By: Jen Shoop

I had been happily plodding along throughout this pregnancy, blissful and grateful and willfully ignorant of the imminent realities of childbirth and change — until I attended a prenatal yoga class last week. The instructor was fantastic. The women attending the program were wise and supportive and zen-like. And yet I left in emotional disarray.

It started with the opening commentary: “There are a lot of second-time moms here today. Take a minute to place your hand on your belly and think about this pregnancy, this baby, this journey. What’s new and different about it? Even though it might feel like well-worn territory, it is also a new beginning. A new start.”

I lay there with my heart in my throat. I felt emotionally ambushed. I felt at once guilty for not giving this pregnancy my full attention (something I’d previously considered a blessing), ill-prepared, and awash with the tenderest of emotions I’d not felt in full force since I was anticipating mini’s birth. I felt tears prick my eyes and focused, momentarily, on the din outside the window: the very Manhattan sounds of street-work, honking horns, errant yells.

I knew I was going to be a loose cannon for the remainder of the hour and a half session. Yes, an hour and a half. I had not read the fine print and was forced to politely disguise my horror when I overheard the instructor relay this information to a fellow attendant, regretting having positioned myself so far from the door in the event that a discreet and early exit was in order. An hour and a half of anything is tough-going, but an hour and a half of emotional turmoil is agonizing, and I could tell I was in for it. I gritted my teeth.

We went around the room, stated our names and our due dates, and were invited to share updates on our physical well-being. You may be surprised given that I write this blog, but I am private about certain things — my health in front of a group of strangers being one of them — and I panicked about what to share, groping around for something not-too-intimate. But something surprising happened to me as I listened to the other pregnant women introduce themselves: I softened. I started to feel connected to this tribe of women. I felt, as I did that day I attended the bris of a friend’s son, overwhelmed by the massive march of humanity, by the poignancy of our shared experience. I began to feel pregnant in a far more profound sense than I have this entire pregnancy.

And then we were invited to chant. And I shut down again. I have always struggled to embrace the more spiritual side of yoga, and I mean no disrespect to the many women who appreciate that element of the practice. But it has always felt forced and bizarre to me, as if I were being asked to make the sign of the cross while on the elliptical. And this day was no different: I felt myself withdraw, again distracting myself by tuning into the street noise and foot traffic outside.

And so my emotions were already running amok when the instructor proceeded to use a decent portion of the class to talk us through coping mechanisms for labor. Suddenly, the weepy guilt and connectedness and love I had felt were tinged with anxiety and panic. Coping mechanisms? Mindful labor? What? As we held warrior II pose for an ungodly amount of time, the instructor urged us to attend to our reactions to the burn of our muscles: how were we managing the pain? Were we counting? Repeating a mantra? Leaning into, accepting, opening up to the experience? Breathing deeply? In other words, when met with discomfort, what techniques did we use to make it to the other side? I almost always found myself doing nothing productive but thinking, vapidly, “This is temporary. This will pass. Just make it to when she tells us to stop.” I was surprised to hear another mother share the same instinct as we reflected together towards the end of the session. The instructor nodded sagely: “That’s a coping mechanism in and of itself. Just know that each contraction lasts a minute. Focus on getting through that minute versus the entire arc of labor.” And I remembered, in a flash, the incessant praying of Hail Marys to pass the time while I was having my c-section. “Just focus on getting to the end of this decade,” I had been telling myself. Then: “Just focus on getting to the end of this Hail Mary.” Then: “Just focus on getting to the midway point of this prayer.” Then: “Don’t think about anything else but the words in front of you.”

I left a complete mess. I was sore, emotionally exhausted, terrified and embarrassed by my lack of thoughtfulness about impending labor, bolstered by the presence of so many other pregnant women, distraught about the unknowns of delivering my son, haunted by the memory of my first c-section, encouraged by the discovery that my “just make it to the other side of this minute” was a passable coping mechanism. Mainly, I felt as though I was in a kind of shock. I’m delivering a baby?  In, like, a few months?  This little body?  Me?

Fortuitously, a girlfriend of mine texted me just as I was walking, adrift, down Broadway, aching for distraction. She was asking something innocuous but I cannot overstate my relief as I unloaded my experience onto her, a two-time mom who has given birth vaginally and via c-section and has lived to tell the tale with humor and wisdom and practicality that I have leaned on more heavily than she will ever know.

I issued an ineloquent brain dump on the class and my attending emotions that culminated in this: “It dawned on me that I know zero things about labor except for the maybe two hours of it I experienced prior to having an emergency c-section last time.  It sucks that I feel like a tenured mom but am going into this delivery and facing the same unknowns and anxieties I had the first go around, assuming all goes to plan (HAHAHA) and I am able to have a VBAC. It’s put me in a weird, slightly anxious mood. Maybe good in the long haul to have confronted some of these thoughts now.”

She wrote: “Second pregnancies are sneaky like that. You’re so distracted with your first that you don’t have the time/energy/mental space to obsess over everything!…I will say that my experience overall with the vaginal birth was just better (and it was my first kid so I had no idea!) — more relaxed, more intuitive, more pleasant (Team Epidural forever), immensely easier recovery. Maybe that will give you some peace of mind?”

Then: “I made a point of not taking any birth classes or reading too much and it felt like my body was doing what it was created to do, you know? All I needed was a little support from my husband, good doctors and nurses, and an epidural. You’ll do great. “Worst” case, you’ll have another c-section, which I know is probably not your preference but it’s a known experience. The devil you know and all.”

I needed to hear every single word she said. I soaked it up like a sponge. I carried it around all afternoon, hanging on with particular intensity to her use of the word “intuitive” when it came to vaginal childbirth. I clung to her example, having determinedly not read much about giving birth prior to her own deliveries, and having turned out just fine.

I was reminded of my observation that there are two types of mothers: those who need to read and learn everything they can in order to feel empowered (“knowledge is power,” a friend of mine once said, fierily, as she explained why she was reading so much prior to the birth of her son) and those who are overwhelmed and even incapacitated by too much information. I am in the latter camp. I have learned this about myself time and time again over the past many years. I don’t want to read ten articles and books on potty-training. I want to poll the handful of moms I trust and follow my instincts and be done with it. Anything more is debilitating for me.

And that’s OK, my friend reminded me.

My body was doing what it was created to do, you know? It echoed through me. It reminded me of something important: that across the entire range of coping mechanisms we’d discussed in the yoga class, we’d not talked about faith. And I understand why, too — too political, too touchy, too dicey. But as I scrambled to figure out what my “coping mechanisms” were in class, I’d entirely overlooked the chief ones I lean on every single day, in matters meaty and minute: faith in my religion, faith in my doctors, faith in the love and advice of my loved ones, and a gritting kind of determination to just make it through the next minute.

So here we are. I don’t think that I’ll be going back to that particular yoga class again, but I’m grateful for the provocations it presented. It left me more mindful of and grateful for the support system I’ve built for myself, and, I think, better prepared for labor in a couple of months, provided I don’t need a second c-section, and I’m pretty sure that since I’ve made my preference known, I’ll definitely need a c-section, because that tends to be the way the cookie crumbles. But, ya know. The devil you know…

Post-Scripts: A Registry for Baby Two.

I’ve had lots of requests for my registry for baby boy. We truly do not need much, as we miraculously hung on to EVERYTHING from mini except for clothes and bottles, which I donated. But below, the new items on my list:

+Kickstand for mini (plus adapters — ugh, Bugaboo must laugh all the way to the bank with their overpriced attachments) to ride on the back of our Bugaboo. I’ve written about this previously, but we’re trying to avoid buying a double stroller — unless we discover we need one once micro arrives. We do have a Yoyo that we can use if we ever need both in strollers simultaneously (and are out and about together). We had a long debate over whether we should also buy the newborn attachment to the Yoyo, knowing that we have the bassinet attachment for the Bugaboo and (see below) will be investing in additional carriers. We thought probably not — under what circumstance would we need the newborn attachment to the Yoyo when we have a bassinet for the Bugaboo? Pls discuss if you’ve been down this rabbit hole before.

+Pacifiers. Mini only accepted a pacifier for a month or two, which, I understand, is probably a blessing in the long run (one last habit to break, one fewer orthodontic challenges), but man was it nice to be able to mollify the babe in a pinch. We used, and will re-purchase, Wubbanubs (smart because the stuffed animal holds the pacifier in place — and they look cute!), but I’ve heard good things about this brand, too. Will probably buy one of each.

+Kissy Kissy onesies. Gerbers are good backups, but the quality of a Kissy Kissy is second to — well, only second to 1212 onesies, which I will also buy several of. Both Kissy Kissy and 1212 have the absolute softest, silkiest cotton and it holds up so well over time. I think they’re absolutely worth the investment for sizes NB-6 months, when all you want to do is swaddle the little one in the softest of fabrics.

+Jefferies Socks in itty bitty sizes. I prefer to buy all socks in white (I still only buy white socks for mini, except for when it comes to knee socks, which I buy in all colors). You’re never without a mate, they go with everything, and I think the colored/patterned ones can be dicey style-wise. I don’t know why I’m so ascetic on this front…

+Philips Avent 4 oz bottles. I had bought an assortment of bottles and nipples for mini, and these were her favorite from day one. Personally, I like them because the lids actually stay in place (not so with Comotomos) and, with time, can be removed with one hand (not at first, though — it takes practice and loosening), the bottles NEVER LEAK EVER (!!! not so with many other brands), and they’re easy to hold.

+Baby Bjorn Mini Carrier. OK, call me a nut, but I have two carriers at home (the Baby K’Tan and the Lillebaby) and I’m buying two new ones for this baby. I didn’t like either of the first two — the K’Tan always felt unsecure to me, though I know other people LOVE them, and the Lille Baby was just a general pain in the ass to put on and adjust. I am sold on the Baby Bjorn Mini because it’s designed SPECIFICALLY for newborns up to 12 months, which is basically the only time I’ll be carrying this child anyway (any older is too heavy and long for my frame). I like that this isn’t trying to be a Swiss Army Knife: “use this from when your child is first born until she’s 22!” It doesn’t have 498 positions. It doesn’t have 39489 straps. It’s just meant to easily transport a newborn. I’ve heard it takes a minute to get used to it, but once you do, it’s easy as pie to maneuver, and I like the feature that you can completely unsnap the front in order to deposit a sleeping baby. My plan is to use the Bjorn and let Mr. Magpie use the Lille so we don’t need to constantly be adjusting and readjusting the straps depending on who’s wearing the baby. The carrier is SUPER important to us this go around because we’re trying to get by without a double stroller and I imagine I will be wearing this baby ALL THE TIME.

+Second carrier: Solly Baby. Isn’t the gingham print adorable?! I had a lot of readers and friends recommend this and I’m running with it. It’s apparently a learning curve at first but then people live with it. We shall see…I’m encouraged by reviews.

+Second camera for our Infant Optics DXR-8 video monitor. Mr. Magpie gave me grief about this one given that we live in like 1000 square feet. (Do we even need a monitor at all??? And — isn’t mini outgrowing hers?) Hear me out. First, I had debated whether I wanted a video monitor before mini was born — wouldn’t sound be enough to let me know whether I should run in and check on her? Well, possibly, but the convenience of being able to see whether she is standing in her crib while crying or laying on her stomach with her eyes closed while crying cannot be overstated. I have probably pre-empted about 394898 dozen sleep interruptions on her behalf by being able to quickly check the screen vs. slide back the pocket door to her nursery and rouse her. Further, sometimes I hear something and quickly glance at the monitor — was that her moving in her crib, or did something just fall off the wall? This gives me such peace of mind. I also like that it has a thermometer built into it because we live in an old, pre-war building and the radiators turn on or off at the pleasure of some operator in the building (who knows where he/she is), so it’s either boiling hot or freezing in the winter time. We have to crack the window ever so slightly if the radiator’s going full blast or layer her under blankets if it’s not. The temperature gauge gives me peace of mind as I go to sleep — “OK, she doesn’t need me to run in and bury her beneath blankets.” BUT ANYWAY. I think it will be ultra nice to have a monitor focused on micro, who will sleep in our bedroom (naptimes and nighttimes alike) and on mini, too, while both are sleeping (ha). And even if they’re not both sleeping at the same time, it’s so much more convenient to have a separate camera in place, permanently, versus moving one camera in and out of rooms. And while I don’t think the DXR-8 is without problem (for one thing, the power cord does not lay snugly enough in the socket of the camera, which means it is often “off line” unless we very carefully jam in the power cord and prop it up just so; for another, the battery life of the monitor is pathetic and I finally had to figure out a way to keep it plugged in all the time on my bedside table), it is DEFINITELY the best on the market, having read SO many reviews of competitors. Nest cameras are the only ones that came close to deterring me from the DXR-8, but they run over WiFi and our old house would occasionally run into spottiness with signal coverage; the DXR-8 seemed more infallible.

+Hipp Dutch baby formula. I did a ton of research on this after mini was born. I had heard it was smart to have baby formula on hand in the event that breastfeeding did not go as planned (and it did not for me), but I’d just assumed that the free stuff I’d gotten in the mail would suffice. I found that Hipp was much gentler for the baby to digest, smelled far less offensive, and did not stain as easily. It also has far less artificial ingredients. I like ordering from A New York Baby because it’s a small business and they ship REALLY FAST. I’ll be buying a canister of this FOR SURE.

+Aden + Anais burp cloths and swaddles. We still have a bunch of these, but they’re all in pale pink girly prints. I really like those burpy bibs because they fit around the crook of your neck, are SUPER thick, and can also be used as a bib for baby (the snap in the back enables you to clip it around baby’s neck). I honestly still use these burp cloths all the time for wiping up small spills, cleaning noses and hands, wiping mini’s face, etc. I’m rarely without one. We also always preferred cloth swaddles to any of the “swaddle contraptions” with velcros, zippers, etc. Mr. Magpie and I were both very good at swaddling after the nurses showed us how in the hospital, and mini stayed in a cloth swaddle until maybe five months of age. The Aden & Anais ones are the right size and shape — you’ll find a lot of “swaddles” that are too small or in an oblong shape that does not work for swaddling the traditional way.

+Babyzen Nuna Pipa adapters. I was pretty jazzed to find that you can now clip the Nuna Pipa right into the Babyzen. This will make traveling by car a breeze.

+Little Giraffe baby blanket. We have one of these for mini in pink and she sleeps with it every nap and bed time. Super soft. Also, I’m pretty sure all of my siblings and I had similar-looking baby blankets with the wide satin trim and they make me feel nostalgic.

+Changing pad covers. Also this one. Most of mini’s are in pink…

+Sleep Sheep. Mini still sleeps with hers on. I love this travel model because it can be velcroed onto anything — a crib, a bassinet, a stroller, a carseat, etc. I’m debating whether or not to just move mini’s sleep sheep out of her nursery and affix it to micro’s crib and buy this Hatch baby sound machine for her room now that she’s older and it can double as an “OK to wake” clock, as we are planning to transition mini out of her crib in the next six months.

+Nose bulbs. I could never get behind the Nose Frieda. Call me squeamish and old-school, but so it is. I was actually pretty adept at using these bulbs (it takes practice and a flick of the wrist) with mini so I’ll stick with what I know…

+Changing pad liners. These are clutch early on for an extra layer of protection while changing diapers. Also, much easier to toss this into the hamper versus changing the entire pad cover.

+Munchkin Diaper Bag dispenser. Trust me, never go anywhere without one of these.

+Mrs. Meyers Baby Detergent. We now wash mini’s clothes with our own (and have for some time). I’m excited to wash and fold all of micro’s layette with baby detergent!

P.S. You can find all of my favorite baby gear — all of the stuff we already have and own! — here.

Shop Le Post.

By: Jen Shoop

I am now Mr. Magpie’s part-time barber. He buzzed his head on January 1st — new year, new look — and his new (and handsome) ‘do requires biweekly maintenance. As he sat on a stool in the shower while I ran the electric clippers over his head, I felt an unexpected surge of fierce possessiveness. We have been married for a long time and yet still there are privacies between us. I will not trim my nails or tweeze my brows in front of him. He is blessedly demure about phlegm and other sounds and emissions of the common garden male variety. And so there are still moments where I feel as though I am opening a door to a new level of intimacy, in all of its savage abandon. On this particular occasion, as I shaved his head for him, I felt a primal sense of marital ownership: he is mine, and I will preen him and tend to him until the ends of the earth.

Do you feel this way too, Magpies, when you are engaged in the tenderest and most personal acts of care for a loved one?

I have perhaps been thinking a lot about this as I prepare for childbirth and anticipate the many indignities that come with it. Well — indignities is a loaded and unfair word, as childbirth is natural and we should not feel shamed for its collateral, but let me speak honestly and say that I could do without my husband or mother having to pick up a pad the size of Texas off the bathroom floor for me, as happened while I was recovering from my first c-section. And I have further been marinating on this theme as our home succumbed to a bad cold and I have been applying Vicks and replenishing humidifiers and doling out medicine around the clock for both mini and Mr. Add to this the fact that I have been attempting to potty train mini while tending to the minor health condition of a loved one that has required humbling hands-on care and also preparing for the arrival of a helpless, care-hungry newborn and — yes. I have been thinking a lot about the emotional terrain of caring for another.

In these moments, I feel overwhelmed with love and connected-ness, even when they are not particularly glamorous or pleasant. I am moved by the opportunity to wordlessly demonstrate the depth of my affection, often steeling myself from emotion and adopting a kind of shrugging “of course I’ll do this” posture — something I learned from my mother, who will replace a bloodied bandaid or rub an aching foot without so much as batting an eye. A girlfriend of mine called this “mom strength” a long time ago, when we were traveling through France by train together, and we agonized over the bizarre and moving proximity of a small and unkempt cemetery next to a burnt-out looking train station on our way to Annecy. I was haunted by the image; I must have brought it up half a dozen times that afternoon. Something about the modest bouquet of wilted daisies on a grave not far from the rough and surly industry of the train station left me weepy. At some point, she commented: “Some days I can’t wait until the days of mom strength, when you can look at that kind of thing and not be bothered by it.” I knew what she meant — my mom is loving and warm but also tough as nails. I think back to when I had surgery at the age of seven and I never saw anything but an encouraging smile on her face, even though she must have been horrified. She has seen things, endured grief and agony and pain at the hands of her five children and her six siblings and her two parents and her countless loved ones and come through to the other side with a kind of all-knowing endurance.

I have not achieved true mom strength yet, but I find myself increasingly capable of attending to minor and major caregiving opportunities without my emotions getting in the way, calmly welcoming new intimacies in all of their savage abandon.

*This phrase — “intimacy, in all its savage abandon” — was lifted wholesale from the beautiful film Colette; more musings on this worthwhile movie here.

Post Scripts: Fruit Prints, Sale Scores, + Cosmetics.

+I got eyelash extensions in December for the holidays. God do I love them but they absolutely destroy my natural lashes. I don’t trust anyone who says otherwise — or maybe I just have weak lashes? But I can only do them like once a year. I have been a long-time devotee of DiorShow, but I’m testing IT Cosmetics’ Superhero volumizing mascara after a girlfriend raved about it. And I have to say, her lashes looked incredible. Stay tuned!

+I’m starting to fret about what to do for mini’s second birthday in March. Our apartment is simply too small to host a bunch of rambunctious toddlers, and I had no idea how expensive and involved it is to rent out a play space for the occasion! It seems tedious to me to have to schlep decor and treats and gifts to a new spot when you only have two hours for the whole thing to begin with. I’m completely at a loss as to what to do. That said — check out the adorable party gear here. I’m loving this strawberry motif and this lemon one! Maybe I could do a little fruit-themed situation — mini’s favorite snack. (At a recent playdate, my friend was shocked when mini dominated an entire cereal bowl (<<she has this Juliska pattern and I envy it something fierce every time I see it) full of strawberries and grapes instead of the neighboring one of cheez-its. I don’t mean to sound virtuous here; the girl just loves anything sweet! She’ll just as readily finish an entire bowl of bunny grahams.)

+Speaking of fruit — love these clementine-print jammies (on sale!), these undies, and, of course, this darling dress (you can twin with your mini in this!)

+These python mules from my favorite footwear designer are A STEAL RIGHT NOW.

+A huge, oversized scarf. I love throwing this kind of thing on with my go-to jeans and sweaters to finish a look, especially with this Sandro-lookalike sweater ($39!)

+Cool decor for a boy’s room or a rec room. They’d look incredible mounted on a wall!

+These boots are so cute for a toddler — love the bows. Mini has worn Donsje animal booties for the last two years, and they are so well-constructed and snuggly, but she’s now in the very biggest size for toddler feet and can barely fit into them. I’ll need another snuggly option for next winter season; I have to say those bow bedecked Uggs are probably it!

+Speaking of bows and pink, I love this heavily discounted romper for mini and this shift dress (bump-friendly) for me!

+They still had this jumper on sale in mini’s size! Win, especially paired with a cute floral blouse like this.

+I’m also tempted to buy her this sherpa sweatshirt (a few sizes up from current size) for winters to come as it’s marked WAY down right now.

+Mini has gotten a lot of use out of this Patagonia fleece this winter. The brand is worth the expense, IMHO, because it washes very well, is extremely warm, and holds up. Definitely worth hanging on to / passing down to future siblings and cousins. My eyes are peeled for impending winter sales; I want to stock up on Patagonia fleeces in sizes up and down for both mini and micro!

+With the current promo, this sweet fair-isle sweater (love the palette) is like $35! Also loving this puff-sleeved sweater, now 40% off, especially paired with those Agolde jeans I’ve been dying over! Such a cool texture.

+These mules are SO FUN. And also heavily discounted!

+These would be such a great piece for me right now — I could get one with Mr. Magpie’s initial, one with mini’s initial, and one with micro’s initial. ($198 for set of 3!)

+My mom has a set of vintage copper jars like these that she uses to stow flour, sugars, etc. LOVE. So pretty on the countertop!

Shop Le Post.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Le Hair Accessory.

It started with my headband obsession, and suddenly I found myself drawn to scrunchies, if you can believe it. (Get the look for less with these or these; if you’re ambivalent about the look in, er, “civilian clothes,” consider pairing them with your workout lewk for a little pep in your step). But then I’ve started seeing barettes on street style starlets and I have to say, I NEED ME SOME OF THESE. I especially love the looks below and above. Get the pearl look with these or these or this ($3!?), the Gucci look with this, and a dramatic bow statement look with this or this.

Shop Les Hair Accessories.

You’re Sooooo Popular: Chic Shades.

+Seriously stylish shades.

+AllSaints jacket — I featured this a long while ago but a lot of readers have been digging through my archives, which makes me very happy!

+I used these to organize all of my samples and excess makeup in a big tupperware bin during my Marie Kondo cleanout.

+My favorite leopard dress (works with a bump!)

+A great basic.

+A crop tweed jacket with BOWS. Did I mention that it’s under $60?

+I wore this all summer long.

+Cheery running shoes.

#Turbothot: Thank You, Coffee Is on Me, and That Is All.

This is my 100th weekend vibes post. 100 Saturday mornings we’ve spent together! Nearly two years of turbothots! I always get a kick imagining so many of us musing over the same trivial and nontrivial concepts on weekend mornings, from rants about mansplaining to wise words from my father, and everything in between (ahem, eagerness as a virtue and unreliable female narrators).

And I wanted to say thank you! I anxiously await your insights, reactions, and provocations every Saturday morning. You have made me a more critical thinker and a more empathetic writer, though I still have a ways to go. (Remember when I had to redact a whole portion of a post that was written in poor taste? Thanks for keeping me in check.)

So today, coffee is on me for the first 10 or 15 Magpies to get themselves to Starbucks. Just pull up this screenshot and scan at Starbucks when you check out. Treat yourself! (My go to order is an iced soy latte. Grande when I’m feeling indulgent.)

#Shopaholic: The Crossover Knit Top.

+I am so into this crossover knit top. I’m curious whether it’d work while pregnant? It reminds me of Missoni and is pretty much exactly what I want to wear everyday while it’s so cold out!

+Love these sailor jeans paired with these snakeskin kitten heels.

+Such a cute swimsuit — under $40!

+How many basket bags does a gal need, you might ask? Erm, a lot. I want this one now.

+Have had my eye on one of these bow-embellished pieces from Roksanda for a long time, and now one’s at The Outnet…

+OK, this back/neck massager is getting ridiculous reviews…

+I have heard really good things about this broom for those who suffer from allergies and/or have a lot of pet hair to clean up. The dust/hair cling to the broom and easily wipe off into the trash versus staying tangled up in the straw bristles.

Shop Le Post.

By: Jen Shoop

Cosmetics rarely go on sale, and so I had to jump all over BlueMercury’s current promotion — 15% off orders over $100. This little windfall has empowered me to bag Dr. Barbara Sturm’s much-written-about “glow drop” serum, which, at a regular price of $145 was just a leeeetle steep, but at the discounted price of $123 seem plausible. (Don’t ask me — I’m not a pricing expert. There is certainly a psychology to these things.) I’m dying to give them a try. (Who doesn’t want to glow in the winter?)

I also used the opportunity to snag Chantecaille’s Tinted Moisturizer. I was highly skeptical of this product given the price tag and the slender size of the tube when compared to my go-to Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer. BUT. I am completely hooked. A makeup artist applied it for me the other day when I stopped in and I was impressed with three things about it: first, it offers slightly more coverage than Laura Mercier’s formula, which I honestly need right now; second, you use a lot less product than you do with Laura Mercier to cover your entire face (it’s just a thicker, more pigmented product); and third, I love the way it glides into my skin. I find that Laura Mercier’s can occasionally pool or lay on top of my skin; this feels like it blurs right into my pores, evening out everything without looking like I’m wearing anything but moisturizer. It’s incredible. I finally feel like I can actually just apply tinted moisturizer, mascara, and a dab of blush and head out the door. Anyway, having that extra 15% off brings the price down to $62, which feels a bit more palatable to me…

Because I was at the Chantecaille counter, I also tested out a few other products. I did not care for their concealer (not enough coverage) or cream blushes (could have been user error, but they came on super strong), but I loved their brow gel (very natural-looking, not stiff), their luster glide eye liner in the violet damask color (would never have thought to try dark purple, but the makeup artist insisted it would bring out the blue in my eyes, and she was right!), and ESPECIALLY their lip chic which I now where every single day. The formula is incredible. It’s sheer enough to apply without a mirror and it glides on kind of like a light lip balm with just enough pigment to make you look “finished.” I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE.

Other things not to miss:

+One of my all-time favorite beauty products. This powerglow peel is AMAZING if you’re in a pinch and looking a little drab and need a pick-me-up before a night out. I have given these to so many of my girlfriends and sisters!

+La Mer Moisturizing Cream. The O.G. I have been using this ever since my fall, trying to pull out every last trick in the bag to minimize the appearance of my scar. There is a “soft cream” version of this, but I find that I run through that in so little time that I feel flat-out guilty given the hefty price tag. This original moisturizing cream is thick — almost paste-like, to be honest — and I warm it between my fingers slightly before applying it. A tiny dab is sufficient for moisturizing your entire face, and it was originally designed for burn victims so you know it’s seriously packed with goodness. It is, to me, the absolute best investment you can make in the skincare world. It is thoroughly moisturizing and improves the tone of your skin.

+Chantecaille Rose de Mai face oil. I love this oil so very much. It’s light, moisturizing, and I feel about five years younger when I wear it regularly under my makeup. I usually only wear it in the winter time, when my skin is dry and in need of extra nourishment.

By: Jen Shoop

I have had so many friends text and email me for book recommendations in the past few weeks that I thought I’d share a list of frequent suggestions here. (I think a combination of new year’s resolutions and beach getaways may partially explain the influx of queries — ha!) I recognize that my book club picks are not for everyone and every occasion; I tend to skew towards heavier fare in pursuit of meaty discussion. So here are a range of recommendations for all kinds of palates and situations. Caveat emptor: I have not read all (or even most!) of these books; they have either been heavily recommended to me by people I trust, or are earning a lot of press and praise for one reason or another. And who doesn’t love a buzzed-about book? (P.S. — Loved your thoughts and insights on speed-reading. Do you do it?)

Thrillers: If you like Girl on a Train type books…

+The Other Woman by Sandie Jones.

+Watching You by Lisa Jewell.

+The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantin. This was all abuzz about a year ago and I still recommend it to folks looking for a thriller with a weird and wild twist. SO FUN. And also really gross. AND FUN.

+Rebecca by Daphne DuMaurier. An oldie but a goodie.

Frothy Beach Reads: If you liked The Royal We…(and who didn’t?)

+The Royal Runaway by Lindsay Emory.

+One Day in December by Josie Silver. (N.B.: I did read Silver’s book and found it sorely lacking in character design, plot depth, and especially quality dialogue. BUT. It did tick some boxes when it came to wanting an easy-to-read rom-com in book form. I could almost see Hugh Grant in some of the more cinematic moments of the book. If I’m being honest, it was fun to crawl into bed at 9 p.m. and read this vapid book.)

Cooking Memoirs: If you like Ruth Reichl and Molly Wizenberg…

+Home Cooking by Laurie Colwin.

+Blood, Bones, and Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton.

Page-Turning Non-Fiction/Autobiography: If you live for documentaries…

+Bad Blood by John Carreyrou. Completely absorbing and shocking. Reads easily. One of a few books I could NOT put down last year.

+Educated by Tara Westover.

+Becoming by Michelle Obama. Everyone I know is reading/raving about this book.

More Substantive Fiction: If You Liked Little Fires Everywhere…

+Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been asked whether I’ve read this yet.

+Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie.

+Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens.

+Exit West by Mohsin Hamid.

Canonical.

+Circe by Madeline Miller. One of my all-time favorite books.

Post-Scripts.

+My favorite beach reads…ever. To be accompanied by musings on highbrow versus lowbrow culture.

+10 books that will change your life.

+These are back in stock. Jump while you can, if you’re on the train.

+Thinking of ordering these for Valentine’s Day.

+Intrigued by these razors/blades after hearing about them on a Goop podcast. I like that they’re attempting to reduce the “pink tax,” i.e., the higher price on products when marketed toward women. How are Gillette women’s razor blades so, so expensive?

+This gown is the stuff of dreams.

+I really like the look of a boxy, logo-less hoodie these days, layered under a trench or wool coat, paired with chic pants, like these.

+Intermix is offering an extra 50% off select sale items and OMG — this Saloni blouse, these culotte jeans ($50?!?!), this pretty and nearly universally flattering polka dotted dress, and these polka-dotted slides ($60!!!)

+Love Tuckernuck’s inexpensive scarves. I own one in pink already and love tying it to handbags, using as a belt, or wrapping around my head as a a headband.

+Love this recipe book. Would be a thoughtful gift for a recent college grad or a burgeoning cook, filled with a couple of your favorite recipes.

+This wundertool just dropped to $43 and I am *thisclose* to ordering to see what all the fuss is about.

+My dream jeans right now. Love how they are styled on the site, with white slingbacks and a voluminous top. #postbabygoalz

Shop Le Post: Les Books.

Shop Le Post: Les Post-Scripts.

By: Jen Shoop

For a long while, I was in denial about the capacity of the washing and drying machines in Old Louise. They’re petite and stacked — not quite as small as the ones we had in the unit we shared after we were first married, which could hold about one pair of underwear and one washcloth per load, but nowhere near the capacious joy of the industrial-sized ones in my parents’ laundry room. For months, I would attempt to jam all of our sheeting and pillowcases and occasionally a spare towel or two into one load and would then grumble about the agony of disentangling and ironing them afterward. A few months ago, I finally came to terms with the fact that I was overloading the machines and needed to commit to a full day of laundering if I wanted to properly clean, dry, and iron my sheets.

I was thinking of this just yesterday, as I embarked on hour six of operation change-my-sheets, a weekly to biweekly (as in once every two weeks) occurrence chez Shoop, depending on the busyness of my schedule. It dawned on me that the simple practice of cleaning my sheets has become an all-day commitment (“can’t do it Tuesday, as I’ll be out most of the afternoon and don’t want the sheets sitting in sog for a few hours”), and I was startled to find that I wasn’t frustrated by this observation. I just nodded with a sensible kind of, “What are you going to do? If you want crisp sheets, this is the price you pay.”

You see, there are no shortcuts in life. Or so I have learned with time and maturity, through the opening and shuttering of a technology business and through the slow and steady evolution of this writing/blogging one. They say that it takes around 10,000 hours to become an expert in something, whether that something is playing an instrument or perfecting a golf swing or speaking another language. 10,000 hours. Anyone who promises you the easy way out, the 1,000 hour bypass, is selling something specious.

Sure, you could outsource the laundering. In fact, there’s an easy calculus to the value of my free time vs. the amount of time I spend ironing vs. the cost of having the dry cleaners downstairs handle it. But if it’s something I’m determined to do on my own, that I don’t half mind, well — I realized just yesterday that it’s not worth doing it all if I’m not going to do it the right way from the start.

And so I’m done with the notion of shortcuts.

And I’m over the word hack — especially when “life” is appended to the beginning of it.

And I’m finished with feeling guilty for not accomplishing something “big” every single day.

Instead, I’ve made peace over the past many months with the occasionally disappointing pragmatics of what can be achieved in a day, an amity that has proven to be one of the many unlikely and lovely gifts of motherhood. Some days my to-do list leaves me beaming with accomplishment. Other days, I’m relieved to have folded and put away a single load of laundry and successfully prepared three meals for mini. Lately, I’ve grown unbothered by these inequities in my day-to-day to-do lists and increasingly pleased with the general feeling of momentum I have established in my home. I think this is in part owing to the maturation of this pregnancy (over halfway there!) and the general feeling of mounting excitement for the future, and in part owing to the slow and final acceptance of my new and seemingly permanent roles in life: mother, homemaker, writer, wife.

About a year ago, I had lunch with a girlfriend downtown. She is in a committed relationship (but not married), deeply dedicated to her job, and with no immediate plans for children or pets. I couldn’t help but compare the ballasts of our lives: she was plotting upcoming extended travel abroad and important business meetings and I was probably pondering whether the next day was a suitable laundry day. She asked, unprovoked, how I was doing in that genuine way she has, her earnest eyes searching me for an honest and non-pat answer. I found myself faltering. I shared that some days I feel “less than” when asked what I do for a living. That other days I feel a biting sense of guilt when I nip out for the last hour of one of my nanny days to get a manicure and an afternoon latte, haunted by the thought that I should be doing something productive and work-related every hour I have the nanny on hand. And that still other days I relish my role as a mother and homemaker and can’t imagine spending half my week doing anything else. I then bristled at my self-absorption: I am aware of the insane privilege of having the opportunity to choose what I want to do, of finding a passion-come-profession that meshes well with motherhood, of having the financial resources to have a part-time nanny and enjoy an afternoon manicure and a latte to begin with.

That shuttlecock of guilt and uneasiness and self-shaming has all but disappeared in the past many months. I wrote late last year that I’ve never been so at peace in my life, and while I’m not sure where this calm has come from — whether it is age or the fading of painful memories or the confidence that parenthood has afforded or simply the inevitable comfort (complacency?) that comes with doing anything for a sustained amount of time — I find it much easier to shrug off the occasional flare of embarrassment I experience when someone asks “Where do you work?”, to pat myself on the back at night even when the only checked-off to-do items were routine chores around the house, to tell myself: “You are enough.”

And I can tell you this: there were no shortcuts involved in this evolution.

Post-Scripts.

+I had some girlfriends over for Monday to watch The Bachelor and I made these (along with several snack recipes from this cookbook, my go-to for fun recipes for events like the Super Bowl) and they were INSANE.

+Looking for bump-friendly exercise gear as I went for my annual physical and the doctor politely nudged me into getting into a more formal exercise routine. (“What do you do for exercise?” “Um, I chase a toddler and walk around Manhattan.”) I promptly signed up for pre-natal yoga and went on the hunt for maternity-friendly exercise gear. This tunic-length sweatshirt (sized up) looks promising, and I just ordered these.

+Such a great neutral rug, and on super sale. Adds great texture/volume to a room!

+Jumping on the bandwagon with these…so adorable!

+It took me awhile to accept the return of the scrunchie, but I saw a chic gal at my nail salon wearing a scrunchie, a boxy neutral-colored sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and some GG sneaks, and she looked so on-point for a quick errand run. I want these.

+Currently in my cart: this linen maxi, this polka dotted midi (both for our summer vacation in Italy — I believe both are friendly for nursing moms!) and these boots (found them for $75!)

+I dream of this bag.

+I was so sad to hear of the brilliant poet and writer Mary Oliver’s passing. So oddly timed that I would have written about one of her poems (<<a must read) just over a month ago.

+A great H&M steal if you’re into my oversized headband lewk.

+All of the sudden, I outgrew all of my bras (#pregnantmomproblems). I don’t know what I did last time around because I don’t recall buying any different/new sizes. I think I just made do and/or wore sports bras? But anyway, I decided to treat myself to my favorite bra in a larger size in the prettiest shade of pink and a couple of these uber-comfortable CKs in the cutest patterns, on sale for only $11/pop!!! I got the pale pink, a polka dot, and a stripe.

+This is my favorite maternity shirt. Found it on sale for $19 in select sizes here.

+Into metallics right now. Love these for mini (on super sale) and these for me (also on super sale).

+Just added this to my next Amazon order — read the reviews!

+Would love to wear these post-baby.

+This post may in part inform my allergy to speed reading.

Shop Le Post.

By: Jen Shoop

We’re heading to FL in February, and it’s been fun planning mini’s warm-weather wardrobe (and imagining what micro might wear). A few of my favorite finds below:

+I finally broke and went crazy on the La Coqueta sale now that prices are up to 60% off. I had to have this gingham dress in particular, which will be coming with us to Naples.

+Also have this packed for her.

+I love these sandals for mini (water-resistant).

+This or this are the kinds of rompers I imagine micro to wear all the time.

+This for mini, and this for her little brother. (Though I already have this one in the pink, I also love it in the blue and the ditsy floral…)

+The perfect traveling day tote. I’d keep the kiddos’ stuff separate in individual wet/dry pouches with their respective items.

+Can’t say no to a petal collar…

+Does mini need her own suitcase??? Also — one of my favorite secrets to traveling with mini.

+Have never ordered from here, but love this suit for mini and these for baby boy. There’s even one that fits a dollbaby!

+Big bows, all the time.

+Swooning over this dress. Would love to twin with mini in it!

+These trunks for micro (the ultimate in chic boy swimwear) and these for Mr. Magpie.

+I ordered one of these monogrammed puddle jumpers for mini!

+Classic — currently marked down to $8!

+Duh.

+La vie en rose!

+These are my favorite towels for mini in the summer. Super compact/lightweight so I can stow in my diaper bag on the off chance we wind up at the splash pad.

+OMG. Does mini need this waterbaby?

+THESE LOAFERS THOUGH.

+Genius travel high chair solution.

Shop Le Post: Girls.

Shop Le Post: Boys.

Post Scripts.

+Golden moments / golden hours. Hoping to soak up a few on this trip — likely our last as parents to ONE!

+Valentine’s Day is sneaking up on us…

+I’ve had a flurry of emails asking for gift ideas for moms/girlfriends/sisters, and thought I’d share a couple of good roundups: gifts for girlfriends, gifts for moms, and gifts for every occasion. A couple of other of-the-moment gifts: a Lele Sadoughi headband for the fashion-forward, a high-end ballpoint pen (<<Mr. Magpie bought me one of these and I LOVE IT and carry it with me everywhere) and/or a personalized Smythson notebook to celebrate a promotion, a vintage Herend animal in a special shape (i.e., one of my friends collects elephants), a framed matchbook print from a place of mutual special meaning to you (i.e., bachelorette party memories!), and — for a beauty/hair enthusiast, one of these tools (read the reviews!!!)

By: Jen Shoop

Happy birthday to my beloved Mr. Magpie.

You turn 37 today and you are not happy about it, but but but —

I look at you and I see the life we have built together with all of its nasty, crooked jags and its tender, fortunate mercies. I see in your eyes the weight and joy of recent years, borne equally.

Of the many things I love about you (and there are so, so many), lately, I have found myself leaning particularly intensively on your uncanny ability to simplify things. You look at a problem and see only solutions. You do not permit yourself to wallow in the agonies of indecision or woe-is-me or why-is-this-happening for long. Instead, you assess and move swiftly toward resolution. You’re not into funny business or sleight of hand or roundabout curlicues; you are straight-forward, direct, your reasoning abilities razor sharp, your moral compass better tuned than the engine of a sports car.

I envy the simplicity with which you live your life, and I draft off of its elegance. When I come to you with a concern or an aspiration or an observation, your calm, logical energy makes me feel at once in good hands and eminently capable myself.

Thank you for cutting such a handsome shape, in this arena and across countless others.

Onward we go, full throttle.

P.S. I still feel all the jitters when I think about seeing you in Lyon when we were just babies.

P.P.S. “Half of me sees the smile wrinkles in the corners of your eyes, the graying hair, the distinguished look you’ve cultivated with age — physical reminders of the very full, though not without struggle, life we’ve lived thus far together — and the other half sees the boy in the olive green shirt that brought out the hazel of his eyes when we were just kids.” More on how much I love you here.

P.P.P.S. Some of my innermost fears about remaining interesting to you have long since been disproven, THANK GOD.

Mr. Magpie’s Birthday Loot.

We don’t always go big for holidays/birthdays — sometimes it’s a smallish affair and other times we go all out. It was a go-all-out kind of year for him. He worked hard this year — professionally and personally — and I am so proud of him. In addition to burgers at Minetta Tavern to mark the occasion, I also snagged the following gifts:

+Inspired by the TV show Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, I bought him this fancy soy sauce (he loves sushi and I think this will bring the experience to a new level) and this high-end seaweed salt, which people go nuts over (and is featured on the show).

+He was in need of some new cooking inspiration and so I gave him not only the Prune cookbook (we both loved the restaurant here in NY) but this well-reviewed vegetable cookbook, too. (The latter won a James Beard award, which is kind of a big deal.)

+While in Charlottesville for our little two-day trip, Mr. Magpie enjoyed his fair share of cocktails. He’s into old school ones like the Bijou, the Aviation, the Vieux Carre, and the Last Word. He mixes a lot of old-fashioneds at home and it dawned on me, while watching the bartenders mix drinks, that while we have a pretty elaborate set of barware utensils, Mr. Magpie does not have a proper cocktail pitcher and tends to mix his in a shaker (even when it’s a stirred cocktail). I ordered him one of these along with this highly well-reviewed “vintage cocktail” book (he already has a few in his library, but Garden & Gun raved about this particular one).

+Not truly a birthday gift, but Mr. Magpie recently cut his hair really short — “like Matt Lauer, if Matt Lauer weren’t a perv” is how I’ve been describing it. I love it on him; he looks younger and more athletic. He’d been debating it for nearly two years and then, on New Year’s Day, he announced that it was his new year’s resolution, went downtown to a barber, and cut it all off. I was so proud of him. It takes big guts for a dude to buzz his head. Anyway, I’ve now become his personal barberette (?). We bought this (again, very well-reviewed) to keep his short hair on point every two or three weeks.

+Mr. Magpie lives in his J. Brand Kane jeans. They are slim-cut but not skinny; Mr. Magpie is not a skinny jean kind of guy. They hold up ultra-well in the wash and with the hard way in which men wear all clothes. So a new pair were in order.

+Mr. Magpie’s big gift was a Canada Goose Langford coat. I should have bought him one back when we lived in the arctic midwest, but it’s been chilly in these parts, too. I don’t care if everyone and their mother owns a Canada Goose — it’s with good reason. These coats are the warmest, best-made parkas known to man. Sometimes I see him head out the door when it’s 22 degrees outside in just his Barbour coat and I think, “Oh hell no!” This solves the problem.

+These cool Vejas.

+A couple of other things I’d considered for him: this Polo sweater (sold out in his size), these Vejas (but I didn’t think I could convince him to go high-top), and a cashmere beanie in happy red.

Shop Le Post.

By: Jen Shoop

On my way to meet up with a friend a few weeks ago, I found myself involved in a curious kind of internal pep talk.

“Just be yourself,” I said. “Don’t fill the void with the vapid. If there’s a lull, let it hang. Stick to your guns; be yourself. You don’t need to be agreeable to be agreeable.”

As I raced off, I realized that maybe — just maybe — I had outgrown the friendship a little bit. Or that we were a mismatch for one another at this stage in our life. Or that she had changed and I had not, or vice versa, and there was a bizarre kind of gap forming in which our friendship had gone from easy-to-navigate to a bit tempestuous.

You see, I have found our conversations strained lately. Perhaps (hopefully?) not perceptibly to her, I find myself hopscotching to avoid certain topics that we do not see eye to eye on and that frankly drain me. And I’m not referring to meaty topics in which critical debate is educative; this is not a case where I only want to hear what I want to hear. Rather, I find her interests and observations so thoroughly different from my own that I find myself repeating small meaningless affirmatives in the absence of returning anything substantive: “Oh wow, that’s great. Great. Oh interesting. Hm. Oh. Interesting. Oh wow.” Vapid volley that leaves me yearning for stimulation elsewhere.

I’m not talking about a bad friendship, by the way — one that needs to be broken up or abandoned because it is too damaging. (And I have thoughts on that, too.) I’m talking about a friendship where I catch myself performing its intimacies and find myself more depleted than fulfilled.

But then I second-guessed myself. Relationships are not always breezy little jaunts. You wear your heart on your sleeve and so it is bound to get bruised and prodded and strained from time to time. You grow and change and she grows and changes and so too does your relationship, and sometimes you need to afford it the space to let it become what it becomes. Maybe we are in the midst of an evolution into a different kind of relationship, one whose meetings are fewer and further between and only of a certain sort. And that’s fine, too.

What’s more: when you care about someone, you hang in.

What do you think, magpies? Have you ever found yourself engaging in personal pep talks before meeting up with a friend? Is this healthy or non-healthy? What’s the prognosis for this friendship?

Post-Scripts: Things I Love from Amazon.

Below, thought I’d share some of my favorite recent Amazon finds, many of which I’ve featured in the past. These are RLY good finds.

+These pillows have improved sleep in our home. I used to find myself waking up to flip and fluff my pillow 2-3 times a night. These hold their shape well and do not get hot (?!?!?!?)

+Mini loves her broom/mop set, and I love that it’s not a plastic eyesore and that it’s modeling the art of cleaning up! (Also, it stores upright and therefore takes up virtually no space in our apartment. #manhattanproblems)

+I was like 23 years late to the micellar water game, but now I’m a lifelong convert. I like Bioderma’s — it’s gentle, affordable, and effective.

+An affordable, machine-washable kitchen rug. I toss it in the laundry along with dish towels every few days. (Around the same time I put my sponge through the dishwasher.)

+This was a must-have solution for the tangle of cords at my bedside: one for the monitor, one for the Kindle charger, one for the lamp, one for the iPhone charger, and — recently — one for the humidifier. (People are very polarized by humidifiers, I have come to learn, but I love mine and think it has helped in these dry winter months, and especially as I’ve gotten over the hump of a nasty cold.) I like the cube power strip because it has such a tiny footprint, is easy to access, and is a little less unsightly than a traditional strip, but I will say I wish it had a little more heft to it, as it will tip over unless I have positioned it carefully, which irks me.

+These are the best forks for mini right now. Super cheap and super durable and they actually enable her to spear her food. A lot of the other brands I’ve tried (Skip Hop, etc) just act like spoons.

+Super soft, super cheap, super cute gingham crib sheets.

+This is how I keep mini’s hair tidy.

+I have a stash of different Scout bags in different shapes and sizes and find they come in endless handy — whether tossed into a suitcase to serve as a makeshift tote for carrying things to the pool or stowing laundry or toys, as a slightly nicer way of toting snacks/food to a gathering, as a temporary receptacle for things to donate/take down to the storage unit/organize for storage.

+My favorite water bottle for mini. Ultra-durable, super cute patterns, do not spill, and hold a lot of water. Great for taking out with us on adventures around the city.

+I blanch to think how many bumps and tumbles this has prevented in mini’s life.

+The easiest way to lure mini into her bath when she’s not having any of it. Me: “Do you want to put color in the water?” Her: [Pause. Then dropping of toys and padding of feet.] SHE LOVES THEM. I let her pick out two tablets each bath time and it’s magic for her. My only question: why God why did they make a yellow color, so that bathwater looks like urine?!

+If I sing their praises one more time, y’all might kill me, but these keep every drawer and medicine cabinet shelf in our home immaculate.

+One of only a handful of things I have auto-shipped to me at the end of every month. These are THE BEST GLOVES for dishwashing.

+As every mom knows, these are the best shoes for summertime in the city. Mini can wear them in splashpads and puddles and look just as chic with them in a little dress.

+My bar is never without fun cocktail napkins. Currently loving these, a nod to magpies 🙂

+Cannot rave enough about this ultra-lightweight, fluid sunscreen. When it arrived, I was shocked at how small the bottle was, but a little bit lasts a long time AND WORKS. It glides on underneath makeup and never leaves a residue.

+Gifted Mr. Magpie a set of these produce bags in his stocking and love them. Much better for storing produce than in those non-breathable plastic bags you get at the grocery and better for the environment. Can be tossed in the laundry! I really like how they keep our produce drawer tidy and easy to navigate. “I want an apple — just look for the bag with the red cord.” Genius!

+Dorkily into the seasonal scents from Mrs. Meyers.

+Mini loves these letter and shape puzzles! Such a great way to introduce spelling to her at a young age.

+We use this mat all the time in our house. A great stress reliever and solid at working out knots/aching bones.

+Just discovered that Windex comes in wipe form and and and they make me SO HAPPY. We have mirrored side tables in our bedroom and I’m constantly telling myself “go get the windex and clean them down!” and then getting distracted. Now I keep these in my bedside table and wipe them down the minute I think of it. It’s a great day to be alive, people.

+Inexpensive and super sweet ballet skirts for toddlers.

+A fun pouch for your personals. Note that the largest size does not fit a 15″ Macbook despite the promises in the notes. But it’s all good.

+More Amazon finds and my favorite buys of 2018.

+Still learning from this experience (even over a month out — it was an interesting test in humility to get used to wearing the scar without a steri-strip on it) and leaning into prayer lately.

Shop Le Post.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: The Hatch Maternity Dress.

I have never ordered any maternity clothing from Hatch, though it’s been abuzz for a long time. I always presumed it was for tall, willowy types who could pull off the voluminous slouch of the label’s styling. But when this Sylvie dress (seen above, worn by the founder of Hatch) went on sale just in time for our vacation next month, I jumped on it. And now I’m down a dark hole and also have this and these in my cart, figuring I’ll get decent use out of warmer weather maternity clothing given that I’m delivering in late May and will need to wear pregnancy clothes for the month or so following. (And the genius of this label is that most of their pieces work while nursing, too!) I also love this maxi dress in the bisque color — it may be the only full-price article of maternity clothing I buy this go around. P.S. — If you’re also expecting/have just recent delivered, two other solid sources for maternity-wear: ASOS for inexpensive, trendy pieces when you’re desperate to get out of leggings and long striped tees (my uniform) — love this — and Shop Buru, which specializes in selecting clothes that are nursing friendly (you can sort all of their pieces by “easy access” for just this reason). I love this marigold number.

You’re Sooooo Popular: Le Stepstool.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

+This ultra chic stepstool. My bestie put hers in her shower because she doesn’t have anywhere to rest her leg while shaving. I bought mine to help mini access the toilet. But there are literally countless ways to use this stylish stepstool, which is such a step up — ehhhh?! get it?!? — in a kitchen or pantry for easier access to tall items, in a closet, at bedside when recovery from a c-section…

+Super stylish, minimalist white sneakers. Basically the grown-up and sophisticated version of Golden Goose sneakers.

+Heavily-discounted velvet mules for a winter affair. (People claim these are SO comfortable.)

+An affordable scallop-trim blouse to wear with everything. These are the kinds of basics I can get behind: a straight-forward white button down, but with a little interest at the trim.

+A chic and affordable iPhone case!

+Hygge, in sweater form.

+My secret organizational weapon when traveling. Planning on ordering another set for baby boy in a different colorway. Will be so convenient to have a green set for him and a pink set for mini to make their belongings easy to find.

+A timeless basic that goes with everything you own.

#Turbothot: Speed Reading.

After finishing this meaty, worthwhile, and thoroughly depressing novel, I returned to Nine Perfect Strangers by the author of Big Little Lies. I enjoyed the first 70% or so of the book — especially the segments written in Frances’ voice, which I took to be a semi-autobiographical casting of the author herself — but the ending of the book is…a train wreck. I had written previously that Moriarty is one of the few “chick lit” writers who operates in a different stratosphere when it comes to the substance and craft of her work. The ending of this book proved me sadly wrong. I find that most good writers do more showing than telling, but the final third of her book is more or less a poorly written list of happenings designed to hastily tie up loose ends, with no art or passably interesting writing to be found. It is as though she handed off the book to her eighteen year old niece and told her to “finish things up neatly.” Ahh! I found myself speed reading to get to the finish-line, as I was around 80% through and determined to finish it in a thirty minute stretch before bed the other week.

Do you ever speed read?

My grandmother was trained as a speed reader; she actually took a class on the topic. And there’s a well-visited article that purports to teach you how to “read 300% faster in just 20 minutes.” I can imagine it might be useful if you are reading for trade or academia and don’t need to be particularly well-versed in the minutaie of an article but want to speak appreciably well about its thrust.

But most of the time, I return to the old-guard rejoinder I used to issue to my students, back when I was a teaching assistant: “Good readers are slow readers.” Because it’s true. The linked article above talks about “regression” (consciously re-reading portions of a book) and “back-skipping” (returning to a previous spot because you’ve lost your concentration in the intervening paragraphs) as though they are bad things, but I always extolled the virtues of these happenings to my students: when you are reading slowly and deliberately, you are attending to every nuance in the book. You are a more active agent in the construction of meaning. (And you tend to make better-situated observations.)

That said, there are times and places that call for speed-reading — i.e., when you are 3/4ths of the way through a book and it just feels wrong not to finish it in its entirety. But I realized the other day that I’ve developed an informal rubric around deciding whether or not I will put a book down: if I’m leaning towards speed-reading within the first fourth of the book, I’m going to cut bait.

What about you?

#Shopaholic: Les Travel Cups.

+How adorable are these for some sort of outdoor festivity involving hot beverages — for coffee at a a breakfast before a fundraising walk/run, for mulled wine at a potluck with the neighbors, for hot tea for all the parents at a kid’s soccer match?

+In love with the oversized bows on these tootsies.

+Hoping this dress ($70!) works with my pregnant figure!

+Love the oversized gingham on this nursing pillow cover.

+Drawn to the reasonable price on these chic minimalist vases. Would make for a good housewarming gift with a bunch of hydrangea!

+Super chic footwear for a baby boy.

+Love the pattern on this catch-all basket — perfect for an entryway for depositing keys and the like.

+Love this mismatched pattern blouse in the blue! Looks like SEA or Ulla.

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By: Jen Shoop

Three random shopping agenda items to discuss aujourd’hui:

Un. My sisters are throwing me a “sprinkle” for micro in a few months and I am so excited. I am itching to pull the trigger on this Emilia Wickstead dress, which, I have on good authority having seen it on a celebrity bump or two, is pregnancy-friendly owing to the elasticized waist situation. The genius is that it can also be worn with panache post-pregnancy, as evidenced by the snap of none other than HRH LSD above. My only hang-up is that the shower will be in late March and that I will therefore be really pushing the boundaries on what’s acceptable season-wise. But…! I love! I’m torn between this print and this one. Alternately, I have long had my eye on this Lisa Marie Fernandez tiered beauty (<<now on sale!) as the perfect Charlotte York-esque maternity dress, but again — seasonality is a bit of an issue. I may buy this inexpensive dress as a back-up and fancy it up with some statement shoes and my pearl headband?…

Deux. My chic girlfriend Jen came over for a playdate with her precious baby the other day and she was wearing these incredible fur-trim boots. I immediately assumed they were Stuart Weitzman and complimented her on them. “Oh these? They were like $40.” (My eyes bulged out of my head. Sorry to blow your spot, Jen.) Turns out they are these beauties and they are currently on sale for $39! What! (They look way more expensive than that!) I am also loving these See x Chloes and these gray fur ones by Sam Edelman. If you like the look but not the “clunk” so much, check out these refined ones (on super sale) by Kate Spade. I like them with skinny jeans and a chunky knit like this, this, or this.

Trois. Sorry to beat you over the head with this, but I am in LOVE with this Pam Munson tote in the pink!

Post Scripts.

+ I cannot overstate how flattering this particular cut of dress is (it makes me feel like a long, lean goddess) — and the dress is now marked WAY down. Love the print!

+What are your beauty tricks of the trade?

+These are so well-priced as to make me suspicious of their authenticity. LOVE THEM.

+My favorite running shoes, marked down in select sizes to $26 — and in such a fun color!

+How cool are these matchbox prints?!

+Motherhood miscellany.

+Love the print (and price tag) on this sundress.

+This in the pretty blush pink has turned my head.

+A pretty and far less expensive alternative to this sweet fair-isle I’ve been eyeing from LoveShackFancy. (Also, LSF has marked down a couple of version of their pastel sweaters, like this one!)

+Fresh duds for the new year.

+About as sophisticated as you can get when it comes to toddler dining.

+Can’t believe the price on this chic cropped bow-bedecked jacket!

Shop the Post Scripts.

By: Jen Shoop

Like everyone else on the planet, and at the urgent suggestion of my friend Mackenzie, who came over for dinner with her smart and kind husband two weeks ago and informed me that everything in my apartment appeared to “spark joy” (YES!), I’ve been watching the new Netflix series on cleaning and organization expert Marie Kondo. The editing/production of the show is horrible in my opinion — they repeat segments too often and don’t show enough of Marie Kondo in action. (And she is ELECTRIC! I love her! What a doll!) I also can’t figure why they tend to only show lessons 1 and 4 without featuring (even in a montage-type view) 2, 3, and 5? Or why they don’t say at the outset: “In this episode, we’re focusing mainly on lessons 1 and 4.” (But then why do they focus on 1 and 4 in all of the episodes?) It’s confusing to me. The redundancy of the show is bizarrely irritating to me, especially when House Hunters and Queer Eye are pretty much the same show over and over with mild differences and yet I can watch dozens of those without batting an eye.

But.

Quibbles aside, of course I enjoy the show. Marie is a gem, and I’ve picked up more than my fair share of tips, including (importantly) her observation that including children in the folding of laundry and the tidying of the home is important. She notes that her children get excited about the prospect of cleaning because she gets excited about it. How true this is; when I make a big deal of something in front of mini, her little face lights up and she makes this funny little Santa-like chortle: “ho ho ho ho ho ho he he he he he.” And I do like organizing. And I do spend a monstrous portion of my day tidying. In the first episode, a mother illustrates just how difficult it is to get the basics of housekeeping done with two little ones at her heels. And I hear that. I am finding it especially difficult to quickly tidy the kitchen and dining room table after meals because mini always wants to play with me then, and she has this heartbreaking way of following me into the kitchen, taking my hand, and telling me: “Come.” Then she marches over to the play area and tells me, “Sit.” And sometimes she pats the sofa or the stool with emphasis to ensure I know what she means. And then she wants to “cook” for me (usually coffee, noodles, or oatmeal, which she curiously calls “oat-note”), or lean on my legs idly until she figures out what interests her, or hurl a book at my foot. And it is hard not to say, “Well, the dishes can wait.”

But I am also one of those type A people for whom dishes-in-the-sink is something akin to leaving-the-front-door-wide-open-with-the-keys-in-it. I just feel exposed, incomplete without standing up and closing the door (er, cleaning those dishes). And so I am thinking now I might start bringing mini in to “clean the dishes” with me, whether just with a small bowl of water and a little soap and sponge for her, or something like this.

Another thing that stood out to me while watching this show is just how many marital/domestic disputes and grievances take shape over the topics of laundry, organization, and cleaning at home. These have always seemed like such frivolous things to argue about, but but but — this show makes me realize how tied they are to so much else in our lives: to our ways of thinking, to our emotional wellbeing, to our relationships. How we organize (or don’t organize) our homes and what we surround ourselves with shape our experiences of life. And so often these things are afterthoughts — “oh, I’ll just shove this here for now” or “eh, that closet can wait” and “we’ll just let the dishes soak.” In and of themselves, these decisions or non-decisions seem trivial, but they are linked, and deeply, to who we are and what we feel about ourselves and our lives. Wow! These are not topics to be taken lightly after all.

I encourage you to watch this show with your significant other — it’s brought up many juicy conversation points between Mr. Magpie and I.

It’s also made me realize we are in pretty good shape: everything has it’s home in our house, and we really hung onto very little that we did not need when we downsized from our Chicago home to our New York one. I have been fairly ruthless in shedding the surplus in the months intervening. There are truly only three areas of my home that this show has made me determined to get sorted:

  1. Our utility/pantry closet. It’s trying to do too much. I need to bring some of the excess bowls/serving wear and paperwork we keep on the very top shelf of this closet down and evaluate whether we truly need any of the dishes (as they’ve not been touched since we’ve moved here) and whether we can shred the majority of the paper — which is probably the case, as I have absolutely no clue what’s in there right now. I’m determined to keep only what I need for the current year and then shred at year end from here on out. (I keep those current-year documents in a Bigso box at my desk.) Then I am buying one of these for the inside of the closet door and turning this shelving rack (<< strongly recommend this brand; super sturdy and durable for the price!; I also use their shelf risers in nearly every cabinet in our kitchen!) sideways so that it’s against the right wall as you enter (it’s a deep closet) and items are easier to find. Otherwise, I find myself digging through a handful of coats and pushing brooms out of my face to get to the back. Things I’ve done right in there so far: organized all spices into identical spice jars and labeled the lids with a labelmaker, then sorted them into three white bins labeled: A-G, H-Z, and OVERFLOW. I keep our flours and sugars in these and these. (I strongly prefer the Progressive brand products to the OXO ones and would buy all Progressive if I could do it again — I find that the “pop” tops on the OXOs do not actually offer an airtight seal.) Finally, I keep certain bulkier spices (like bay leaves and peppercorns) in these.
  2. Mini’s closet and dresser. These will soon need to be a shared space for two children, so I’ve taken the first step of sorting through all of the overflow clothes that I’d been putting in decorative bins, donating what I don’t want (I feel I can now be a bit pickier with what I keep since we have a boy on the way, though who knows if we have a third) and storing what I do in these Ziploc space bags, organized by size. I intend to buy an inexpensive shelving unit for the back of mini’s closet (probably this) and will use the bottom-most cubbies for overflow diapers and wipes and then the two top sets of cubbies for bulkier clothes (sweaters, coats) and linens (crib sheets, towels, changing pad covers, swaddles). If I can swing it, I might add this closet rod (reviews!!!) to double the amount I can hang if it won’t interfere with the shelving (need to measure again), as baby clothes are so itty bitty! I also already took out some of the miscellaneous lotions and ointments I had cluttering our top dresser drawer and affixed this to the wall right next to the changing table to house them all. This has freed up more space for diaper storage (will soon need two sizes on hand depending on how quickly mini’s toilet training goes) and socks. (P.S., I use these to organize her diaper/sock drawer efficiently.)
  3. Our medicine cabinets. These are actually pretty tidy in general but I realized they weren’t optimized for ease of access. I had grouped things together more or less by size, which was the wrong way to think of things. I started by taking everything out of both of our medicine cabinets and ordered a ton of these and these. Then I sorted things into “use daily,” “use weekly,” “use monthly,” and “use sporadically.” This meant I was able to group my contacts and skincare and dental hygiene products together and then place them on lower shelves in our master bath. I graduated up to the top by placing things used weekly — face masks, lip scrubs, etc — on the tallest shelf. Then anything I use monthly or sporadically I placed in the guest bathroom medicine cabinet, organized loosely by category (pain medication, overflow/back-up contact solution and toothpaste, etc). Finally, I had a huge bin under my sink of overflow cosmetic and trial size skincare products that I use only rarely. I created a big bag of unopened trial-size products and gave them all to my nanny. Then I organized the rest by function (i.e., travel haircare, travel skincare, excess makeup palettes only used sparingly, etc) into these inexpensive and CLEAR (!) cosmetic bags, which means things will be much, much easier to find from here on out.

Whew. That’s a lot. The only remaining area for me to grapple with is our closet and dresser. They’re organized and doing the best they can, but the fact is we just have too many clothes for our apartment. And I mean it when I say that I am ruthless about donating things that no longer “spark joy.” I am hoping that when we move this upcoming fall, we’ll find ourselves in a space with more closets in the master bedroom…

Any other tips/observations/tricks?!

Post-Scripts.

+I have previously shared my other favorite home organization tips and products here and here, in case this post is up your alley.

+I have no insight into the quality of this brand, but I LOVE THE STYLING OF THIS AFFORDABLE BOOT. The color, the suede, the shaft length, the heel height. Perfect.

+This dress is…everything.

+Love the color and boxy fit of this affordable puffer.

+This simple and chic leather tote is 30% off RN (and can be monogrammed!).

+Laughed when I reread the big fat asterisk here.

+This, with leggings and booties, has become an easy weekday pregnancy lewk.

+These spacedye leggings are on sale for under $50 and I love the ice blue color!

+So moved by all of your kind notes on this announcement, and the many emails I received on this hard-to-write post.

+Ordered this preemptively for mini to wear to micro’s Baptism. #thinkingahead. (Great sale going on there right now — also contemplating this for micro.)

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