I have been fascinated by interior decorator and jewelry designer Nicola Bathie ever since I first discovered her floral earrings similar to these on Julia of Gal Meets Glam and ordered them immediately. I love her collection of fanciful statement earrings as much as her taste in interiors and her aesthetics when it comes to personal style–all of which I follow avidly via Instagram.
Nicola was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, but has lived in the UK and US and traveled widely. After earning a major in interior design from Texas Christina University in 2013, Nicola worked as an interior designer before launching her eponymous jewelry line, which has since been picked up by major retailers, including Anthropologie (see her collection here). Her jewelry designs feature beads and materials from around the world and are largely inspired by her travels. (Currently on my Magpie lust list: these pearly star earrings — though I just bought a pair similar to these!) She is an elegant spirit with a knack for the whimsical and stylish — and you should just see how she dresses her adorable daughter (and a second daughter is on the way!).
THIS SLINKY A+O, WHICH I’M CONSIDERING FILING AWAY FOR AN EVENT IN LATE FALL/EARLY WINTER
MY FAVORITE BRA EVER ($44!!!) — SORRY TO RUIN THE SURPRISE, BUT I’M ORDERING TWO FOR MYSELF AND ONE AS A GIFT FOR MY SISTER BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE TENDS TO BUY INEXPENSIVE BRAS AND I KNOW THIS WILL CHANGE HER LIFE*
JUST BOUGHT MYSELF THIS FANNY PACK, ON SALE FOR $60 — #MOMLIFE**
CONTEMPLATING BUYING THIS CHANTECAILLE SET FOR MYSELF — I LOVE EVERYTHING THEY MAKE; THE ROSE DE MAI MIST IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES
ORDERED THIS BACKPACK AS A FUN ALTERNATIVE TO MY PRIZED M.Z. WALLACE ONE BECAUSE…$30!
*SORRY THE ALL-CAPS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE I’M SHOUTING. I KIND OF AM.
**Also, one time, a sketchball tried to steal my wallet from my diaper bag while I was watching mini on the swing. Ever since, I’ve kept my key, phone, and wallet on my person — this fanny pack will be so helpful (instead of tossing half of my stuff in a backpack / holding onto it).
*Photo above from Styled Snapshots. Click over there to see how good she looks in her pair!
A propos of my post yesterday, I have needed some new workout gear for my “slow and good” fitness campaign. These Lululemon Align leggings (I got them in the 21″ crop in the olive green, exact color seen above) are THE BEST. Super stretchy and non-constrictive and yet they still kind of suck you in? I don’t get the technology, but they work. I’ve even heard they work during pregnancy — and of course, if you’re not pregnant at all! I bought them after realizing that all of my pre-maternity leggings were uncomfortable to squeeze into, especially around my incision, which is still kind of sore. These are buttery and stretchy and I love the 21″ leg length.
I have it on good authority from a trusted friend who gave birth to her son via c-section almost exactly a month before I did that this $24 pair is a solid (ultra-comfortable) dupe. I’m also drawn to this $18 tank by the same brand, which looks very Lululemon-esque, although these days, I’m usually wearing one of my Cake Maternity nursing camis (I didn’t like these as much last time, but they’ve been super handy this go around) underneath a simple men’s long-sleeved tee (I own this in gray and white). This way, when I need to feed micro, I just slip off the tee. Meanwhile, the tee provides ample coverage — I’m just not in a place where I want to be frolicking around in body-hugging tanks yet.
Hitha recently posted an interesting thought in her Instastories — I wish I’d screenshotted it! — that said something along the lines of trying to claim just one hour of every day for self-care–be it meditation, writing, exercising, reading, etc. The post made the point that one hour out of 24 is only about 5% of your day — and can’t you afford 5% of your day to nurture yourself?! Of course, the stat overlooks the fact that you’re sleeping for a good portion of 24 hours, which is in its own way a kind of self care, but still. The provocation stands. It made me feel better about the hour I spend sitting on the couch in front of the TV with a glass of wine, chatting with Mr. Magpie, most nights of the week. Mini is asleep, dinner is done, and micro has just had his last feed before his longest stretch of nightly sleep, between 9 pm and 1 am. And so from 9-10, when I should be sleeping or handling things around the house or tidying the kitchen or folding laundry or writing, we sit and be adults together — not parents, not employees, not daughters and sons, not siblings. Just two adults, enjoying one another’s company. We watch something mindless or serious, depending on our moods. We speak idly about our days. We almost always swap observations about the children. But mainly we sit there and return to ourselves. My body is freed of small limbs, hands, and mouths. I feel the onus of active parenting dissolve into the back of my mind, no longer on high alert for dangers that need averting and missteps that need correcting. It took me until Hitha’s post to realize that this hour is my own kind of self-care. It may not sound healthy — wine and TV are involved! — but it is deeply relaxing to just sit and just bewith my other half.
What’s your 1/24?
Post-Scripts: Detanglers for Little Ones.
+Ordered mini two new detanglers: this one for after-sun (she spends a lot of time in the water / running through Central Park / etc) and this one for after bath. I also really like this one for refreshing her hair in the morning when I’m tying it back.
+Just ordered a new day planner — why do they run from July-June? — and I really like this style, where I can jot down all my to-dos against a calendar. There’s even a little line where I can write down our dinner plans for the day, which is helpful because — we meal plan like pros over here.
+These colored goblets are so cute for a summer tablescape. Love them in the green or pink.
I’ve been taking Tilly and Hill on long, winding walks through leafy and under-trafficked bits of Central Park the past few days in the baking July sun, and I don’t know if it’s because I was born and raised in swampland, but I find the heat-induced flush and fatigue gratifying–even vaguely medicinal. Perhaps this is because I am considering these leisurely strolls the opening salvo to a more aggressive fitness campaign for which I have been mentally preparing myself in the aftermath of pregnancy.
I miss running. I haven’t run regularly in close to three years, but there was a time where I routinely ran a five mile loop through West Town, Chicago in around 40 or 45 minutes without batting an eye and considered, in a cloying fit of self-veneration, adding “runner” to my social media profiles. (Ick. Thank God I had the self-restraint to deprive myself of such self-adulation.) But — such was my affinity for the pastime.
More than running, I miss my pre-baby body. I know I just gave birth six weeks ago (exactly), but I would like to be able to dip into my summer wardrobe from last year without finding buttons stubbornly refusing to fasten and seams digging into my flesh thankyouverymuch.
I am wont to be bullish and over-zealous with such things. I tend to charge headlong into my goals rather than curtsying elegantly toward them. This is jarringly inconsistent with other realms of my personality, where I consider myself more measured and thoughtful about things. But the number of times Mr. Magpie and my mother have implored me to “take it slowly”? Countless. I never listen to them, and then they sigh and exchange knowing looks when I bemoan the inevitable injury or soreness or ailment. “You pushed it too hard, Jennie.”
Such was the case in the Hamptons, when I determined that a month was sufficient healing time for the c-section and picked mini up more than a handful of times, sprinted after her through the grass, moved my body in ill-advised ways. I paid for it in the days following, when my incision burned with such fury I thought for certain I had torn a few stitches. For two days, I shuffled along, feeling as I had just two weeks after birth.
“You pushed it too hard, Jennie,” thundered my chorus.
So this time. This time! I am determined to demonstrate patience.
On one of my walks this week, ambling along the mall in blithe easement, I lingered over the lyrics of the Lady Antebellum song “American Honey” song, which happened to stroll through my headphones:
She grew up on a side of the road Where the church bells ring and strong love grows She grew up good She grew up slow Like American honey
Steady as a preacher Free as a weed Couldn’t wait to get goin’ But wasn’t quite ready to leave So innocent, pure and sweet American honey
I initially thought of mini, of how satisfying it had been to see her tearing through the yard of our vacation rental, watermelon juice staining her swimsuit, hair a tumbleweed, little feet sooty with dirt. And I revisited some of my hesitations around her current alienation from cricketsong. As I circled back toward home, though, my thoughts roamed in a different direction, into a herd of musings on my recovery and my aspirations to reclaim my pre-baby body. (Reclaim. Now there is a loaded word I’ll need to unpack.) The lyrics reminded me — in spite of the nownownow-ness of contemporary urban life, where “on demand” and “free fast shipping” are the de facto conditions under which we operate —
that slow can be synonymous with good.
And that I might just be staring into the face of one such circumstance.
Cheers to getting back into shape the good and slow way.
+After talking for literally a year about buying or not buying Birkenstocks (I just could not…get my head around them), I wound up buying these waterproof single-buckle slides by the brand. HA. I saw a woman wearing them with a breezy caftan the other day and thought, “Well hm. I kind of like the single buckle style. A little less clunky on the leg.” And then I took mini to the splashpad and, for the millionth time in a row, scolded myself for wearing my Hermes Orans, which really should not be worn in puddles and mud. (Shame on me.) I thought these waterproof slides would be the perfect pair to keep handy in the basket of the stroller. I spent a good three hours (no exaggeration) debating between the white and the coral colors and ended up with the latter because they made me happy. So. That’s my story.
+MAJOR Kissy Kissy sale! I’ve written about how much I love this brand dozens of times. So well-made and the softest cotton. I have actually been really into convertible gowns with micro — I convert them into the gown format at night and it makes those nighttime diaper changes a breeze! — and so I have this in my cart. Also love these cloud-print jammies.
Q: Our son is being married in Beaver Creek, Colorado in August. I have a black crepe jumpsuit for our rehearsal dinner and of course my “day of” dress — however, we are hosting a barbecue on Thursday night and I haven’t a clue what I should wear. Normally I’m pretty good at picking my outfits, but not for this event. I have a short Saloni dress, but think it may be too much. I do NOT want to take ANYTHING away from my future daughter in law. Could you help me? I’m way older than you, but love your taste. I think I prefer something shorter since every other event we attend that weekend will be me dressed in something long.
A: Ooh! Congratulations! I am so flattered you’d check with me. I think Saloni is the right lane — elegant, timeless, but often deftly walking the line between casual and dressy. A couple of other options:
+This floral Veronica Beard. So chic and tasteful — and, as you’ve probably gathered from reading the blog, florals are so major right now.
+Similar, but splurgey: anything from Emilia Wickstead, but especially this dress (swoon) or this one. So Charlotte-York-garden-party-appropriate.
+A tunic dress like this feels punchy and festive but barbecue appropriate if the vibe is a bit more casual than the picks above. I also LOVE her tiered maxi but I know you want to avoid long, and the prints are pretty loud.
+I’m head over heels for all things Banjanan. Such pretty, fun, festive prints! I’ve been eyeing this dress — the ruffled sleeve detailing is on-trend while the rest of the dress is demure.
+For something a bit more sophisticated, this Nicholas dress looks like something Grace Kelly would wear to her son’s wedding festivities. Stunning, understated, chic, flattering. (Also comes in a fun plaid print — on sale!)
+Finally, the loudest of the styles: this floaty jumpsuit. Fashion-forward and in such a fantastic print.
Q: Hamptons recommendations with a baby/toddler — would love to hear what your family has enjoyed in terms of location, how you’ve found week-long rentals (so many seem to be monthly), and any other general recs for a relaxing trip out East!
A: Hi! We had the best time. We found our rental through AirBnB and my biggest tips are to try to book early and to be flexible on location. We ended up with a home north of East Hampton proper — it took us about 10 minutes via car to get into town — but it was totally worth the tradeoff because we spent most of our time in the backyard/at home given all the nursing/breastfeeding and naps we had to navigate around. Since the location was slightly less desirable than being, say, walking distance from E.H. or Sag Harbor, we managed to find a home with an enormous backyard, pool, and access to a private beach! For this season of life, it was the right move. If we were in our 20s, I would have been much happier being walking distance from bars/restaurants. Check out Springs and the neighborhoods that are a bit off the beaten path from Sag Harbor. (I also found it helpful to have a car as home base when we were out and about if I needed to sneak in to nurse my baby or if we just needed to abort mission and get home quickly.)
Honestly, most of mini’s activities were hanging out in the backyard with new lawn toys, swimming in the pool in the backyard, enjoying classic summer treats for the first time in her life (watermelon, popsicles, ice cream sandwiches), and playing at the beach. So — my honest, biggest suggestion is to get a house with a pool and stock your fridge with rose! Ha! We did take her out for smoothies and muffins at Mary’s Marvelous in EH and then let her run around the playground a few blocks away one morning, but in general, if we were out of the house, she was in her stroller. We also went out for coffee at Jack’s Stir Brew in Amagansett and they have a great little grassy knoll behind it where tons of toddlers were playing. (We also picked up sandwiches from Cavaniola’s, right along that grassy knoll, and it was SO GOOD. Strongly recommend both Jack’s for coffee — iced oat milk latte SVP — and Cavaniola’s for cheese/charcuterie and their sandwiches, especially their pate sandwich and their turkey one.) I had really, really wanted to take her berry picking but it just so happened that strawberry season ended on June 30th — the day we arrived — and it was too early to pick raspberries. I had been considering either Hank’s or the Milk Pail. I had also really wanted to take her to Wolffer Vineyard so we could taste wine and she could run around, but we just couldn’t get our acts together for some reason! Ha! We ended up having happy hour at home every night, which was just fine by me. But, something to consider.
One last note: I just came across this company called Hamptons Baby Gear that will rent you cribs, etc. at reasonable prices, and drop them off at your rental! I might consider this next year.
Q: Some of my best friends are finally getting married (they’ve been dating since middle school, so this has been a long time coming) and the wedding is days after Christmas, so I need a really good winter wedding-guest dress. Since the wedding is so close to Christmas, I’d love something I can also wear to midnight mass. It seems simple enough, but my problem is that I feel like my list of requirements is too long and impossible to meet. My dress needs to be semi-formal, modest (I’m thinking tea-length with at least short sleeves), not white/black (the bridal party is wearing black), under $200, and available in a 14 (a lot of dresses don’t go up to a 14 in straight sizes or they start at a 16 in plus sizes, so this gets frustrating). Do you have any recommendations for me? I know it’s really specific, but dressing modestly when you’re 21 and still in college is a lot more difficult than I expected, so I would love to see what you come up with.
A: Hi! I hear you! That sounds super frustrating. My first thought was that my friend Grace of The Stripe might be a good resource — she’s done a lot of work/posts with brands that offer inclusive sizing. So if I come up short, be sure to follow along with her. My second thought was Gal Meets Glam Collection. I know that she offers demure but chic pieces in up to a size 20 — this feels like it’s right in your wheelhouse. Most of her collection is very summery so I might check back once her fall/winter collections are launched, but something like this might be perfect. It reminds me of a Saloni! Pair with dramatic earrings like these. Spendier, but I love the label Rebecca Taylor, and they carry a size 14. This dress in particular is stunning and would meet all your requirements — but oof! Pricey. I am confident it will drop in price at Nordstrom or Bloomingdale if you wait long enough, though probably not below $200. Still, worth tracking. It walks the line between conservative and sexy in the most fetching of ways. Finally, I always love the label Self-Portrait. Their styles are pretty expensive, but this nails the look for under $200 and again looks sophisticated but also youthful and saucy.
I’m going to keep my eye out for you over the next few months as labels start releasing their fall collections. Ted Baker might be a good one to keep an eye on — their dresses tend to be slightly above your target price range, but I am confident you can score one on sale. A curvier friend of mine wore this to an event and looked spectacular in it.
Q: I am stumped in my search for bridal accessories. A few things to give you some context: my dress, my veil, and my shoes. I have no idea what to wear with that neckline because my normal day-to-day is a delicate necklace my fiancee gave me and I’m not sure that is ideal for it.I also don’t know what to do for my “something blue”… Is there a way to make that discreet? I love the tradition of it, but blue is not in my wedding colors.
A: Congratulations and thank you so much for reaching out for my advice! Let me just say that I am literally obsessed with your look — especially your veil. GORGEOUS. For jewelry, I would probably just wear a pair of earrings OR a pendant necklace with coordinating earrings. I think anything else will compete too much with the neckline. I wore a Mikimoto pearl pendant similar to this one and some vintage pearl and diamond earrings that belonged to my grandmother. They looked like they belonged together — a similar look would be chic with your style, in my opinion. You can find amazing pieces at RealReal (like this pair of elegant earrings and OMG THESE — SWOON AND SPLURGE). I love statement jewelry, but I stuck with more traditional, fine jewelry pieces for the wedding day; Even a simple pair of pearl studs would be perfect and timeless.
For something blue: I had a custom “dress tag” with my initials and wedding date stitched in blue sewn into my dress. SUPER discreet. Only I knew it was there! But it made for a pretty detail picture for the photographer, too. You could also have a handkerchief monogrammed/embroidered with something special to keep in your purse or wrap around the base of your bouquet. Both options are $20 or less! Oh, also — I wore a pair of blue Hanky Pankies 🙂
Q: We will be undergoing the Manhattan preschool application process this fall (dun dun dun!) for a 2’s program for my daughter, and I’d love any specific advice you have on navigating this! Your post on finding a Montessori program for your daughter was reassuring – any specific tips on writing the essays, what to expect at interviews etc? We live on UES so will be applying to several nursery schools there (one of which is affiliated with our church so I’m hopeful that will be a good fit). Did you have to do this dreaded post-Labor day call to obtain applications? Luckily more seem to be online these days but a couple on my list still follow the old school protocol. I fluctuate between trying to remain sane about the whole thing and spending irrational amounts of time thinking about what she (and I!!) should wear to interviews/tours!
A: So much to say here! First, there is a lot of hype around the private school application process here in Manhattan. I was intimidated when I discovered that a friend had hired a consultant to help with her son’s application process — and I’d barely gotten started with my own research. I can only speak from my experience, but I think that things are overhyped, so let that reassure you. I think there are a handful of schools — especially on the UES — that are super intense (we did not need to call on a specific day to request an application; meanwhile, I’ve heard of a school that requires all correspondence be done IN WRITING VIA SNAIL MAIL), but I would assume that if you have an affiliation with the church/synagogue attached to one of them, that should help. Second, here are a few scattershot observations and thoughts. Take them or leave them, as I am certainly no expert:
1) I would start by figuring out two elements: geographical requirements and preferences around school philosophy. Is it more important for your child to attend a school that you can walk to / is in your neighborhood, or is there a specific learning philosophy you favor? I really struggled with this one. I think of myself as a fairly pragmatic (?) person and so a part of me said: “Oh Jen. She’s two. This isn’t college. Pick a local pre-school that you can walk to — something a few blocks away.” But the other part of me knew that I’d always wanted to send her to a Montessori because my mother was a Montessori school teacher, I attended Montessori, every niece and nephew has, and I firmly agree with their approach. At the end of the day, I decided the philosophy was more important and that I’d be willing to commute with mini every day (we’ll need to take a subway to get to her school — no line-switching, but still!) If I am honest, this decision was also in part informed by the fact that I’d like to send mini to a private, preferably Catholic, grade school, and I knew that sending her to a well-regarded twos program would help with that step — should we still live here in Manhattan when the time comes. (I don’t want to be disingenuous and pretend that I’m not aware of the fact that certain schools feed into other schools! After all, though the process felt overhyped for us — it still felt very competitive and decently serious.)
2) Maybe you will be lucky and find a school that is both easy to get to AND in line with your preferred methodologies, but regardless, I would then spend time boning up on the school(s) you’ve narrowed in on and their philosophy (ies). This is primarily important because you don’t want to be surprised by something that feels weird to you down the road. I found a couple of schools whose messaging felt strange to me as I poked around their websites and read reviews online — as if they were trying to advance a social agenda or something? I won’t go into details, but some of it just felt a bit much for two and three year olds. It’s also important because I think that if you can articulate why you want to send your child to a particular school using their own lingua franca, everything will go much more smoothly. I remember seeing a few parents at the Montessori open house night express intense confusion over the model. “But…wait, there aren’t any lessons like where the teacher is at a blackboard?” and “So kids are just doing whatever they want to do all day?” These were misinterpretations of the Montessori model and their earnest questions revealed that these parents didn’t understand the approach — not that it was a bad thing at that stage (that’s what open houses are for!), but it occurred to me that I was in a much better position to articulate why we wanted to send mini to this school in particular, and it wasn’t just because the school was proximal to our home or that it was where so-and-so’s child went.
3) The essays and interviews were straight-forward. I think they are intended to make sure you aren’t going to be problem parents, i.e., aren’t going to fight them at every turn over their approach, and aren’t way overselling your child (“my son was reading by age 1”), which is likely a red flag. My sister (a first grade teacher / reading specialist) underscored this point when we discussed the applications. “Just don’t exaggerate or lie — share your observations simply and go from there.” My sense after going through the process is that the schools want engaged, thoughtful parents who will support the teachers and staff. The questions are general, i.e., “Describe your child” and “Why do you think she’d be a good fit for this school?” We tried not to overthink it, but provided specific examples that demonstrated “Montessori values,” i.e., independence, inquisitiveness, focus, etc. I recall talking about how mini enjoyed stacking/organizing things, the fact that we attempted to include her in daily household chores like folding laundry and setting the table (big lessons in Montessori), and some notes on how she liked to learn (she tends to hang back and observe at first, and then, once she’s given plenty of verbal reassurance, dive in with both feet). I thought these demonstrated that we’d be a good fit for the program and that we were attentive to her educational style.
4) Finally. I hear you on wanting to remain sane — it’s easy to get swept away and suddenly pre-school applications feel like the most important thing on your plate, which we can all assure one another THEY ARE NOT. But a friend said something interesting to me. I was walking that fine line — rolling my eyes while also anxiously discussing my options, and she said: “You know what, Jen? If you’re in it, be in it. If you want her to get into this school, go for it. Don’t spend half your time explaining why this application process is crazy. Just do it and own it.” It was liberating. From then on, I went all in and shut up about how weird the process was. I took every step seriously, talked at length with my mother, sister and a few trusted confidantes who appreciated what we were trying to do without making us feel like we’d jumped into the loony bin, and otherwise attempted to avoid discussing/fretting/overthinking.
Not sure if that helps! Obviously can write a lot on this topic…
Q: I’d like to buy my husband a weekend bag. Suggestions?
A: I’d look at the one by Paravel (love love love — and can be personalized) or the one by Filson. (Mr. Magpie uses their briefcase — incidentally, a really good gift for a loved one. They never think they need it and then they use it every day.)
I have amassed a weighty collection of learnings and observations on adapting to life with two children, but there is one I have returned to many times, and it arrived early, just days after micro was born, when I was living off fumes — riddled with joy, pain, exhaustion, nerves, and relief — and closing in on 48 hours of sleeplessness. I had the first of many meltdowns induced by pain and fatigue, and after sobbing about nothing and everything, Mr. Magpie quietly suggested I “just put down the baby,” pointing out that I had scarcely let him out of my arms since he had been born two days prior. This was an exaggeration, but it was not far from the truth. And so we sent micro off to the nursery, and instead of the feeling of bereftness I anticipated, I slept soundly for two hours, until a nurse returned micro, urgently, to my room to be fed.
I have revisited this seemingly simple sagacity many times in the weeks since.
Of course, newborns are meant to be held and snuggled. I have long subscribed to the belief that newborns can’t be spoiled, and I love the feeling of a snoozing babe nestled in the crook of my arm. I spend many mornings in bed with him like so. And sometimes, if I am not too bleary during the nighttime feeds, I will linger with him in my arms, taking in the precious outline of his features, the squirms and grunts he makes, his perfect scent, before retiring him to his bassinet — and I think Oh, I will be so glad I stole these moments with him when I could. Because that’s just what it feels like: stolen time.
But there have been countless times where I have found myself attempting to parent or entertain mini with micro in my arms and things get hairy real quick. I’m partly immobilized, unable to follow through on threatened time-outs in real time, or perilously balancing a newborn with a stack of play plates filled with food mini has “prepared” for me, or attempting to juggle a cup of water with a baby and a fistful of crayons. I will catch myself and say: “Just put the baby down.” The truth is that when I have successfully quieted micro, and he is either snoozing or happily blinking his sweet eyes or even sporadically fussing, he should be in his bassinet or his boppy or any other baby holding device as both a matter of practicality and good mothering. My mother has reminded me of this many times: “Babies don’t need to be entertained all day long.” The truth is, micro is fine on his own, and I am beginning to see that teaching him to sleep in his bassinet alone rather than in my arms is a prophylactic against bad habits in months to come. I was thrilled, for example, that he slept peacefully in the full-sized crib we had in our vacation home, and I attribute this accomplishment to the many afternoons he has spent in our bedroom while I attend to mini who, meanwhile, needs — where possible — pockets of my undivided attention.
And my body needs a break, too, even though this is the lowest priority on the totem pole at the moment. (I write this as aching exhaustion burns through my shoulders and upper spine.)
I have no idea why this has been occasionally difficult for me to remember. It seems obvious. And if I am honest, after he wakes and is fed, I often find myself trying every trick in the book until I can get him nestled back in his bassinet, asleep, to give my arms and patience a break, as I jockey between the needs of my two children. And yet I have no doubt that if you were able to peer into my apartment on any given Tuesday, you will find me awkwardly juggling a quiet baby in one arm and a feisty toddler in the other and would want to tell me: “Um, Jen. Just put down the baby.”
When he is sleeping, it’s a no-brainer, and I chastise myself when I realize he’s in my arms and snoozing. Let a sleeping baby be. (And he’s far more likely to be woken early when mini is peering into his face, letting her hair brush into his eyes, screeching: “LOOK, MAMA — HE’S AWAAAAKE,” when he is most definitely not.) But there is a part of me that flushes with the faintest sensation of guilt when I put him down and he is alert. I want him close to me in these moments. I feel compelled to introduce him to sights and sounds, to narrate what is happening in our world just as I did for mini. And — I don’t want to miss a moment. What if he smiles or coos and I don’t see it?
And yet I know, logically, that these are absurd considerations. Of course he needs my attention and love, but at some point, practicality and balance eclipse wonderment. Or such has been the case for me, where sometimes I need to take those moments where mini is preoccupied with coloring and micro is happily gazing at the ceiling to sit down and take a deep breath.
These are the fleeting, mottled musings of motherhood, my friends. The very fabric of what it means to care for children: the ache and joy and exhaustion and bewilderment of motherhood, where nothing is as simple as a directive from your husband to “just put the baby down,” but sometimes, maybe, you just need to hear it.
Post Scripts.
+I received this portable soothing sound machine as a gift and I love it! It’s much smaller than the Sleep Sheep I’ve raved about elsewhere and can be easily repositioned wherever it needs to be. I learned while on vacation that micro sleeps best in a dark, cool, white-noise-shrouded room. (No duh. Who wouldn’t?) But seriously — I think I was a bit cavalier about the adaptability of mini when it came to ambient noises while sleeping. We used to have her sleeping in her swing while we’d enjoy cocktails and pop music beneath kitchen lights and would brag about how she’d sleep right through it. Micro is a bit more sensitive. This little soothing machine has already accompanied us on many walks.
+I’m all about the shirtdress these days. I love how the defined waist makes me feel more tucked in and slender than I probably am, and the button-down front makes nursing a breeze. This white one and this black one are on my wishlist.
Coming down off the high of vacation, which was lovely. Exhausting, but lovely. Fellow parents will appreciate the logistical challenge of even a small trip into town for coffee when you are trying to coordinate between three babies — ha! My diaper bag, which has always been a point of pride for me in the sense that I always carry the minimum and prefer to make do with a tote bag not explicitly marketed as a “diaper bag,” was busting at the seams with the addition of vacation necessities like sunscreen, beach toys, sunhats, bug spray, water bottle for mini, two bottles for micro and pre-apportioned formula in this, more snacks than you can possibly imagine a toddler consuming, etc. I think I may need to upgrade my bag in terms of size to accommodate the gear I am now toting…
Anyhow, one big lesson from this trip with two children was appreciating the small pockets of fuss-free time and dialing in on the simplest pleasures. There was one morning where I’d fed micro and put him back down to sleep and mini was not quite up — it must have been around 6:15 or 6:30 a.m. — and I walked out onto the deck that overlooked the gracious backyard of our rental home and just stood there, soaking it all in. The buzz of insects, the sing of birds, the rhythmic whir of a sprinkler next door. I found similar moments elsewhere — watching Mr. Magpie fly a kite on the beach with mini yelling “I do it, I hold it” behind him while rocking micro on a dune not far away. Enjoying fresh produce from the bounty of local farmer’s markets. Enjoying a glass of rose with one baby in my arm and the other enjoying an evening dip with her aunt and uncle. These small moments of quiet, simple things amidst the rush and chaos of parenthood.
And with that: a couple of scattershot things on my mind:
+Trying to ramp up the amount of vegetables in mini’s diet. I had always hoped to avoid the whole “sneaking-veggies-into-food” routine, thinking that vegetables should simply be a part of mealtime rather than hidden, like some kind of medicine made more palatable through the addition of sugar. I had wanted to instill in her an appreciation for vegetables — or at least an accommodation of them. But we are at a point where the only vegetables she consistently eats are cucumber and green beans, and even then, she occasionally balks. So far this week, I have tried zoodles (#fail, even coated with cheese and garlic), cauliflower crust pizza (which she actually did eat — will try again), and these “gummies” with veggies and fruits mixed in. Also ordered these cauliflower-based crackers and these veggie cutters in a hope that maybe making the shape of her veggies more enjoyable will drive consumption.
+In love with this puff-sleeved tee dress ($65!). I wish it were more nursing-friendly…but I may need to order anyhow. So easy and comfortable. Perfect with my GG sneaks or Supergas.
+Also love this ditsy-print dress, which presents a similar challenge for nursing moms — but OMG. $75 and it looks like it’s a magical hybrid between Ganni and LoveShackFancy.?
+Pretty storage bins. I have been looking for something in blue to house some of micro’s spare diapers, wipes, etc under our master bed since he sleeps in our room. These laundry baskets are also darling and could be a chic toy storage implement for a basement. (These are the actual best laundry baskets — they stack, are easy to carry, and never crack/warp.)
+In a similar blue toile vein: this adorable blouse! Love with a high-waisted white skirt or white denim.
+I wore these maternity pajamas all vacation long and they are SO comfortable (the softest pima!) and flattering (love that the top is tunic-length), while also being practical (the button-front is nursing friendly). Contemplating ordering a second pair in the shorts style.
+Slowly losing the baby weight (ugh, I forgot it takes awhile — I had for some reason thought I’d be “almost there” by one month out? I must have had amnesia, but I recall losing most of the baby weight by nursing. This time around, it feels like everything is taking longer), but eyeing overalls like these as a daytime mom-on-the-go look. Hate how they are styled on the site. I’d wear them with a frilly white blouse.
P.P.S. I have re-read my post on 3 A.M. parties at least a dozen times and it makes my heart swell every time. Especially the last few days, as I prepare for Mr. Magpie’s return to work after six weeks of paternity leave. I feel weepy thinking that this special (and exhausting) time is coming to an end. Also, how will I do this without him?!
A propos of nothing at all – – I pinned the image above eons ago and I keep returning to it. I love everything about it: the woman’s enormous smile, the delicate way she’s holding her glass of wine, the ethereal dress she’s wearing (which kind of reminds me of this Amanda Uprichard blouse that’s been in my cart for months). If I could look like anything right now, I’d look like her. But the smile on my face here takes a close second 🙂
Anyhow.
Today, I thought I’d share the most popular items I’ve featured on le blog over the past couple months. I always find this exercise interesting because I then find myself wanting to buy all the things you chic peas like best — you are influencing me. HA. How’s that for Matrix-level thinking?
As you may have gathered, I am a Prime-a-holic. I don’t know how parents lived before Amazon prime! (I mean, I do but…man, does it make life easy!) Below, a couple of chic Amazon discoveries for children that have made their way into my basket:
1 // Flap Happy UPF 50 Sunhats (seen above — image from FlapHappy’s instagram account). These are very well-made and do a good job of keeping little heads out of the way of sun damage. Love all the colors they come in. I ordered one for mini for this beach trip.
2 // Vaenait Loungewear for mini. A few times a week, mini comes home with her nanny and takes a bath before her afternoon nap, as she’s been at the splash pad or playground or zoo and needs a good scrub. I’ve been looking for some comfortable clothes for her to wear into the crib for her nap that will also be suitable for playtime afterward without necessitating multiple outfit changes. It feel onerous to put her in pajamas, then change her into an outfit for three hours before bed, then put her back in pajamas, but it also feels kind of weird to have her in pajamas from 2 PM onward (?) Anyway, I found a good middle ground with the pieces from Vaenait Baby. I ordered mini this ribbed set and this trendy tie-dye set. (Would also make good travel clothes, especially if you’re traveling early in the morning/late at night.)
3 // Dock & Bay Microfiber Towels. I love these things. I always keep one in mini’s stroller basket during the summer, as she inevitably finds her way into splash pads when we’re out. These are super lightweight towels that fold up really compact but actually dry her off really nicely. I also love the cheery stripes and patterns they come in (how about that pineapple print?!)
4 // Moon and Back by Hanna Andersson. I was actually gleeful when I stumbled up on this only-on-Amazon diffusion line from the fantastic childrens’ sleepwear label Hanna Andersson. This may sound ridiculous but I always balk at the Hanna shipping fees — it’s like $9 to ship a pair of $32 pajamas. I love that these are now available with Prime overnight shipping and the prints are darling! I ordered this pair for micro and love that they can also coordinate with mini in larger sizes!
5 // 1212. I was surprised to see Amazon carries a small selection of 1212 pieces — one of my absolute favorite brands for baby basics like onesies and jammies. These are expensive but they are truly the softest, stretchiest pima cotton and they hold up beautifully in the wash. They are my absolute favorite for onesies in particular — they have a smart “lap shoulder” design that makes them easy to pull over the baby’s head, and I appreciate that there are only TWO snaps (why do all other brands have three at the crotch?) Plus, did I mention they are made of the softest cotton known to man?
6 // Copper Pearl Hats and Swaddles. Normally I’m all about Aden + Anais swaddles (love the thick, quilted muslin), but how darling are the prints on these hat and swaddle sets?! Would make a really cute baby shower gift bundled up with a coordinating plush toy or rattle.
7 // Cienta and Superga Sneakers. My two favorite brands for toddler shoes. They are sturdy but chic and non-clunky looking, and I love the colors they come in — especially that washed rose color for the Cientas and the washed blue color for the Supergas. Mini always has a pair of each of these in her closet.
10 // Feathers Undergarments. Mini wears a camisole under her dresses, and I have been impressed with the quality of this affordable brand and I love that they are tagless (and non-irritating to her). Up until recently, she wore these onesie styles, but now we’ve graduated to the camis. Mini is still in diapers, so I keep her diaper covered with monogrammed diaper covers and some of these inexpensive printed ones I also found on Amazon (so cute!), which are marketed as training underwear but work well as diaper covers.
11 // GoGoSqueez Applesauce. Do your kids love these applesauce as much as mini does?! We go through these with alacrity, and I’m always looking to buy them in bulk at a good price. Amazon sells them by the box for WAY cheaper than any of our local grocers, so I’ve added a box of these to our monthly subscribe and save order, but you can also order the box a la carte for a good price.
Packing for our trip to the Hamptons was lot more complicated than preparing for trips past. And though I wish my bag looked like this, the reality is that I have spent the majority of last week getting organized for a beach trip with two babies in tow. I’ve had a few readers ask for my thoughts on approaching this (I’m flattered!) — so here are some of my musings and purchases.
My first tip is to buy a little notebook (I used one of these) and dedicate it entirely to trip planning and logistics. This was easily the best thing I did. I used a few pages to jot down a checklist of all the gear we needed to bring (…a lot…) and continued to add items whenever they’d occur to me. I used the next page to create an ongoing list of to dos — things as small as “iron mini’s fourth of july outfit” and “decant shampoo/conditioner into travel size containers.” This was principally useful in giving me peace of mind that nothing would slip through the cracks, as I tend to think of little details like what bow mini should wear or whether we’ll have enough bottles while chained to the pump or trying to fall asleep at night. I also use the notebook to jot down activities I’d like to undertake — like berry picking! And catching fireflies! And, oh, all the beautiful and simple pastimes of summer in the sticks. (Though the Hamptons is hardly “the sticks.” But it’s certainly more sticks-like than Manhattan.)
Second, a big caveat: usually, I try to pack as light as possible and buy whatever we need when we arrive at the destination — especially bulky things like diapers, wipes, formula, and even on occasion inexpensive items like bottles and toddler plates and toddler toothpaste and so forth. But this time, since we are driving (I rented the LARGEST SUV ON THE LOT — a Chevy Suburban) and therefore have more space than we would if we were checking bags, and since I am in the midst of breastfeeding every 2-3 hours and therefore want to avoid having to get into town and immediately leave to run errands to stock our house, I attempted to buy everything we could possibly want or need before leaving. Hence:
+I started a special Amazon list for gear and toys and the like and added items to it over the course of a few days, as they occurred to me — things as specific as bug spray and sunscreen — and then placed a big order all at once.
+I placed a large order for pantry staples and snacks from Instacart and placed them in Hinza totes which would permit easy access in the car, with the thought that the Hinzas could also be repurposed as PERFECT beach/pool bags to stow snacks, toys, etc. (More great beach bags here.)
+I also ordered a case of wine from Astor Wines (my favorite place in the city — a great online shopping experience and their “Staff Picks” are generally flawless) and left it right by our door so we would be all set for #roseallday upon arrival. (Well, for Mr. Magpie. I’ll be sipping my glass or two because…#breastfeeding.)
+I ordered diapers and wipes for both children (including swim diapers for mini) — always bring/buy more than enough. My nightmare is getting somewhere and realizing I don’t have enough diapers or having to run out to the store two or three times to re-stock said diapers. Just buy more than you think you could possibly use. The same goes for children’s clothing. Trust me: the one time you try to go light, you’ll go through three changes of clothing in an afternoon.
+We decided to buy a bunch of backyard toys and activities for mini as we’d like to keep her busy busy busy so we can enjoy some vacation time ourselves. The house we’ve rented has a large backyard and pool and so, a few items we found for her:
+Though I’ve raved in the past about these packing cubes (and still stand by their utility and quality — they compress clothes and make finding things very easy), I went out on a limb and ordered two sets of these (in the blue for micro and the pink for mini) to help with sorting their gear and clothing. You can’t beat the price (less than half the price of my EZ Packing Cubes!), and they get such strong reviews! I also liked the various shapes and sizes they came in. I’ll be using them to keep their belongings ordered in their monogrammed Lands End tote bags. I have one for each of my children in the XL size and they are INCREDIBLE. Very durable, machine-washable, and beautifully oversized. I also like the pocket that lines the interior to help with organization. Personally, I like the fact that they are open top specifically for taking car trips — it means I can reach around in there to find whatever I need (bib, diaper, change of clothing, toys) without having to unzip anything or maneuver around in the car too much.
*We decided not to bring two strollers / our full-feature Bugaboo stroller, which has the little kickstand attachment for mini. This may be risky but our thought is that we can carry micro in his Baby Bjorn carrier and push mini in the stroller. Or, if mini wants to walk, we can just put micro in the Nuna carseat and snap it into the Yoyo base. There may be a time where we wish we’d brought two strollers or owned a double stroller, but we’re taking that risk to keep things lighter.
**Our AirBnB has a crib on the premises that we plan to use for mini, as we think that she might have outgrown the Nuna travel crib at this point. And thank God for that, as our other option would be to have her sleep in a twin bed there and I just don’t think we’re ready to introduce that to the mix. Micro will sleep in the Nuna travel crib. We are also bringing the tiny Brica fold n’ go bassinet because it’s an easy place to put baby down if we’re all hanging out in the backyard or family room. It’s very lightweight and folds small enough to pack into a large suitcase. I’ve used it on past trips for overnight sleeping, too, but I’ll feel more comfortable keeping micro in the Nuna, though, as it’s more secure from prying toddler hands and the two dogs we’ll have with us!
Whew. That is a lot of gear. Will keep you posted on what we ended up loving / not loving about all of this. We could probably pack lighter if need be but this seemed to cover all of the bases.
On vacation in the Hamptons! After the first few weeks adjusting to life as a mother to TWO babies (!!), Mr. Magpie and I had a come-to-Jesus moment where we looked at each other and said: “So, this Hamptons vacation is not really going to be a vacation after all…” But, we are still looking forward to all of the extra space, the new experiences for mini (a backyard! the beach! daily dips in the pool! strawberry picking! etc.), and the companionship of my sister and brother-in-law as well as our best friends, who recently had their first baby.
But, thought I’d pop in and share a few things au courant chez Magpie:
Currently reading The Falconer by Dana Czapnik as a part of our vacation book club. Our friends usually pick a book to read together as a couple when they travel (so cute), so we joined in on the fun. I have been hearing rumblings about this book for awhile and we were all drawn to the fact that it is set in NYC in the 90s and has a heavy emphasis on place/space. Next I’ll read our Magpie book club pick.
Currently wearing my Sleeper dress, lots of button-front shirtdresses, and cotton maxi dresses like this.
I have to say — my Loeffler Randall Birdie slides have been one of my favorite purchases to date, and they are on sale in a ton of colorways for around $100 here. They are comfortable (though readers should note that LR tends to run narrow), easy to walk in, and add just enough interest to any old thing. (I actually bought them in a white canvas version of this that I can no longer find online, but having them in black would be equally versatile — the colors are fantastic and go with everything I own!) And speaking of LR: these $35 slides look like the SPITTING IMAGE of a pair by the brand.
Currently wishing I’d bought this to wear for the Fourth tomorrow. Easy, forgiving, and Americana in dress form.
Currently wearing Meet My Decorator gel polish from OPI on my fingers — it’s the cheeriest, firiest orange-y red and though I know wearing gels kills my nails, it’s the only solution until I get into more of a routine with two kiddos.
Currently tearing through these mini notebooks, making a ton of lists. My mom gave me this fun little box set of notebooks as a little add-on to my birthday gifts and I love carrying one in each of my purses and stowing one in my bedside table, etc. They’ve been so helpful as I try to keep my head screwed on straight the past few weeks. They give me the chance to transfer all of my lists and worries and ideas onto paper so I can create more space for myself…
Currently stressing me out: the length of my thank you note list. I am usually ultra-disciplined about sending thank you notes within a few days of receiving a gift, but I have been swamped and now I can’t believe it’s been over a month since I’ve received all of these gifts for micro and I’ve still not written them! I even ordered all of the stationery…one day soon!!!
Currently lusting after one of these “learning towers” for mini — love all of the colors they come in. I think she’d love to use one to help me cook in the kitchen. For father’s day, we actually baked cupcakes from scratch together and the only safe option for cooking with her was sitting down on the kitchen floor to mix and measure everything.
Currently watching: Big Little Lies, Season 2; Billions; Southern Charm; and Chernobyl. Like everyone else I know. Ha! I devoured the show Divorce on HBO during late night feeds over the past few weeks — I cannot get over how hilarious the male lead is in that show! His affect is just hysterical to me. The premise is depressing and some scenes were cringe-worthy but overall, I found myself occasionally laughing out loud and thoroughly engaged. I also drank two seasons of Very Cavallari up in no time flat. She’s fun to watch (gorgeous) and I cannot figure Jay Cutler out. Mr. Magpie insists he was a horrible leader and sportsman when he played for the Bears, and I can’t quite put my finger on his tone. Is he sarcastic? Mean? Self-involved? Awkward? Anyway, that show was a delight.
Currently loving this face mask. I like the way it makes my skin feel tight while it’s on — like it’s drying all the impurities out — and then leaves my skin soft.
What’s au courant chez toi? I am missing my in-person book club because it keeps me fresh. All my Magpie readers always bring the latest must-dos and must-reads and must-sees and so I feel completely out of touch!
P.S. These musings on the eve of micro’s birth feel so far away, emotionally and intellectually. I can’t believe my boy is over a month old. It’s true what they say: babies don’t keep.
P.P.S. Working on a new Q+A — feel free to send your questions to me via email ([email protected]) or direct message. I answer each and every one!
Just when you get to a point in summer where you think — OK, I’m set for the season — Shopbop launches a mid-season sale and you realize you still have space for some newcomers. Below, my favorite finds from the Shopbop sale…
P.P.P.S. This post on my postpartum figure after mini’s birth is giving me all the feels now that micro is here. I completely forgot how long it would take to feel like my body is my own. I think it took a few months last time to get back close to my pre-birth weight, but around nine months to actually feel like myself (after I’d weaned mini, etc.) And even at a year, I would still feel occasional weirdnesses around my incision — it takes a long time for all the nerves to regenerate and I didn’t have much sensation around there for a long, long while. Anyway. A reminder to myself to be patient and generous and treat myself as I would a good friend…
