Philips Avent’s infant bottles (I like that you can swap out nipples to different “stages” or “speeds” as babies grow more adept.  I’ve heard some babies always prefer stage 1, but mini would get frustrated with how slow the milk was coming out, so we upgraded to 2, then 3, then 4, and all the nipples fit in the bottles).  Comotomo was good, too, but we found the caps were annoying and that they tended to leak.  But my point is this: have a canister of formula and a few kinds of bottles just in case.  If you don’t end up needing them, formula is always a welcome donation, especially at my favorite philanthropy in New York, the Good Plus Foundation, which provides diapers and baby gear to families in need.  I had the opportunity to visit their facility and it is INCREDIBLE.  I think they said 80 or 90% of all donations received are administered to families in need within A MONTH because they have a sophisticated “requesting” system so families can receive exactly what they need when they need it.
  6. Buy two sizes of baby diapers — N and 1.  Mini lasted in the newborn size (N) for maybe two weeks?  But some babies are BIG and are ready for the 1s right away.
  7. Set up more than one changing station in your home.  This was a revelation to me: I had assumed I’d always retreat to mini’s nursery for a diaper change.  But with mini in our bedroom for the first few months of her life and me recovering from a c-section that made navigating stairs less than optimal, I realized I wish I had multiple changing stations throughout the house.  I ended up setting up two additional changing “stations”: one at the foot of our bed and one in our living room area.  I had a micro Gathre mat at each one (<<I love these, as they fold up tiny and are easy to wipe clean; I would throw the one in our living room into my diaper bag every time I left the house), a weighted OXO wipes dispenser (<<trust me, you need this; otherwise, you pull out 290809 connected wipes while trying to hold a baby in place and keep poop off your hand), hand sanitizer, and a stash of diapers and diaper cream (for a long time I liked Aquaphor, but I now believe that Weleda’s Calendula Cream is THE BEST OF THE BEST.  I lot of moms swear by Boudreaux’s Butt Paste — the name! — but I found it annoying to apply).  I kept all the changing gear in monogrammed LL Bean bags that could easily be whisked into a closet when company was present and repurposed for future use.  I’ve also seen these nifty diaper caddies which smartly keep diapers, etc, organized.
  8. Have more than one place to “put the baby.”  I was just chatting about this with a dear friend who is expecting her first about this: I never put any thought into what I would do all day with a new baby.  I suppose I vaguely assumed I’d be holding her most of the time and then put her in her bassinet when she was asleep?  But the truth is — for me — I spent a lot of time posted up in our living room, with the bassinet a floor above and my arms exhausted.  I realized I needed somewhere to put her in basically every room, so we ended up distributing our “baby holders” throughout the house.  We had her 4Moms Rockaroo in the kitchen and her Boppy in the living room (slash wherever I was in the house — I love how lightweight and easy to move this is).  We also occasionally put her down in the bassinet attachment to her Bugaboo stroller when we were in the front entertaining area.  I wanted to buy a Rock N Play (<<people lose their minds over this) for our basement, but Mr. Magpie insisted we could do without it.  He was right, I’m sure, but let my line of thinking show you that it’s always nice to have extra spots to deposit the baby!  I remember thinking before mini came: “Why do you need so many contraptions for one baby?”  Trust me on this: it’s a blessing to relieve your arms.
  9. Stock the fridge with easy-to-throw-together food, and stow snacks in your bedside table.  Some friends of mine smartly prepared a ton of meals in advance of the birth of their son and then put them all in the freezer so they’d have dinner prepared for the first few weeks.  We did something similar and then relied on the generosity of friends who brought by meals for us to enjoy.  I would also stow crackers and especially oat bars (good for milk production) in your bedside table.  I was ravenous while breastfeeding mini and often ate these at like 3 a.m.  Mr. Magpie would sometimes wake up and eat one with me — ha!  I loved those Quaker Soft Oat bars that come in brown sugar or peanut butter.  PERFECT.
  10. If you’re having a c-section, I already shared some of my top tips for c-section recovery but be sure to have a stepstool by your bedside!  (For the design-centric, how chic are these stepstools?!)
  11. Take everything they give you from the hospital.  They give you a lot of “free” stuff (“free” in quotes because you’re ultimately paying for it; even with insurance, it’s expensive to have a baby!  I think we had to pay nearly $10,000 out of pocket).  Take everything.  The diapers (we left with like a box of diapers!), the swaddles, ESPECIALLY the disposable underwear, the pads, the formula and bottles, the lanolin, etc, etc.  Take it ALL.
  12. If you’re inclined, write a special little note to your loved one.  I wrapped a silly little “daddy and me” book and penned a sweet note for Mr. Magpie to open after mini was born.  Meanwhile, Mr. Magpie wrote me the most beautiful letter I have ever received in my life and I was way too emotional to handle it in those first few days.  I read the first paragraph, bawled, and then took a break.  Read the second paragraph the second day, etc.  But the point is this: anything you can do in advance, you should!  Sappy love notes included 🙂

Moms: what else would you add to this list of practical tips?  All advice welcome except for “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”  HA!

P.S.  A dreamy nursery.

P.P.S.  A well-vetted registry checklist.  Though — don’t fret if you don’t have it all by the time baby arrives!  That’s what Prime is for.  You can ease into things 🙂

P.P.P.S.  Gifts fit for a royal baby.

 

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Christmas Gear.

Inspired by a reader’s request for thoughts on holiday decor and traditions as a newlywed, I couldn’t help but snag a couple of Christmas finds this week, including this tree skirt, which coordinates with our stockings.  I actually ordered this exact tree skirt last holiday season and it was mistakenly delivered to my old address back in Chicago where it was apparently left and never discovered again.  By the time we were through the rigmarole of tracking the package, they had sold out of this style!  So, I ordered it early this year and earned 25% off with a promo code.  I also ordered mini some Christmas jammies and currently have about twenty browser windows open to various options for Advent calendars after so many of you mentioned how central this tradition was to your youths.  I realized I’d better get chopping on making it a part of mini’s!  I’m considering this, this, and this.  I also like this but am concerned about sacrificing our limited shelf/tabletop/counter space.

P.S.  I promise I won’t be featuring too much holiday stuff — I realize we’re still about 3498 days away — but OMG this set of ornaments!!!!  And there are tons of hilarious kitschy ornament finds here.

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Animal Print Dress.

The most popular items on Le Blog this week:

+This chic RIXO London dress.  Animal prints are very in right now; I love the demure yet versatile length of this dress!

+More feline print goodness.

+Chic thank you notes.

+One of my favorite snags this season.

+A super-Scandi, super-chic boot.

+This dress is everything.

+A more affordable but just-as-chic alternative to GGs.

+Kids’ gift of the season apparently.

+The cutest ornament.

#Turbothot: The Secret to a Well-Written Thank You Note.

I wrote a week or two ago about sending out-of-the-blue “love notes” to a friend without any agenda — just to remind her of why you love her because sometimes — often-times — we learn more about ourselves through the reactions and commentaries of others.  A few of you responded by pointing me in the direction of Cup of Jo’s recent post on the power of writing thank you notes.  I loved the sentiment and especially the observation: “A perfect thank-you note is not very long, but it’s earnest, specific, and from the heart.”

I will humbly admit that I have cultivated a kind of celebrity among my friends and family for my talent in thank-you-note-writing.  In my opinion, as corroborated by the writer above, the key to a well-written thank you note is specificity.  I find the same holds true in all kinds writing, come to think of it: the more narrow the detail, the more saturated the color, the better.  This is something I learned by observing the spectacular writing of some of my favorite authors, most notably Molly Wizenberg, whose knack for the particular and richly resonant is second to none.  And so, when I write a thank you note, I try to explain in detail why and how I will use or appreciate the gesture of kindness that has been extended to me.  It’s not just — “I love my new desk calendar.  Thank you.”  It’s — “I have placed my new desk calendar to the left of my computer screen and I look at it every single day while I’m blogging.  I think of you often because of it — and am also far more facile in booking appointments and agreeing to commitments with the days of the month staring me in the face.”  The detail can be anything: “I love that rich cerulean blue!  It matches my favorite scarf!” or “The candle reminds me of a trip I took to…”  But showing someone in specific detail why you appreciate something they have given to you demonstrates you have sat down and truly appreciated it, incorporated it into your life.

Incidentally, I learned this from my all-knowing mother, whose thank you notes always include an unexpectedly intimate detail: “I was just sitting on the ivory settee in my office admiring that print you sent me.  It made my afternoon.”  (She is also masterful at not only thanking you once for something — but, out of the blue, midway through the year, dropping a text: “You know that eye shadow you gave me last year?  I’m wearing it today and I’m so grateful to you for it.” #NEXTLEVEL.)

What are your tips for writing thank you notes?

P.S.  In the snap above, the stationery is from here and the pens are these, of course.  My favorite writing implement of all time.

#Shopaholic: The Black Boot.

+If you are still in the heyday of wearing high heels (I’ve sadly converted into a more practical everyday boot gal, aka minimal height), I cannot believe these boots are $200.  They look like they could be Gianvito Rossi!

+Building on the nubby/teddy/high-pile outwear trend I touched on a bit yesterday, this $80 steal is a seriously good fine.

+Into the shape, length, color, and texture of this coat.  I like it with these boots.

+This dress is stunning for a winter black tie event.

+Lusting after this interior design book.

+Love this gussied-up white tee.

+PSA: That feathered dress so many of you loved is now on sale!  Also in the sale section: these over-the-top TBs, which I’ve been eyeing for some time, my favorite sneaks in a fun color, and a major Jackie O. moment waiting to happen.

+This fleece comes in the best colors.

+Love the sorbet pink colors.

+Into the varsity vibes on this statement sweater.

P.S.  If you are a VIB Rouge, you can score 20% off any purchase right now.  A great time to stock up on things like perfume (!!!), which never goes on sale.  I love this scent.  Also maybe an opportune moment to try some of the beauty finds I’ve been raving about or my all-time favorite beauty products.

P.P.S.  Are you a private person?

P.P.P.S.  Not so fun, but mildly amusing, to revisit my dirge of the dishwasher.

By: Jen Shoop

A couple of standout street style looks I’ve been ogling over lately.  First, a string of looks from the darling Nasiba Adilova, founder of the incredible children’s gear retailer The Tot (I have ordered so many darling items from them over time for mini, including, most recently, these!).  Her style is so unexpected — somehow both “downtown” with her funky accents and oversized cuts and “uptown” with her monochromatic color palettes and statement jewelry.

The Fashion Magpie Nasiba Adilova 1

The Fashion Magpie Nasiba Adilova 3

Get her look with these picks:

+Everlane ReNew Fleece Sweatshirt — I own this in the oat color (thank you Everlane) and have been wearing it since I received it.  It’s made from recycled plastic water bottles (!) and I love the boxy, cropped fit.  Super chic with jeans and GGs or, ya know, high-end denim and a trench as per Nasiba.  This find is easily going to make its way under the tree for a sibling or friend this holiday!

+Loewe leather bag.

+Nasiba’s shearling slides are from The Row; I’ll be channeling the look for less in these incredible mules (under $200!)  If you MUST have a slide/sandal style a la Nasiba, check out this Madewell find on sale for under $70!

+White jeans — Khaite is THE name in “It” denim right now, and this cut and wash are so 2018.  This reminds me that I’ve heard good things about this pair of jeans from Everlane, which strikes a similar tone.

+Zara snakeskin boots.

+Long wool coat (on sale for under $200).  I love the length of this coat — it feels high fashion to me, a la Nasiba.

+Chunky gold necklace from Monica Vinader.  Love the proportions of these pendant alphabet letters.  Would be fun to do a few on a single chain!

I have also been marveling over model Loulou DeSaison and glowingly pregnant Scandinavian beauty Pernille Teisbaek.  Both are wearing coats from Scandinavian line Samsoe Samsoe (Pernille’s is here and Loulou’s is here).  I love the way they both styled their coats with mid-calf booties.  So bold — such an unexpected line!  Pernille’s are these Balenciaga beauties, and Loulou’s are Celine.

The Fashion Magpie Loulou de Saison The Fashion Magpie Pernille Teisbaek

If you’re in the market for a similar jacket, don’t fret: there are lots of street-style-chic coats in slightly boxier fits a la Pernille and Loulou on offer: I love this Gap steal, this J. Crew beauty, and either this or this from Avec Les Filles.  If you’re in the mood for a blazer, check out this stylish Anine Bing, which I’d like to layer over this sexy camisole.

Finally, check out Pernille in her luscious Prada shearling coat.  Can you even?!  As you can tell with my Nasiba-inspired picks above, I am all aboard the nubby/shearling/teddy train.  You can get the Pernille-in-plush-Prada look for less with this, this, or this.  If you’re looking to splurge, I LOVE this with its dramatic pockets!  And if you’re looking for a different shape, I love this bomber cut.

The Fashion Magpie Pernille Teisbaek 2

Also, she’s sporting a covetable Mansur Gavriel top-handle bag (#swoon).  Get the look for less with this Neely & Chloe style.

P.S.  Are you a crier?

P.P.S.  What are you rebelling against?

P.P.P.S.  The ultimate fall wardrobe guide.

P.P.P.P.S.  For the mamas out there — stocked up on a bunch of Crayola goodies at Zulily, including this huge set of crayons.  Mini seems to break and dullen hers very easily.  I feel like I’m constantly buying new packs!

By: Jen Shoop

I had the sweetest note from a reader a couple of weeks ago and am ashamed to admit I am just getting around to answering it now — maybe it took me until I found myself listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas album yesterday owing to the dip in temperature to really get in the holiday mood? — but here goes:

I have a post request for you regarding holiday decor. I know it is an early request, but Home Depot and Costco both had faux Christmas trees out today! 

My husband and I have been married for three years and recently bought a condo in Alexandria. Now that we are homeowners, I feel drawn to the idea of decorating for the holidays and creating traditions. In previous years, we have not done much in our home, relying on my parents for Christmas cheer when we went back to their house to celebrate. I’d like to change that! 

My request is three parts, but I would be delighted if you answered any part of it for a post. 

1. Beyond a tree + ornaments, what holiday decor are you drawn to? (Our dog is allergic to pine and I don’t want to store a faux tree quite yet). Is there anything that has caught your eye in recent years? Certain looks you love?
2. What traditions do you and your husband have around the holidays? 
3. Are there any traditions in your family that you are particularly sentimental about? Any decor items that hold a lot of meaning to you? I love the way your write about your family. 

Thank you! 

I love this note and how eager you are to start family traditions.  I’m sharing scattershot observations and thoughts on holiday decorating for those of us in our 20s and 30s in a similar headspace:

+My top piece of advice is to buy a little bit each year.  That’s been our philosophy when it comes to decorating more generally, and I think it’s paid off.  Of course there are times where you-just-need-to-buy-a-bedroom-set-and-matching-rug-and-art-work-all-at-once-to-feel-like-a-human, but to the extent possible, we have had far better luck when we have taken our time in outfitting our homes, buying one-off pieces of art and furniture as they catch our eye.  I feel the same way about Christmas gear: buy it in phases, as things appeal to you.  For example, I give Mr. Magpie a new ornament each year in his stocking, and I usually try to pick something reflective of the year — last year’s was this taxi cab ornament, a small and slight garish homage to our move to the Big Apple.

+For more sources for specialty ornaments: Etsy is a treasure trove.  These hand-beaded ones are precious.  My mother-in-law collects beautiful blown glass “Inge-Glas” ornaments from Germany and you can track down some true beauties on Etsy if you are patient, like this elegant set.  And if you’re a dog lover, specialty ornaments abound!  I’m buying this one this year, but I also like this.  Probably my most cherished ornament is a Jonathan Adler ceramic piece Mr. Magpie gave me.  Keep your eyes peeled for the novelties brands have on offer around the holidays…

+Speaking of ornaments, while adding a few special newbies a year has been our M.O. thus far, we also supplement our specialty ornaments with a couple of inexpensive “filler” sets we bought from Target and Martha Stewart from Home Depot the first few years we were married because we realized our tree would look insanely sparse without them.  I don’t like the designs on offer by Martha this year, but you can find sets on eBay that might be worth considering.  And everyone needs a set of cheerful red cardinals perched on her branches!  Generally, though, I like the look of oversized ball ornaments as the “filler” pieces.  We got ours principally in shades of metallic red, silver, and gold and have more or less stuck with those colors over time, but I’ve also seen really pretty trees done up almost entirely in shades of white and silver (these are elegant) to grand effect.

+All of this ornament advice of course depends on whether you like a themed/monochromatic look or not.  We generally stick to a few colors but don’t mind the mish-mash.  That said, we are adamant about white tree lights — I know there are others who are diehard color strand people, but not us!  If you’re into a more streamlined look, your job is easier since you can limit your ornament hunting to a specific shape or color.  I love the idea of a tree with ONLY bird ornaments, for example, or ONLY bows, or ONLY white/silver balls, or ONLY angels, or ONLY bells.  Could be interesting to consider if you’re a minimalista.

+Consider buying stockings from a retailer that is likely to carry the same style for some time in case you have any future, ahem, additions.  Ours are these channel velvet ones in ivory from Pottery Barn, and they’ve carried them for a long, long time, which has enabled us to add one for Tilly and one for mini over the years without a mismatched look.  Alternately, commit to a mismatch-y but coordinated style, i.e., buy a few fair isle ones in different prints because it’s likely you’ll be able to find some variation on a fair-isle stocking even if it’s not from the same retailer.  The same goes for stocking holders!  I wish I’d had the foresight on this one; I only bought two of these darling reindeer stocking holders and now can’t find anything similar, so might need to buy a whole new set.  I love these and these (in the antique white!) — but buy them in multiples just so you’re prepared!  You never know; you may have family living with you or more kids or dogs than you anticipate!

+Don’t worry if you’re not ready for a tree (faux or real).  There are lots of ways to spruce up your home (hehe, puns).  If you have a mantle or staircase with a railing, garlands are perfect.  I love this preserved cyprus one, but you could go even more abstract with something like this, especially if you incorporate white “trees” and decor elsewhere, like these.  I bought two mini tabletop “trees” covered in moss two years ago and I adore them as the centerpiece to our holiday dining table.  Other options: garlands or mini trees made of boxwood, cyprus, eucalyptus, or — especially trendy recently — bottle brush trees like this set or these.  (If you like the look, scour Etsy — they have lots of great finds, like these or these, which could be converted into ornaments for cheap!)

+If you are considering faux, all I can say is I would love to one day own a flocked tree.  I just love the look — they can look so grand and dramatic!  In love.

+Something I have ALWAYS wanted: candles in each window of our home.  My mother-in-law does this and her house just feels like it’s glowing from the inside out all holiday season.  I had a really tough time finding a good set for our home in Chicago; the set I wound up with were super light and wouldn’t stay put in the window!  The cord was too heavy to keep them upright!  I’d consider these or look in a specialty gift shop in your hometown.

+My mom has a stunning nativity set from Lladro and it’s just not Christmas until she puts it out.  It’s gorgeous.  She always retained Jesus until Christmas morning, when one of us would have the honor of stowing him in his creche.  I would love to one day own something similar, but in the meantime, am considering buying a peg doll nativity set that is more appropriate to my daughter’s age.

+My mom also has a beautiful Christmas china set adorned with nutcrackers, complete with glasses and table linens and oversized tabletop nutcrackers.  I am in love with it.   Am considering adding a nutcracker to my home this year, or maybe making Swedish dala horses my thing instead.  (Etsy has gorgeous vintage ones!)

+In terms of traditions, one of my absolute favorites was opening a flap of the advent calendar each day of Advent.  I loved the sense of anticipation, the crossing off of days.  My mom always purchased cardboard ones from Hallmark, but Mr. Magpie had a big wooden one and his mother would place a toy in each cubby hole every single day of Advent.  Sometimes it was something small — a hershey kiss or a dollar store toy — but sometimes he’d find a scroll with instructions on where to track down something bigger.  EPIC!  Living in New York, a huge wooden Advent calendar is unlikely, but I did come across this darling fabric style, which could be folded up…pretty cute!

+Mr. Magpie and I usually celebrate our own little Christmas a few days before or after the actual day.  Mr. Magpie goes crazy making something like duck a l’orange or osso bucco, we buy an extravagantly nice bottle of champagne, and we watch “A Christmas Story” (Mr. Magpie’s favorite).  It’s simple but splurge-y and it doesn’t feel like Christmas until we’ve enjoyed our quiet little Christmas for two.

+We are also SERIOUS about stockings in our family.  Sometimes half of our Christmas load is in them!  My mom always gifts us incredible cosmetics, gadgets (like my sweater defuzzer, which has saved my life many times), gift cards, Hanky Panky (such an extravagance because those things are EXPENSIVE), and kitchen tools.  Mr. Magpie will occasionally tuck my main present into my stocking, too, which is fun.  Who doesn’t love expecting candy canes and finding Tiffany instead?!

+If you take nothing else away from this meandering post on all things holiday, please do take this: buy this tree stand.  Without this stand, the likelihood that Mr. Magpie and I would get into a snippy tiff while installing our tree was close to 100% each year.  (“Wait, it’s a little to the left –” “Move that damn netting out of the way!”  “Lift lift lift –” “No turn!”)  This is legitimately 239089808 times better than the dinky metal ones we all seem to own with those damned screws you churn into your tree trunk.  This is an elegant, easy to use solution and I guarantee it will pre-empt a squabble around the holidays.  You’re welcome.

+If we had more space, I would die for a few of these to prevent the inevitable shattery, tangled shamble I face every year in a smashed cardboard box.

P.S.  My musings on last Christmas day.

P.P.S.  Some good ideas for gifts if you’re already in the buying mood.

By: Jen Shoop

I have gained a lot of new readers in the last few weeks (thanks, Inslee and Mackenzie!) and, though the new search function in the upper right hand corner of the blog may be useful in getting to know me and my varied and meandering musings, I thought I’d curtsy into our newfound relationship (welcome!) with a kind of “greatest hits” post:

+On self-confidence and the dreaded imposter syndrome: Nobody and Somebody.

+On grief and the loss of a high school friend: Ladybird, Loss, and the Visitation.

+On accountability and the power of language: The Weight of Words.

+On motherhood (a very candid look): The Elegant but Lopsided Dance of Motherhood.

+On space, identity, and memory — all through the lens of my beloved hometown: D.C. and the Parochial Wild.

+On the transformative power of reading: Reading, Elasticity, and the Greater Than / Less Than Equation.

+On growing comfortable with the uncertainties of life in my 30s: Turning 34: I Don’t Know, and That’s OK.

+On coming to terms with the reality of death: The Sense of an Ending.

+On balancing intellectual curiosity with the tug of the real world: Between Two Extremes: Lessons from Brooks Hall and Beyond.

+On the tremendous gift of being the daughter to my parents: Lucky to Be Children.

+On the prodigious gift of being the sister to my siblings: Siblinghood Does That to You.

+On becoming a mother and its impact on my identity and my relationship with my husband: Remaining Interesting.

+When you need a really good cry.

These are my favorite posts I’ve ever written and I have read through each and every email and comment on them dozens of times.  (At one point, I even shared my favorite Magpie comments of all time.  Thank you for your graciousness, your gentleness, your intelligence in setting me straight or building me up or cautioning me or seconding me.  And also — for just listening.  The most underrated of all talents.)

And if you want to know my absolute favorite things ever, check out my best of everything series.

Post Scripts.

+The most popular items I’ve featured on my blog this month: this fabulous cocktail dress and these dreamy joggers.  Could I love you any more, my readers?!   Gals who get dolled up but are eager to get home early and crawl into bed with soft cotton joggers and a good book (<<I should have mentioned this yesterday, but I’m currently reading this on the good word of my dear friend A.)

+Last night’s book club was electric, mind-broadening.  There was something so deeply satisfying about sitting among a quorum of brilliant women discussing this female-centric text in the cradle of creativity (aka, Inslee’s art studio).  Magic.  We voted (loosely) and have decided to read The Mermaid and Mrs. Hancock.  We also moved the in-person convening up to November 19th to accommodate travel schedules in case you are reading along in real time with us.  The streak of strong female writers continues!

+When I got to the floor of Inslee’s art studio, I smelled Diptyque Baies wafting down the hallway.  Only I came to find it wasn’t Diptyque’s Baies — it was this scent by Hawkins New York!  Inslee let us in on a little secret: “Life hack: how to get Diptyque without spending $70 on a candle.”  I’m curious whether their Hudson scent will be a sufficient dupe for my favorite fall/winter Diptyque scent: Feu de Bois.

+At the wedding I attended last weekend, the father of the groom extolled his son’s many virtues at the rehearsal dinner and said something I have been carrying around with me since: “Steve, every day, you do all the right things at all the right times.”  It was a perfect portrait of this dutiful, deeply good man — and put so simply and elegantly, too.  I have been thinking about his characterization daily as I march through my routines: am I living a life of comparable conscientiousness?

+I am writing a bit of fiction and in one scene, I imagine the main character wearing this.  I can’t see her in anything else but this.  The minute I saw that dress, it coalesced with the image of a Gatsby-esque party at a mansion in the Hamptons, the light tinkling of china and glass, the polite hum of conversation, the greenswards and the live nine-piece band with their brassy instruments and white gloves and the crunch of gravel as cars come and go in the cul de sac.  She must wear this dress.  I wonder if I should buy it now that it’s marked down so heavily, just in case I ever do anything with this bit of fiction, and just in case I should need to wear it to some future event where I can smugly tell myself: “This dress brought me here.”

+Also: Shopbop just added a ton of great finds to their sale section.  I love this Saloni (what a surprise), this striped tee dress (which I might buy and put away for next summer — the perfect dress for traipsing around Central Park with mini and my trusty GG sneakers), this floral blouse (for under joveralls!), these silver mules.  I’m not usually into a chunky heel like this, but I am dying over that print, and the overall look is geeky chic in a way I find compelling.  Would look so stylish paired with a classic trench coat!

+I get this question a lot: what’s a good gift for a new mom?  My neighbor just gave birth and I knew instantly what I would get her, which is what a dear friend of mine gave to me  a few days after mini was born: a big bag full of fancy sandwich fixings.  Think: Sir Kensington’s mayo, high-end pastrami and lacey swiss and rosemary ham and havarti, dijon mustard, fancy pickles, and bread from a really good local bakery.  I wrapped each item in cellophane and tied it with a big bow, and then also bagged up some kettle chips, chocolate covered raisins, and dried fruit.  Let me tell you: those first two or three weeks are a hazy blur and it somehow feels like you don’t have even a few minutes to make yourself something to eat.  Having the material to make a midnight sandwich — and a fancy one to boot — is like magic.  Strongly recommend.  I always keep a roll of cellophane, a stack of treat bags, and a huge spool of thick white satin ribbon on hand for these kinds of occasions.

+Of course, I couldn’t gift the parents something without also spoiling the baby.  I often give the Boppy as a gift because it was a true lifesaver for me (one big surprise of new motherhood: you need multiple places to put the baby throughout the day), but the tiny confines in which we New Yorkers live made me hesitate.  What if she already had a few places to stow the baby?  Instead, I went with a tried and true Kissy Kissy footie (<<I love this print because it’s not super frou-frou and girly, and this mama does not seem like she’d be that way; this brand makes THE softest jammies and you can never have enough on hand!) and a wubbanub.

+Random, but have I told you how much I love my brown sugar keepers?  I have one for light sugar and one for dark sugar.  For years I would grumble to myself as I’d reach into my brown sugar bag and find a stiff block.  Not so anymore.

 

By: Jen Shoop

Five stars.  In this epic re-imagining of the myth(s) of goddess Circe, Madeline Miller recasts a sorceress best known for transforming sailors into pigs in The Odyssey into a deeply empathetic, deeply human woman.  The writing is spring-loaded, pungent.  She favors metaphor over simile, and the payoff is huge: the prose moves with lean agility, propelling us breathlessly forward as we leap from imagistic line to imagistic line (a favorite: when she describes Odysseus as “The spiral shell.  Always another curve out of sight.”  (!!!))  This pacing urgency, this inexorability of plot, in fact seems to me one of the most remarkable achievements of the book: the conjuring of the present, awash in the interminable, unknowable, terrifying hopeful promise of what comes next.  Miller delivers to us only what Circe knows and feels at a given moment, singly revealing to us what is within her ken.  It is only over time, looking back over our shoulders, that we learn her mistakes and puzzle over the reflection we are able to glean through the interpretations of others, whether from Odysseus through the voice of Penelope or Pasiphae telling Circe that she hung too close to their father as a child.  This achievement is startling in the sense that — for those of us who have read the classics, and even many who have not — the storylines are familiar and we know how plot lines will end.  And yet I found myself anxiously hanging on every word, the imagery, the psychology so harrowing and new.

Many Magpies have already commented on and applauded the feminist slant of this work.  At one point, reflecting on her relationship with Odysseus, Circe herself states: “Later, years later, I would hear a song made of our meeting. I was not surprised by the portrait of myself, the proud witch undone before the hero’s sword, kneeling and begging for mercy. Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime for poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep.”  This book sets out to prove the opposite.  The female characters in this book are strong, empowered, and independent, their spirits and desires as wide and formidable as any man’s.  I think of Athena, of Medea, of course of Circe, and in particular of Scylla, that “bitch with a cliff for a heart.”  (Wow.)  Her enormous proportions, her nine-headedness, her insatiability, the fact that she kept her legs tucked into the side of a mountain so seafarers never fully understood the extent of her size — and that searing image of her falling limbs striking the water with tidal force when she is finally killed.  And then the recurring phrase Circe utters throughout the book: “you do not know what lies within me.”  It’s not quite posturing, either; she never fully knows the extent of her powers, even — or especially — when she realizes that her magic is more about will than anything else.  There are multiple points at which Circe is unsure of whether a particular spell will work or not; she, too, is unsure of the depths of her own determination, her own power.  But she uses this to her advantage, even maneuvering her selfish, hot-headed (pun intended!) father Helios to lift her exile by gesturing to the fact that he does not know what she is capable of.

This shapeless potency of Circe’s, the unknowable depth of her strength, is central to everything in the book, a kind of key to understanding what’s happening throughout.  Circe is part nymph, part god — not fullway either.  She is ejected by and disowned from her family, even before Helios makes the split official by exiling her — and yet she is still understood and identified through her familial connections.  She is jealous and cunning and vengeful, but also fair-minded and empathetic and compassionate.  She lives on an island far from much of the action of the world in which she lives, but she also embroils herself in much of its acrimony.  In other words, she is liminal.  Importantly, though, her liminality is wholly distinct from the kind to which she was relegated in The Odyssey, where she is presented as “yet another one of Odysseus’s challenges.”  In The Odyssey, she is the outcast sorceress whom the hero must outwit in order to prevent himself from being transformed into a pig.  What we learn in this retelling, of course, is that Circe has cast this spell not out of crackpot witchery but out of self-defense against the disgusting men who have tried to take advantage of her while alone.  In other words, we move from Circe as the flat ancillary “other” who must be conquered and whose story is wholly subjugated to the Grand Narrative of Odysseus the Explorer to Circe, the round central character whose depths cannot fully be plumbed.  She is unknowable in a different kind of way, even from the first line of the book, which sent shivers down my spine: “When I was born, the name for what I was did not exist.”  In this powerhouse opener, Miller shows us that Circe defies language.  She is so unknowable, she cannot been captured in words.  This is a startling way to open a book, if you think about it: Miller is pointing us to the unsophisticated bluntness of language even as she uses it herself.  There is something profound about the statement here that doubles back on itself when Circe describes her misguided portraits by bards: women like Circe have not yet been achieved in words, have not yet been fully liberated through language.  This book is an attempt to right that wrong, to name things as they are.

Circe Book Club Questions.

+Many of the classics begin in media res, or “in the middle of things.”  The Odyssey, for example, begins halfway through Odysseus’ wanderings rather than at the dawn of the Trojan War, which launched the narrative to begin with.  Madeline Miller’s Circe is more of a genesis story: it opens with Circe’s birth.  Why?

+Similarly, why does Circe’s story end when it does, with unfinished business to attend to, i.e., the state of conflict with her family and the departure of her beloved son?  (Or is there no unfinished business, to your mind?)

+What did you make of the description of Circe’s voice, a source of belittlement by her family and yet an advantage from time to time when she was interacting with mortals throughout her story?  Why was this detail mentioned so many times throughout the book?

+Did you relate to Circe?  At what point(s)?

+What did you make of her string of attractions to mortals — first Glaucos, then Daedalus, then Odysseus, and finally Telemachus?

+What did you make of the whole plot line where she transforms Glaucos into a god and then transforms Scylla into “her true self”?  What are your thoughts on those transformations and on what they revealed to Circe?

+How do you feel about Penelope?  What was her role in the book?

+What was the climax of the book do you think?  Why?  And what does this say about the central battle/challenge that Circe was grappling with?

November Book Club.

I am so torn on the book selection for November that I am going to have the ladies at my in-person book club this evening cast votes.  (Feel free to weigh in below in the comments, too — I’ll weigh your voices equally!)

+Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie.  This book is winning all kinds of awards and the snippet I read was highly captivating.  I am also salivating over this line from the NYT review: “Builds to one of the most memorable final scenes I’ve read in a novel this century.”   Wowza.  The book purports to be about the push and pull of family, personal ambition, and love, with three siblings at its heart.

+An Unnecessary Woman by Rabih Alameddine.  I mentioned at the end of our last book club that maybe we should permit some male authors into our little feminist knot.  This seems a particular piquant choice given the title and the fact that the author is a man who tells a personal narrative from the perspective of an elderly female.  This alone intrigued me.  It has also won dozens of awards.  It is described as “a breathtaking portrait of one reclusive woman’s late-life crisis, which garnered a wave of rave reviews and love letters to Alameddine’s cranky yet charming septuagenarian protagonist, Aaliya, a character you “can’t help but love.”

+The Mermaid and Mrs. Hancock by Imogen Gowar.  This book was effusively reviewed by Madeline Miller herself as “completely transporting.”  It is an imaginative novel set in in 1780s London, when “a prosperous merchant finds his quiet life upended when he unexpectedly receives a most unusual creature—and meets a most extraordinary woman.”  The book “examines our capacity for wonder, obsession, and desire with all the magnetism, originality, and literary magic of The Essex Serpent.”

I’ll update you with next month’s pick tomorrow.  Let’s plan on convening Thursday, November 29th to discuss!  Local New York ladies: email me if you want to be on the list for details for the in-person convening!

Post Scripts.

+I loved Circe so much that I already purchased Ursula Le Guin’s Lavinia, a VERY well-reviewed retelling of Virgil’s Aenid from the perspective of Lavinia, the king’s daughter with whom the hero is destined to found an empire.  I’ve heard much about Le Guin, who is better known for her science fiction works, but never read anything of hers, largely owing to her chosen genre.  (Though, maybe I should try?)  Anyway, I can’t wait to get started on this one but might need a breather from the classics first.

+If Circe were alive today (and…non-mythical), I’m pretty sure she’d be wearing this.

+I wore these hot pink Aquazzura kitten heels to the rehearsal dinner of one of my dearest friends last weekend and got so many compliments on them.  It made me wonder why I don’t wear more hot pink — I used to wear the color all.the.time but have shied away in recent years.  I promptly added this to my Shopbop cart and swooned over these.

+Ordered these for mini.  She had a pair of this brand’s animal boots last year and they are the snugliest, cutest things my eyes ever did see.  Speaking of snuggly animal footwear — OMG.

+Adore these tartan loafers and OMG these tweed ones!

+I love my faux Goyard iPhone case and all, but these ones are SO cute!  Especially love this one and this one.

+I like a good quilted field coat.  Mine is Barbour, but this one nails the look for $40 and this one is everything.

+Very into this oversized blazer situation.

+It’s never too early in my book.  Related: I’m pretty sure I need this.

+THIS JUMPSUIT!  So ladylike and chic.  I want to wear it with black suede pumps and pretend like I work in fih-non-se (finance) for a minute.

+Love this sweatshirt.

+Don’t ask me how, but this chic varsity jacket is somehow marked down from nearly $700 to $144.  LOVE IT.

P.S. Last month’s book club pick, how my book club has taught me how to read all over again, and the best bags for everyday adventures.

By: Jen Shoop

I have been vacillating towards two extremes in my cool weather dressing: either predominantly black or ultra feminine.  Today I’m in the latter camp, inspired by feathers, pearls, and sorbet colors, as shown by the moodboard below.

Volume at Cecilie Bahnsen // Feathers at Rochas // Minnow Swim Resort Collection // Loulou de Saison in Erdem // Bows at Delpozo // Pearls by Jimmy Choo (variation here) // gorgeous mini dresses by Estelle Milano

The Fashion Magpie Feminine Moodboard

A couple of items I’m drooling over (click on images to access details or see links and notes below):


+Flower earrings (under $60!);

+Zimmermann sweater (to die — get the look for less with this);

+Tory Burch Clara Flat (adore in this new colorway);

+Rebecca Vallance slip dress (saucy and sweet and importantly ON SALE);

+Wandler handbag;

+Maiami cardigan — just love this color and have been considering this cashmere crew in a similar color;

+Nicola Bathie earrings (<<on sale for under $65);

+Veronica Beard blouse (obsessed — get the look for less with this);

+Alexandre Birman velvet heels;

+White feather dress;

+Loeffler Randall feather clutch;

+Pearl embellished sweater;

+Moncler puffer (love and lust);

+Sorel boots;

+Cashmere beanie;

+Another chic Moncler puffer (loveeeee!);

+Slouch socks.  OK I have to say something about these.  I bought them when I was headed to the hospital to give birth to mini because I heard that you would have to walk up and down the hall in your bare feet if you didn’t — and also that hospitals tend to be cold and you’d want them.  I was initially unsure about these because they are a “slouchy” fit — they don’t stay snug around your calf.  But gradually I have fallen in love with them.  They are the softest, plushest sock EVER and I love sleeping in them when I’m super cold.  Thinking of buying a pair for my mom’s stocking…

+Blanket coat.  Different style, but also love the soft sorbet colors of this cocoon coat!

OK and FINALLY — not shown above: this adorable sweater!!!

P.S.  What makes you feel good about yourself?

P.P.S.  Lessons learned from siblings.

P.P.P.S.  Are you a town mouse or country mouse?

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Shiseido Facial Cotton.

For months now I have been dissatisfied by one element of my skincare routine: the micellar water step.  Not because of the micellar solution itself, but because of the application experience.  Those cotton round pads are the worst.  They’re either not absorbent enough or too absorbent and I feel like half of the micellar water spills onto my counter or seeps through to my fingers.  And cotton balls aren’t any better — they’re too small and soggy.  It dawned on me one day as I grumped my way through this step of my bedtime routine that I am probably not the first Nobel Laureate to make such a dazzling observation, and that there was probably a solution out there.  Enter Shiseido’s Facial Cotton.  Is this one of those secrets everyone else knows about?!  Over 1000 five star reviews?!  It can’t be true.  I debated between Shiseido and Koh Gen Do’s variation (epic reviews as well) but went with Shiseido because it costs less but seems just as well-loved.  Anyone else on board to up her beauty regimen in the smallest but loveliest of ways?  (FYI: more recent beauty snags here, along with super honest reviews.)

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Feathered Dress.

The most popular items on Le Blog this week:

+Feathered dress OMG OMG.  (A major trend this season!)  But get this: I found the dress on sale here!

+A turtleneck sweatshirt?  Yes pls.  Love the way this novel neckline elevates a standard sweatshirt.

+It’s sweater dress season.

+This sweater keeps almost selling out.  Love this or this as an alternative.

+A perfect holiday dress (maternity friendly too?)

+The prettiest sweater.

+Our new toothbrushes.

#Turbothot: Bloom Where You Are Planted.

I attended an alumni event for my high school a few nights ago and, when my headmaster from days of yore stood and addressed us, he shared that the theme for this academic year, a quote from St. Francis de Sales: “Bloom where you are planted.”

Amidst polite applause and genteel nods, I felt something tighten inside.  My knee-jerk reaction to the quote was: “I don’t like that.”  Are we meant to passively accept the conditions of our lives and “make do”?  I wondered.  What about initiative?  What about planting ourselves where we know we will bloom?  I was startled by the angst of my own reaction.  Where was this coming from?  Blurry impressions of the events of the last five or ten years floated, mirage-like, through my mind — our decision to  move to Chicago, our decision to leave our jobs, our decision to start a business, our decision to buy a home, our decision to start a family, our decision to move to New York.  I realized I was adopting a gesture of defense in running through the zig zag of professional and personal decisions I have made.  I wasn’t planted anywhere, I was thinking, dangling halfway between guilt and haughtiness. I feel a tremendous responsibility for the decisions I have made, for the seeming missteps and also the triumphs.  I am accountable for what I have done in my life.

A meaty breakthrough amidst the clinking of glasses of chardonnay and the trays of crab cakes: this is how I see myself in relation to my life at thirty-four.  There have been other times in my life where I have more strongly sensed God’s hand in all things, big and small, where I have welcomed the prospect of fate: Will I go to graduate school?  Where?  Will we live in D.C. or move?  And it’s not that I don’t believe God is shaping my life now; it’s that, at this time in my life, for whatever reason, I have a powerful conviction that I am an agent of change in my life and that I must own what I do.

Once I had relaxed into this observation, I found the St. Francis quote far more palatable, cottoning to its half-full mentality, to its optimistic emphasis on the adaptability of the human spirit.  And, wouldn’t you know it, I replayed the quote to myself just yesterday, as I found myself inwardly whining about the afternoon walks I take three days a week with mini and Tilly in tow.  I have come to dread these walks because mini has just woken up from her nap and is not in the mood to go straight into her stroller, and so we spend ten minutes wandering around the apartment, me trailing her with snacks and shoes and cajoling words while she putters around, refusing to comply, until an unseemly battle of the wills takes place as I strap her into her stroller.  Meanwhile, Tilly’s whining so much she’s worked herself up into a tizzy that inevitably boils over into a barking session at — who knows, the wind? the sound of wheels down the hallway? a leaf against the window? — and dozens of lunges at the squirrels currently overpopulating Central Park.  As I mentally indexed all of the reasons why I dislike this afternoon walk, I thought about the quote and my cheeks burned.  I realized St. Francis’ quote actually does have a lot to do with owning the conditions of our lives: I have the opportunity to thrive, to mature, to enjoy the circumstances my life if I put my mind to it.

I’ll probably still grumble from time to time when my arm is nearly ripped from its socket for the fourth time in our loop around the ballfields as Tilly lunges after a squirrel, but I also pledge to appreciate this part of our day, squirrels and stroller battles and all.  With applications to twos programs in full swing, I am realizing that my days with just the three of us girls at home are numbered, and that one day I will look back with heady nostalgia about our cozy and slightly chaotic walks through the Park.  Oh, life was crazy and fun, I’ll think as I look over at a graying pooch and a school-aged mini.  And I will regret not having bloomed where I was planted, here right on Central Park in 2018 in an apartment I love with a family I adore.

#Shopaholic: New Must-Have Toy.

+Apparently these are a new craze among the kiddos.

+Gave my mother-in-law a pair of these along with a few other goodies for her birthday this year.  Another great go-to gift if you’re really up a creek.  They are the best, coziest slippers ever.

+Have had a need for “everyday” dresses to wear to various events where the occasion is nothing too fancy, but calls for something nicer than jeans and a sweater.  I love this, this, and this.

+Ordered this.  I’m always looking for soft knits to slip in/pair with my dreamy joggers.

+How chic are these monogrammable notebooks?  I’m normally a devotee of Moleskine cahiers because they have no spine and I’m a lefty or Leuchtterms because I like the hard cover for when I’m schlepping them around in my bag.  But those monogrammable ones have my eye — love their size!  I always like a slightly larger space to write on.

+OK, this is stunning.  Saloni does it again.

+This eucalyptus wreath is amazing.

+How adorable are these ornaments?!

+OMG this coat for a little lass.

P.S. — Had a lot of questions about the faux Goyard laptop case I found on Amazon.  I ordered it in the large because it indicated that its dimensions would fit my 15″ Macbook.  I was impressed with the quality (the zipper was maybe the only part of it that looked cheap) but my laptop would NOT fit!  What a bummer.  On the fence about whether to keep and use as a pouch/clutch situation or return…BUT if you have a smaller laptop, I would definitely recommend it!

 

By: Jen Shoop

There is a section of Circe (full review forthcoming but it is gooooooooooood) to which I related deeply.  Circe has just discovered that she possesses magical powers, but it is not until her brother Aetees smugly explains them to her that she understands their extent.  She is startled, maybe a bit chastised, by this discovery and by Aetees seemingly easy grasp of them.  You can see herself refashioning her own image as she digests the information.  Aha, that is who I am.

It calls to mind my father’s casual “you run cool” comment and the way it shaped my understanding of myself.  And it also reminds me of a conversation with my sister many years ago, in her apartment on the Upper East Side (before she got fancy and moved to London).  We were sizing up a friend of ours who had shown some questionable decision-making.

“You know, there are those kinds of people who just seem like they’d run out of their way to help someone else, and others who…well, wouldn’t,” she said.  “Landon is obviously the first kind.  This guy’s the other.”

I relished the second-hand compliment as quickly as I agreed with her.  When I relayed the story to Mr. Magpie, he said: “Really?  She said that?”  And I could see him ticking through his rolodex of memories with my sister, wondering what had given her that (undoubtedly true) impression.

It is a strange thought that others might know us better than we know ourselves, that in many ways we learn who we are through their prism.  How people describe you, what they ask of you, when and why they call on you for advice or support — we spend time wondering about these, reading between the lines.  Is that what she thinks of me?  Why would she think I would get along with so-and-so?  Sometimes I think I could be a handier friend by painting a picture proactively.  I was thinking the other day: wouldn’t it be kind to send a friend a note out of the blue reminding them of — thanking them, really — for their virtues, making sure they see those best bits of themselves when it is easier to focus on the problem areas?  I should do this.

My Dad has told me many times that he sat down one afternoon in his mid-40s and wrote a letter to his own father.  In it, he thanked him, in detail, for his wonderful traits, for his lessons, for his generosities of one kind and another.  “I’m always glad I took the time to write that down,” my Dad has said, and we both nod at what is omitted from that sentence: before he passed away.

I have gotten into the habit of hand-writing thank you notes to my parents every now and then for their extravagant care and love.  I hope they see in these notes the incredible people they are, how deeply good and fair and tender-hearted.  But I could stand to do this more often, too.

So today, I have decided to clear my desk, open my inbox, tap in the name of a dear friend, and let them know why I love them.  Care to join?

#lovelettertoafriend — it’s a thing now?

Post Scripts.

+In case you want to go the extra mile with this, writing a hand-written letter is pretty much le ultimate.  Consider these chic Kate Spade cards, this stunning personalized stationery (<<the liners!!!), this splashy personalized set, or these letterpress cards.

+Gifts for girlfriends.

+Testing a sample of this cleanser I received while away for the weekend.  Full report soon but the reviews are compelling!

+This just arrived (I got the yellow-gold) and it is even better than expected.  I actually can’t believe the pricetag on it — how is it under $150 when so many of their other sweaters are well north of $300!?

+These nubby shoes!!!!  LOVE!  These are the kinds of shoes I can totally legitimize.  On the surface — what?!  They are so specific; I’ll only be able to wear them with like two outfits.  But no no my friend.  These are called “game changing shoes,” meaning when you look in your closet and feel “meh,” you pull on your black skinnies and a black sweater and throw on these shoes and instantly transform yourself into a cool girl.  Done.

+A $51 steal of a cocktail party dress.  Love the idea of this with some simple black pumps.  60s glam.

+Love the dimensions of this nubby sweater.

+OMG THESE FOR MINI ARE SO EXTRA.  Or these for a cool little boy.

+A great, well-priced toggle coat for a little lad.

+A controversial post: the weight of words.

+A heart-warming post: the same and not the same.

By: Jen Shoop

What a delightful treat to wake up to news of another royal baby.  (Honeymoon baby?! #Nosy.)  Why are we Americans so interested in the royal family though?  I think it’s partly the externalized social order there (American society is just as stratified but not as explicit about it with titles, lineage, etc?) and partly the fairy tale of it all.  A prince!  A wedding!  A baby!  Mon dieu.  (For fellow royalty admirers, consider the delicious novel The Royal We for a delightful way to pass a weekend, and be sure to follow the Instagram handle @garyjanetti for hilarious royal commentary.)  Anyway, below, I shared some thoughts on gifts fit for Harry and Meghan’s prince or princess…(click images to access details or see links below!)

+Burberry Quilted Jacket.

+Beatrix Potter stuffed animal.

+Classic t-strap shoes.

+Wooden blocks.

+Peter Rabbit baby china set.

+Petite Plume jammies.

+Peugeot ride-on car.

+Lunt piggy bank.

+La Coqueta dress.  I absolutely adore this line of Spanish baby clothing — heirloom quality.  Also adore their knit sets.  (A dress from Luli & Me or Amaia would also be a classic.)

+Hermes booties.  Ultra splurge.  Ralph Lauren’s Briley slippers are also a classic for far less.

+Tiffany comb.  An aunt gave this to mini and it is such a beautiful keepsake.

+Any of the Maileg mice toys are to die for.  My mother-in-law and I swoon over the catalogs and have gone in together preemptively on a few gift sets for future celebrations with mini.

+Little Giraffe chenille blanket.  We received so many blankets when mini was born, but this was our absolute favorite.  It’s still the one mini sleeps with every night.  (And it’s held up well in the wash!)

+Jacquard coat.

+Wicker doll pram.  I mean…!  Fairy godmother gift.

+Peep’s Paper Products baby book.  The most elegant baby book I ever did see.

+De Buci Baby sleepsack.  I wanted one of these badly for mini but never splurged!  What an elegant and extravagant gift.  I love their fabrics.

+Kissy Kissy jammies.  In my opinion, the unrivaled pajama for newborns.  The softest cotton, the sweetest patterns.

+D. Porthault baby pillow.

Not shown above, but equally gorgeous as a baby gift: a classic hardcover book, like The Velveteen Rabbit; a huge stuffed animal; a personalized LLBean tote.

P.S.  I also wrote about the royal children’s attire at Pippa’s wedding awhile ago (so darling) and, more recently, shared a roundup of my favorite sources for formal attire for mini.

P.P.S.  Gifts for friends.

P.P.P.S.  My complete baby registry.

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