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A reader asked about styling chino shorts, and it took me down a little shopping rabbit hole that has now left me determined to buy a pair of long-ish white denim shorts for summer. I’m not a shorts gal, but I must live out this styling fantasy. (Inspo above from Symphony of Silk and below from Irma Tessar.)
First up: the shorts. Slightly long, a modern mom-fit. I found three excellent options at different price points: Veronica Beard ($$$), Agolde ($$), and Zara ($).
Second up: styling. I love the idea of wearing these shorts with a more polished top and a trendy pair of sandals, or an unexpected little jacket and some ladylike flats. These details make the entire look intentional and fashion-conscious.
Styling Mom Shorts: Look 1.
Top: Alex Mill. I also love Rag & Bone’s slightly more expensive Maxine top — it has a great polish/shine to it, but wears like a t-shirt — and you can get the look for less with either this one from Nordstrom’s house brand or this one from Sezane.
Bag: Loewe Anagram tote. I’m eyeing this bag seriously after seeing that it’s being released in both a hot pink and a kiwi green. I love a bold color moment! I’ve never once regretted picking a bag in a statement color.
Tee: COS. This just arrived and is a great, luxe, heavy-weight cotton. It runs a tad cropped but otherwise TTS. I took the XXS. TBH, very similar to the $15 Uniqlo. I would put them neck and neck — similar, thick weight; structured fit; etc.
I was charmed by this recent post titled “Life Hacks,” in which writer Aja Frost collates a miscellany of little lessons learned the hard way — e.g., “Take a picture of coat check stubs, dry cleaning tickets, etc. so that if you lose them (every time), you can still get your stuff,” and “If you need a new or renewed passport in a hurry, write to your congressperson; their office will expedite it.”
What are the little rules, hacks, and codes of personal conduct you, too, live by?
Here are a few of mine —
01. Have lots of small “nibbly bits” scattered in dishes around your home when guests are over. I find people are much less likely to tuck into a platter of cheese or a tray of snacks when it’s in the center of the room, difficult to access without making a big show of it! Related: pre-slice cheese (even the kinds you don’t think should be sliced) and generally avoid anything that requires a fork and knife when you’re entertaining in a living space (versus in a seated dinner). Make it easy for people to serve themselves.
02. Never arrive as a guest at someone’s house empty-handed. Doesn’t have to be fancy — a bar of soap, a parcel of cookies, a small rosemary plant!
03. Send a hand-written note whenever possible, but especially for thank yous and condolences. When you are writing a condolence card, share something specific about the deceased — a memory, something you loved about them, something they once told you. These details mean so much to the bereaved.
04. When in doubt, send food. When my friends are going through hard things, I like to send a meal, or an Uber gift card for a meal, because even if I have nothing material to offer that can assuage the pain or stress, I know that having one less thing to think about helps.
05. “Let me think about that.” I lean on this all the time when I’m being asked for something on the spot — a favor, a high-stakes answer, etc. You can and should buy yourself time to collect your thoughts.
06. An apology asks for nothing. I keep this top of my mind when making and accepting an apology. A true apology has no strings attached and makes no demands of the recipient.
07. Using a password saver like 1Password avoids an entire world of trouble and headaches. Once you get over the fear of forgetting the master password, you can log into anything from anywhere, securely share passwords with family members, and keep your financial and personal data safe.
08. Dress for the weather. Cold feet or wet clothing can sabotage the best laid plans.
09. In a public speaking setting, focus on delivering your first sentence as slowly and calmly as possible. Make that your specific and primary objective. If you can get through the first line with confidence, it sets the tone for the remainder.
10. Say I love you to the people you love as often as you can.
11. If you’re feeling out of sorts, get outside, drink a lot of water, and go to bed early. I swear that these three things resolve most of my anxieties.
12. When estimating how much booze to buy for an event, the rule of thumb: guests usually have two drinks the first hour and one drink each subsequent hour.
13. Show up early. Round up when estimating how much time it will take to park, get inside, find the room. Use Google Maps “Departing at” / “Arriving at” function to get a realistic view as to the transit time at a particular time of day.
14. Overestimate how much time you’ll need when paying a parking meter. I’d rather lose a dollar than spend a meal stressed about getting back to the car.
15. The iPhone “notes” and “reminders” apps are hidden gems. You can use the reminders app to create and share shopping lists, to-do lists, and more with a spouse and you can both dynamically add and check them off. You can also assign to people and add due dates. The reminders app even has a function where it will auto-sort your grocery list by category — e.g., dairy, meat, frozen foods! In the “notes” app, tap the camera icon in a note in order to scan documents and even text (!). The scanning is helpful if you need to upload a signed document for school, work, medical offices, contracts of various kinds — and the scanning text is SO helpful if you have a phone number, code, tracking number, etc on a piece of paper and want to quickly convert it to text on your phone.
16. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. In every situation! This is a great trait as a conversationalist; it ensures you understand what’s happening at the doctor’s office, in the meeting room, within the parent-teacher conference, and it will put your mind at rest later.
17. Related: keep a list of questions to ask the doctor. Even the small things that randomly occur to you. True as a parent, too — write down any observations and hand off to the pediatrician!
18. When you are thinking about someone, let him or her know. Send a quick note or email or text — “thinking of you…remember when…?”
19. Invest time in getting to know your neighbors. These are not only the people who will bring in your trash cans and mail when you’re out of town, run over to look after your children in an emergency, and lend you a cup of sugar, leaf blower, or what have you when you need it, but likely the folks you will see more often than anyone else in your day to day life. One of the greatest draws of our life in Bethesda is our vibrant and loving neighborhood.
20. Admit when you’re wrong, or don’t know. I spent way too much time in my younger years pretending to know the answer, or insisting I had the right answer when I clearly did not. Who cares?! As I get older, I respect people who know what they don’t know, and aren’t afraid to acknowledge it. Plus, people love to share what they do know — so just own it and let someone else step in.
21. Store peanut butter upside down in the fridge. This prevents it from separating (to some degree!)
22. Keep bananas separate from other fruits, especially avocados — bananas release a chemical that advances/expedites the ripening of fruits around them!
23. Potatoes should be kept in dark, cool places, or they will sprout and grow eyes.
24. My mom taught me this one: if you wake up in the middle of the night with an urgent to-do, open the drawer of your bedside table. You’ll wake up the next morning, wonder why it’s ajar, and remember the thing. I now principally use my notes function on my iPhone for this because my midnight “OMG, I can’t forget…!!” moments typically come in multiples, but this is a good hack for a specific thing you need to remember.
25. If you’re going somewhere and can’t forget to bring xyz (tickets, voucher, receipt, form), tuck the item inside your wallet or keys. You can’t leave home without those!
+I started using this SPF-infused primer again the minute it turned warm. It’s a fabulous first layer — adds glow and has a diving blurring effect, while also providing sun protection. Plays really nicely beneath other makeup / foundation / concealer, too. I also just got their new bronzer in and can’t wait to test.
+My friends and I rehydrated after a late night with these Moon Juice powder packets. You mix into water. The taste is not fabulous, but if you drink it quickly, it really does help with rehydration. I’m keeping on hand for when I’m under the weather, or the next time I do hot yoga!
+This collapsible bucket seems very handy for lots of implementations — cleaning, gardening, housework, soaking things, etc. My kids would also have a ball with it outside filled with water.
+Above, I shared a bunch of recent Amazon finds. You can shop them all in one place here!
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A few items I’m loving for the season ahead…
01. Insulated wine bucket! I own and love this! Generously sized and the insulated liner is brilliant.
02. Acrylic drinkware — these exact oneshave been a top Magpie seller the past few springs, but I also love this classic set from Juliska. May I also recommend a sleeve of these reusable plastic cups, which are in constant use in the summer months? (Dishwasher-safe!). I like them because you won’t worry if a neighbor or friend wanders home with one!
03. Picnic blanket. This is en route to me — I love to spread one in the front or back lawn for an impromptu picnic lunch for the children, and we were overdue a new one.
06. Fun melamine plates — full service (dinner plates, salad plates, bowls, etc!) for four for $72! We also use these plates year-round for breakfast/kids/etc.
07. Inexpensive striped pool towels. Also handy for all the spring/summer things — water play, sprinkler, etc! Stow by the back door in a bin like this.
12. You will need a folding table at some point this summer. We always do — guests, parties, etc! These are under $100 and consistently highly ranked. We have one and it’s very heavy duty — I think we found this via Reddit a few years ago.
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Q: Gorgeous blue dress you’re wearing with the Ancient Greeks. Where can I find it?!
A: It’s a past-season Julia Amory shirtdress! She releases them in lots of patterns — this one is very similar and on sale. (Reader: the photo she was referencing is here.)
Q: You featured denim shoes but I can’t find them – do you have a link?
Q: Gift for bachelorette guests. In our late 30s. Spa/winery weekend — relaxation vibes!
A: OSEA products — I’m obsessed with this body butter and this salt scrub. (10% off with code MAGPIE10.) Wrap one up in cello with a big ribbon for each! Alternately, Mr. Magpie and I love these incense sticks from Aesop. Immediate relaxation for both of us! Finally, I’m absolutely obsessed with my new ice roller. I texted my sisters and my best friend insisting they order one! They come in fun colors, so you could pick a different one for each attendee and wrap up in cello with ribbon. Could be cute to bundle this something like a lip scrub, eye masks or sheet masks, or lip/cheek balm.
Q: What is a different style (i.e., scandi, minimalist, cottage core) that you’d like to try?
A: Such a fun but challenging to answer question, because I don’t think about the way I dress as a particular formula / style, and would never designate something as “off limits” or “not me” — I mix it all in. That said, I suppose one aesthetic I’ve always liked on other women but never felt quite at home in is the super simple, minimalist vibe — black trousers, white tee kind of thing. I’m a maximalist at heart!
Q: Cocktail dress for a future-themed party?
A: This stumped me for a minute, but I keep coming back to the idea of something that looks metallic / robotic, like this Simon Miller, or this paillette number. (Look for less with this.). Other options in this vein: this, this, this. I would style with heavy mirrored/silver accessories, like these bangles.
A: I typically use this in the largest size for pool. It’s not waterproof but it’s super roomy, has a liner, and has lots of handy pockets for sunscreen, etc, and also a zippered part where you can keep wallet / keys separate and dry. If you’re worried about things getting wet, I see lots of chic moms carrying the largest Bogg bag size, and my husband uses the L.L. Bean Hunter tote, which is water-resistant outside and in!
Q: How to style chino shorts?
A: I own and love these and like to pair with tucked-in blouses / button-downs for a polished look. I’d reach for something like this, this, or this.
Q: Inviting friends to a picnic and would love your thoughts on what to serve, esp. novel items.
A: I like snacky lunches for picnics — things you don’t really need forks/knives for, because you’re often balancing a plate on a knee, sitting in a weird way, etc. I would probably visit Organic Butcher and/or Bread Furst stock up on their fun things — really good baguette (pre-sliced at home) and fancy seeded crackers, fun dips (I know Bread Furst carries pimento cheese dip and muhamarra dips and both are delightful), cured meats, an interesting local cheese, spiced or truffled nuts, dried fruit. I would likely supplement with a pasta or couscous salad made at home or a bucket of good fried chicken or chicken tenders (thinking Korean fried chicken tenders) delivered from a local spot, and bring a homemade dessert. I specifically remember this lemon cake I made from an Ina Garten recipe that I brought to an outdoor picnic concert, and we devoured it! Another thought that just came to mind: Mr. Magpie likes to serve good melon cut into wedges with prosciutto and drizzle the platter with a bit of olive oil, anise seed, and licorice-flavored liquor (just a splash). SO good.
Q: Would you help me find a dress to wear to a wedding in Healdsburg, CA (Sonoma area!) where the dress code is “wine country semi formal.” I’m thinking maybe something from Farm Rio but really have no idea what direction to take this dress code.
A: My immediate thought was something from Sir — this, this? I feel like wine country calls for something that is at once sophisticated and not too fussy. Other possibilities: this SEA, this CocoShop.
Q: Favorite items to order online from Eataly? Hosting an Italian dinner party and would love your recs.
P.P.P.S. On building friendships through motherhood.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
A cocktail of items on my radar:
01. Ancient Greek sandals. I’ve written a lot about my Eleftheria sandals over the past year, but I’ve been wearing constantly since the weather turned. They are so flattering on the foot, and after an initial wear, you’ll barely notice them. (I’m wearing above with a Julia Amory shirtdress, on my way to school drop off!). I also just noticed they carry this style in a rubberized material great for beach / pool!). I just ordered this pair of slides in silver from the brand — sort of a twist on the Hermes Oran (and lookalikes) so many of us wear. Something a little different!
02. Meri Meri x Target. I love this paper brand (it’s usually my first “search” when I’m looking for cups, plates, decor, etc for my children’s birthdays!) and just noticed it’s carried at Target. I’m loving these floral cups, plates, and napkins for a summer gathering. Target’s house paper product brand, Spritz, also has some cute summer offerings at great prices: these treat cups, these striped plates and dog plates, these ice cream cone hats.
04. Etsy gems! Some gorgeous recent finds: these customizable matchboxes (very cool party favor, or something to tuck in with a nice candle as a hostess gift), hand-painted photo mats, bow-topped placecards, and bolster pillows in cheerful stripes.
05. Beginning to look for warm weather wear for my daughter. My son’s wardrobe is on lock — Oso and Me shorts and Lacoste polos — but my daughter is less interested in the outfits she’s worn in summers past (lots of CPC Kids shorts and TBBC play dresses). I’m looking for shorts sets (I find it’s much easier when my daughter knows shorts go with a certain top), and I like these patterned ones from Old Navy and this set from Rylee & Cru.
06. Our favorite brand, Mille, just offered us 15% off sitewide with code JEN15. A great time to pick up a Saffron dress — I wear mine constantly (and own in three patterns…), or the Shangri-La dress so many of you loved on me! I added this to my promo code page, too — I’m trying to keep that as up to date as possible!
07. I mentioned this recently, but I’m in the market for a new tinted moisturizer. I like the ones from Saie, Chantecaille, and Laura Mercier, but just curious to see what else is out there. I keep hearing good things about Trish McEvoy’s Beauty Balm and Iris & Romeo’s Weekend Skin. Might try both!
08. Hunting Season launched a great new summer collection. The top handle bags in raffia and canvas are SO GOOD.
09. Mini has been begging me for flip flops, and I finally found a pair I can condone: Tkees does children’s sizing! I had no idea! (I’m not a big fan of flip flops, but I do love my barely-there Tkees.)
Two close friends just lost parents, and Mr. Magpie and I spent a lot of time among the grieving over the past weekend. I found myself thinking about how grief is the shape love takes after someone dies, and yet how difficult it is to wrap your head (or heart) around this truth when you’re in its grip. You feel instead an acute loss. The things unsaid, the lasts, the “I can’t believe she won’t be here when…” One of my friend’s aunts said: “Frankly, I’m annoyed at him for dying.” And I thought how real that was, and how brave it was for her to speak so candidly.
As is the way, I have found various poems and quotes filtering through my consciousness and I have been looking at them through the lens of my friends’ losses. Something that might not have struck me as interesting at all a week ago now hangs heavy with insight. Gretel and her breadcrumb trail, etc.
From poet Lao-Tzu, 6th century BC:
All things pass A sunrise does not last all morning All things pass A cloudburst does not last all day All things pass Nor a sunset all night All things pass What always changes?…
Take things as they come
All things pass
I share this less as a reminder that “this, too, shall pass” in the bigger sense, because maybe we never “get over” the loss of a parent, and that’s OK — but more from a vantage of being receptive to the potent cocktail of emotions that courses through us at a time like this. “Take things as they come.” Feel everything; no feeling is final, or inapt. It seems that we are trained to “recompose ourselves” as quickly as possible after we’ve cried, or to change the subject after we’ve gone on for awhile remembering the dead, but it’s OK to let the sadness hang in the air. There will be days when we feel less tender in the future, but right now, today, we can receive the waves of sadness as they break. And sometimes we feel the opposite, by the way — that we must speak in somber tones, and avoid laughter, and not celebrate the joys that bizarrely tend to coincide with death: babies born, engagements, happy news of happy plans. But it’s OK to feel those things, too. There are no emotional economies that I know of. No pie charts that indicate the total measure of exuberance or grief we can experience at any given moment. Take things as they come.
Two adjacent sentiments that jumped out at me this week:
“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott
and
“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” – John O’Donohue
One last thought that I’m paraphrasing because I can’t remember where I read this: it’s not about getting to the other side; it’s about easing our way across. The visual stirs me: we move at a slower, more graceful pace; we swing one leg over the fence at a time versus javelining ourselves across. Your direction is more important than your speed.
Sending love to all experiencing grief, or its forethought.
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A roundup of chic, unexpected finds no one else will be wearing…
01. Any of Ciao Lucia’s sailor-core dresses, like this, this, and even this (hinging on Madeline vibes). They’ve been on my mind ever since I saw Sharon Koh wearing one one earlier this month.
02. Negative is under the radar as it is, but especially in the swim/casual arena. Break out this eyelet top and matching shorts and find yourself the coolest in the cabana.
03. Loewe-inspired for $160 — pick any of the patterns/styles and you’re sure to have a conversation starter on your hands.
04. The French brand Vanessa Bruno hasn’t really caught on stateside (worn more in Europe), and I can’t puzzle at why — I assume it has to do with the small number of retailers that carry the label here. Pants like these are a 10. Pair with a white tee and leather sandals and stand out in a crowd.
05. Boteh is similarly under-the-radar, but has the most fabulous patterns and cuts. I am obsessed with the swim and pants they have out this season.
06. SZ Blockprints released an occasion-wear capsule with a few small runs of spectacular dresses you won’t see anywhere else, including this dress and this caftan.
07. Colores Collective’s raffia twistlock crossbody and bucket bag are ultra-chic twists on classic shapes with great colors.
08. Similarly, my Dans La Main Kelly bag never ceases to fetch compliments. I’ve had women ask me — is it Fendi? Hermes?
09. In a dream world, I’d own one of everything from Danielle Fichera’s smartly designed, gorgeously tailored collection, but I especially love the Eve dress.
11. The letter-emblazoned totes from London/Velvet have an Anya Hindmarch flair-meets-vintage-Coach flair to them, but they’re still entirely their own thing. A great option for a baby bag.
12. Woden sneakers will set you apart from a pack of Sambas and/or Vejas. Also love Onitsuka Tigers for this reason!
“I think it’s really important for grandparents to recognize that the mom/birthing parent has just gone through a huge physical ordeal. I appreciated that my mom immediately checked on me and not the baby.”
“I find it helpful when the grandparents affirm that something is just hard. My dad once told me, quietly, during a visit when our 11-month-old was going through some kind of sleep regression/refusal/shit: ‘This is a hard time.’ And then he shut up. And it was lovely.”
My mom lived out the first example in many ways after my children were born. She did such a good job of checking in on me, on making sure I was taking care of myself, that it’s forever changed how I respond when friends deliver babies. “The baby’s perfect,” I’ll write, “And how are you? How was the first night? How are you feeling?” There is a general neglect of post-partum maternal care in our culture, but not from my mom: she stood firmly in another camp. When I was in the recovery room after my second c-section, she practically sprinted into the room when they permitted her to come back, all abuzz with excitement, wiggling her fingers in anticipation of holding her grandson, and I watched as she paused and course-corrected, wheeling back around to my bedside: “But first: how’s my baby doing?” She also sat with me and patted my hand and smoothed my bedsheets when I was sniffling through post-partum weepiness whose source I could not parse, and — this I really remember — was blessedly pragmatic, almost phlegmatic, about some of the unpleasant physical aftermath after the c-section, much of which now feel almost too grisly to write out in public, but it involved, among other things, her helping me into underwear when I couldn’t bend over, buying me digestive aids, and telling me, firmly, that I should sit down and take a deep breath before taking the shower in which I’d need to remove the medical tape they’d laid over my sutures.
I’m curious today to hear your examples. What were the most helpful things your parents or in-laws did for you after your baby was born?
(I’m taking notes, too, as an aunt/friend – it’s insane how quickly you forget the newborn days, and what felt good and not. By force of this exercise, for example, I’m now vaguely remembering that I didn’t always find it helpful to have someone holding the baby, but I massively appreciated folks entertaining my toddler when they’d come by. The two things that I found the most thoughtful/helpful from sisters and friends: 1) One of my girlfriends stopped by with an enormous grocery bag of fancy deli meat, a loaf of artisanal bread, various spreads and tapenades, fresh fruit, and snacky things. This enabled us to make quick standing meals, which felt like the only kinds of meals we could have right after we brought our babies home. I’d make a little sandwich, or grab a handful of nuts and fruit, and it was heaven. This has been my go-to “gift” for new parents since. Perfect for midnight dinners and 4 a.m. breakfasts. 2) One of my sisters would come by and just do shit (excuse language, but this is what we’d call it — JDS) without being asked. Not “where should this go?” and “what laundry setting should I use?” She’d just arrive and wordlessly wash the dishes, put away the toys, take out the trash. If something was not put away in its designated spot, who cared?! It was clean and out of the way. This mattered so much to me in New York, where we were short on space and I could feel my stress level escalating as the day would go on and more toys, soiled baby linens, and dishes would pile up all over the place. JDS.
My sister is preparing to deliver her second and I’m hopeful I can find some specific and meaningful ways to be helpful to her since I live four hours away — I wonder if there’s anything I can do remotely. Any ideas?
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+These woven flats sell out every season. Only a few left! They are THE most comfortable shoe straight out of the box. I have a pair I’ve worn heavily the past two years.
+I saw a really cute idea on Instagram that I’m recreating for my son: use 3M hanging tape to attach a Lego plate to the interior of a 3 ring binder, then decant some Legos into one of these 3 ring pouches and clip it inside. A little Lego travel set!
+This boxy jacket from Still Here is having a moment – it’s already sold out in the unusual white/red combo, but the all denim sitch is on point, too. Reminds me of Toteme.
+Lesportsac is enjoying a little renaissance right now! They’ve done a few cool collabs, including one with Libertine, but I am really loving the vibe of these throwback “spectator” totes.
+UBeauty is offering 20% off sitewide. You know I love these lip plasmas, and I used their tinted super-hydrator down to the last pump/drop! I really liked that product — more coverage than some of the other tinted moisturizers I’ve used — but right now I’m debating whether or not to test Trish McEvoy’s, which I’ve also heard great things about. One of my girlfriends (who has THE BEST skin) swears by Trish!
+Looking for an over-the-mirror lighting solution for our powder bath. Two that caught my eye: this and this. Our decorator has been proposing more of a bar light, but I’m not loving the options out there…still hunting! Speaking of lighting, I keep coming back to the whimsical fixtures from Stray Dog. So fun and unexpected for a nursery, studio, play room, etc!
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
If you feel even a scintilla of emotion over anything, you can assuredly find a passionate outcropping of conversation about the subject on Reddit. I love this. Feel like something’s off about the new mustard re-brand? Obsessed with the sound of a manual coffee grinder? You can and will find other people who have observed the same phenomena and volunteered their opinions. I often find Reddit reassuring for this reason: other people have thoroughly articulated a passing “sense” that I’ve clocked, and have done all the legwork of explaining why I felt that way. Often, these are about trivial matters, but sometimes, I stop and think: “Aha! Something I did not know about myself.” I also find it comforting to imagine these legions of observant people taking in the world and sharing their minute views on it. “Attention is our proper and ceaseless work!” “Be astonished! Tell about it!” — These are all Mary Oliverisms. There are its detractions, but Reddit seems full of Mary Oliver disciples.
I was reminded of this last week when I shared the photo of myself above on Instagram, and a generous (!) reader commented: “Love this look — it’s giving Natasha from SATC in the best way. She always had the chicest outfits.” After beaming my way through the flattery, I realized I had a lot to say about Natasha. Poor Natasha! I lowkey loved her, and found her elegant and mature in ways that Carrie was not, or not always. I have long felt that the writers of the show couldn’t find a way to exonerate Carrie’s behavior with her. Perhaps this was intentional, but it almost felt like Natasha’s goodness, her polish and maturity — or the way patrician beauty Bridget Moynihan telegraphed these virtues in portraying the character — got away from the script. Can you evenimagine knowing that your husband is cheating on you with Carrie, then finding her in your apartment, then calling after her to have a conversation, and instead tripping and falling down a flight of stairs and knocking your teeth out in front of her?! Then having The Other Woman accompany you to the hospital?! And holding yourself together with poise during the entire debacle? It’s too much — I have had to skip that episode, or at least that portion of it, in rewatches over the past few decades. I think that her outfit in that haunting scene — a sort of Nili Lotan riff on Nancy Meyers Hamptons core — amplified my reaction. Here is this elegant woman who is trying to speak with (not necessarily scream at, or confront) her husband’s mistress, wearing a calm, cool, and collected ensemble of neutrals (it could read either “oh, I just came back from Out East, where I might have been trimming hydrangeas and reading the latest Patchett” OR “I just got back from taking in the latest exhibit at the Met”) with a perfect 90s blowout. On that note, Natasha may well be why I respect Patricia Field (SATC’s legendary costume designer) the most. You can see she exercises restraint in her styling, whereas the other characters occasionally leer into costume territory. (Also enjoyable, but sometimes heavy-handed and distracting.) Natasha read like a more realistic version of a modern, chic New York woman — someone you’d take a second look at while browsing in a boutique or jumping on the Subway. An interesting choice, vis a vis Field, because she could have contributed to a cartooning, or even damning, of the character by dressing her differently.
Anyhow – you can see I Have Thoughts on Natasha, and a cursory skim of Reddit corroborated my sentiments. There is an entire “hot take” thread where people rally behind her in the series. I was charmed! The chatter led me to think about two things: 1) Who are the other secondary characters we love who don’t get enough limelight? Are they accidents or intentional foils? and 2) How we dress tells a story — what is mine telling today? The latter point gets at my recent musings on how anything, approached with intent and care, can be art. The way we dress, the way we style our bookshelves, the way we structure our days. (I am the thread. What am I stitching right now?) Sometimes I dress to feel comfortable in my own skin (I’m most myself, a body at rest, in a comfortable dress!); sometimes I pile on a bunch of pieces that I love (I call this “hero dressing“); other times, I dress for mood, as I did earlier this week, in my “Natasha outfit.” I had wanted to dress like I was on vacation. The weather had turned (75 much of this week!) and I’d had a string of good nights of sleep (praise be). I felt rested and happy and wanted to dress in a way that matched. The above look tumbled out!
But on the first point: who are the other secondary characters we love, and why? Was Natasha an accident, or outlier? We need flawed and complex primary characters to make stories work, and feel believable, and deliver enough friction to matter (e.g., invite climax and denouement), but secondary characters needn’t carry the weight of the narrative mechanics, and can be simpler, more one-dimensional. They don’t need to change. (Most stories work like this: outsider comes to town, or hero journeys away from home. In any case, there is a change in the main character because of these comings or goings.) Curious if you have any good examples of beloved side characters who occasionally outshine the leads?
(Above, wearing Hill House Home’s Cosima dress in the new shell print. I would go down a size in this. I’m typically an XS, but I own a striped version of this dress in an XXS and feel that it fits better, though the smocking is pretty snug. I tried this in the XS and think the arm holes are too big / bodice too loose. I wish I’d gotten an XXS. The print (tiny shells) is SO cute! Perfect vacation dress. Styled with this Sezane bag ($160 — I think a good value for the Loewe-esque look), Tecovas ostrich sandals (supremely comfortable — the footbed has a pillowy cushioning, and the ostrich material has a lot of give), and the Janessa Leone sunhat. Trying hard not to make the hat my entire personality.)
Also this week…
Neighborhood blooms popping off. So simple but just standing outside for a few minutes and observing the world can turn my day around. Nature is a live model for accepting change with grace!
I did not adequately extol the virtues of this $18 eye cream earlier this week, when I shared my favorite under-$20 beauty products. First: I’ve been waking up with puffy eyelids the past week. I think this is either because of pollen, or maybe I just needed to switch out my contacts sooner (I don’t use dailies), but this caffeine eye cream dramatically depuffs in a matter of minutes. It’s wild! I believe it’s the caffeine ingredient. Second: I had my makeup done this week and the artist was applying undereye concealer, and said: “Who does your undereye botox?” I do not get undereye botox, and said I’ve been using this $18 cream, and she was astounded! Take that for what you will — undereye botox for $18!
Random aside: I’m wearing the Quince supersoft fleece joggers and hoodie above. Literally a dream to wear — ultra brushed, sort of a thin, slouchy feeling. It’s my favorite Saturday night in / getting ready for the day outfit. I think the fit is not as flattering if you’re expecting company (at least IMO) or running errands, but it’s just the thing if you need to take care of yourself, move slowly, putter about at home. (If you’re looking for a more polished sweatsuit set, I still rec the Frank and Eileen ones!). Speaking of Frank and Eileen, they just released a striped version of our favorite popover henley, and I think I need it. One of you described this popover as “a young mom Diane Keaton vibe” and I totally see it. Easy, casual, but un-boring.
Speaking of self-care: I took a long, chilly run last Saturday morning, then took a hot shower, then applied this mask. IMO Clarins makes the best face masks. I also love their de-puffing one and use it often before a big night out, or situations where photographs will be taken, or special occasions. It chisels the facial features – I can’t explain it. You don’t even know you’re looking puffy until you use this. But the Cryo-Flash is a treasure, too: it’s like a cold plunge, and face feels invigorated, clear, happy afterwards. Both are included in Sephora’s ongoing sale.
I mentioned this yesterday, but I made the Hand Me the Fork shrub spritz and OMG. It was just what I wanted it to taste like — sweet, tart, fizzy, with a little kick of vinegar. We served them as cocktails with sparkling wine. Strongly recommend, with one modification: strain the shrub through a mesh sieve before using in a cocktail/mocktail. Otherwise, you wind up with lots of strawberry/raspberry seeds that aren’t pleasant to drink. (I used a blend of strawberries, raspberries, and golden berries.)
Chic provisions spotted at The Organic Butcher (our second home, I swear). A great spot to stop by if you want interesting fare for “gouter” (a French tradition of having a little snack in the early evening) — local cheeses, tinned fish, seasoned marcona almonds, cured meats, crackers that cost $22 (I kid…sort of), etc.
Picnic weather! We are long overdue for a picnic blanket upgrade and I’m eyeing this one. To be honest, Mr. Magpie and I both find the picnic blanket below a little triggering. We sat on it daily in Central Park during the depths of lockdown and the pandemic. Just seeing it brings us back to those slow days, when it felt like time was pooling in the middle of Manhattan, and we’d never get out.
(Exhibit A: my son’s perpetually dirty/muddy soles. I swear to God, I buy this boy a new pack of socks the first of each month, and they’re stained and destroyed by the end of week one.)
Speaking of socks: I restocked my favorite socks and added a new Nike set (top, bottoms) to the rotation. I wear the socks for working out, but also — everywhere? Under jeans, with sneaks, with boots. I love the tight weave. I have pixie feet (size 5 foot) and these actually fit my foot without that annoying baggy overhang at the heel. They have just the tiniest bit of compression – they feel like they’re hugging your foot. The bra runs a tad small – I find a lot of their sports bras do? – so I would size up, but love the fit and color.
P.P.P.S. In case you need encouragement in a big life change: you’re gonna love it.
By: Jen Shoop
Image via. This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
What I Loved This Week…
+MOCKTAIL: Saw this mocktail recipe from one of the two food bloggers I follow on Instagram, Maddy de Vita of Hand Me the Fork (other: Caro Chambers) and couldn’t get it out of my head. I absolutely love shrubs (vinegar-based syrup), and she makes her own and mixes with club soda. (You could also mix with sparkling wine for a twist on a spritz.) When I tell you that I careened to the grocery store to get all the ingredients…I did! (The video also inspired me to order glass straws for our bar.) Interesting, too – Brooks Reitz (a Substacker I now follow thanks to your suggestions!) just published a thoughtful little piece on the non-alcoholic movement. Interesting food for thought. I was taken by his comment that if he can’t have the BEST, he’s not going to drink alcohol. E.g., no bad airport wine or margarita. It really stuck with me!
+PRIORITIZING PLAY: I’ve been thinking about this beautiful interview all week. An older gentleman talks about how he wishes he could go back and spend more time playing with his family — it deeply moved me. It reminded me of a great set of couplets from a Mary Oliver poem titled “Blossom” (full poem here):
In April the ponds open like black blossoms, the moon swims in every one; there’s fire everywhere: frogs shouting their desire, their satisfaction. What we know: that time chops at us all like an iron hoe, that death is a state of paralysis. What we long for: joy before death, nights in the swale – everything else can wait
Everything else can wait. (I’ve written more about play, and the importance of seeking joy, here.)
+PILATES CULTURE: I laughed out loud at this SNL skit about Pilates culture. I attended one reformer class here in Bethesda and thought I was going to pass out. I was so intimidated (and in so much pain afterward) that I never redeemed the second two vouchers I’d bought for classes. I’m finding hot yoga to be a better fit. It’s fast-paced, dark, slightly intense, but the instruction is much gentler and no one really cares what you’re doing if you need to take a thirty second child pose break.
+SHOPPING: And just like that, it’s 75 degrees out. I wrote about my recent sunny weather purchases this week, but I’m strutting around everywhere with my new shades and sun hat. Currently in my cart (likely to be purchased soon): this swimsuit, this eyelet cover-up set. I also ordered one of these COS t-shirts, this “glass hair” product, and some Sephora goodies this week. Fun shopping week! I always love the turn in weather for season-ahead shopping.
+LISTENING: On my ever-evolving running play list, I added some rough and tumble folk-Southern-rock-country ballads this week: “Cumberland Gap” (David Rawlings), “Whitehouse Road” (Tyler Childers), “16 Carriages” (Beyonce), “Heroes Are Hard to Find” (Fleetwood Mac), and “Last Child,” by Aerosmith. I’m telling you, you will be flying with this mix. (Best running shoes here.) Also been enjoying Sidney Bechet for my Woody Allen moods (as I wrote earlier this week — it is good to romanticize your life!), and currently have this podcast queued for my next school drop off. (Have heard it’s excellent!)
+LEARNING: After writing about my worry nights, I came across this timely article from Goop, titled “Perimenopause Can Disrupt Your Sleep. Here’s What You Can Do about It.” In it, Dr. Baz Bhatia, an integrative medicine physician, observes that “When estrogen levels decline, serotonin production can also take a hit, affecting sleep quality. It’s also often the culprit behind other issues that can keep you awake, like hot flashes, heart palpitations, and racing thoughts.” A lot of her suggestions reflect my own conclusions (get to bed earlier! turn off screen!), but it just felt…good? reassuring? to connect some of these patterns I’ve noticed in myself to underlying physiological changes. Interesting!
+ZENDAYA’S THOM BROWNE LOOK: OMG, I couldn’t stop swooning! She is SO chic. The makeup, the bow, the earrings, the dress, the look!
What You Loved This Week…
A little groundswell of love for this $14 hair tool this week! (I love it, too – several of you wrote me about it and chimed in via the comments section here to corroborate.)
Responses to my last round of icebreakers continue to trickle in and delight. It’s not too late to share your own answers — so many funny, insightful, vulnerable, brave comments to read. I was particularly bowled over this week by Kristin’s comment that “Feelings aren’t right or wrong, but can be a valuable source of information.” Wow! Had to sit with that one for awhile — I like the way she frames emotions as an input. Not the full story, but also not something to discard or ignore.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about my heart necklace recently! It is the large heart ID necklace from Dorsey, 16.5″ length. I pair it most days with my Clemence necklace (16″ length), as you’ll see below. I got the 16.5″ length for the larger heart so it could play nicely with my Clemence and my smaller heart ID necklace, which I have in the 15.5″ length. The heart ID necklace is beautiful — a gorgeous, heavy weight — and I like both the large and small sizes but have been drawn to the heft of the larger one recently. I sleep in it!
The star of this week — my VB blazers! I lovethis Darla one with the denim trim — it feels youthful despite being a fairly conservative piece. I am so, so tired of winter wear but I think we’re finally seeing the promise of warmer spring days. (Hopefully the last week I need a blazer and a coat on top for awhile!) In general, I stuck to a “hero dressing” formula this week, meaning pairing my favorite basic pieces together versus looking for one statement dress, blouse, etc.
GREATNESS WINS RUNNING JACKET (VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE QUALITY / HOW THOUGHTFULLY DESIGNED THESE PIECES ARE…THE COMPANY WAS FOUNDED BY MISTY COPELAND SO WOULD EXPECT NO LESS!) // TRACKSMITH BASE LAYER
P.P.P.S. Giving yourself a soft landing when you need it.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
It’s been almost a year since my first Grub Street-inspired food diary, and several of you expressed an interest in a sequel, which I completely understand — I find food diaries such an intimate look into someone’s daily life, and, well, I love food. So here we are. A narrow way to follow me through three days earlier this week…
Sunday
We wake and toast the children some waffles, slather them with peanut butter (Teddie brand — IYKYK) and Bonne Maman strawberry jam, and serve alongside bananas. Then Mr. Magpie starts making our coffee (Sey beans, ground using a Fellow grinder and brewed in a Technivorm Moccamaster) while I toast a quarter of a baguette from A Baked Joint (procured at Organic Butcher), wrapped in foil, in the oven. We find this method warms and slightly toasts day-old bread without drying it out to cracker status. Then we slather with Plugra butter and the Bonne Maman jam. This invariably reminds us of the harried trip we took to New York City in order to scout an apartment when we were moving from Chicago to The Big Apple, and not necessarily in a warm and fuzzy way. The trip was knee-bucklingly stressful: you have less than 48 hours to find a suitable apartment that will not bankrupt you. You must do this with a seven-month-old baby strapped to your chest. You know nothing about the city, and you have a real estate agent who will horribly botch the situation. You absolutely must find a unit on this trip, as your husband starts work there in less than a month, and you have already begun the machinery of putting your Chicago house on the market and scheduling movers. Go.
Despite the high stakes circumstances, we did find little pockets of joy that weekend, including a breakfast of baguette with butter and jam from Levain at Amsterdam and 77th on the UWS, which we enjoyed on a bench in Central Park while mini burbled at us. We told ourselves, mainly through gritted teeth: “We can do this. We are doing this.” Even now, seven years later, a morning baguette feels like the breakfast of champions: we can, and we will.
We don’t necessarily need the energy heading into a lazy Sunday, but it charges us nonetheless. We enjoy our steeling breakfast over cups of coffee (half and half and a spoonful of sugar in mine; Mr. Magpie’s is black) and a game of Azul (I lost).
After Mass, we order Taco Bamba for lunch. I select the Fauda taco (seen above — fried, za’atar-spiced chicken with pickled red onion and a yogurt-dill sauce), which I can’t help myself from ordering time and time again (it is outlandishly good), and split a side of beans and rice with Mr. Magpie. Mr. Magpie is winningly strategic and orders not only his own trio of tacos for the meal but the delicious albeit unappealingly titled “Cup O Meat” — chorizo filling, four tacos, and toppings — for lunch the following day. We enjoy our plates on the front stoop of our home while our children picnic in the grass, eating bowls of buttered noodles and side platters of crudite and fruit.
Around four, my son and I cheers one another with sourdough pretzels. (Utz brand, not great. I like the ones from Uncle Jerry’s or Splits, but I’d been in a rush to buy road trip snacks at a Safeway and pickings were not as ample as I’d have liked. Sometimes I disguise a sub-par pretzel by dipping it straight into yellow mustard, but today I make do.) We’ve floated through an afternoon out on the front lawn with a picnic blanket, bubbles and sidewalk chalk, the neighbor boys who dropped by with Nerf guns, and my book (Horse, by Geraldine Brooks). I strategically leave my phone inside, and feel delightfully untethered. Mr. Magpie spends the entire afternoon, by contrast, in postures of exertion: he mows the lawn, pulls the weeds, moves sticks and brambles out of the garden beds, washes the interior and exterior of the car. A year or two ago, a friend of his said: “You know, you can pay to have people do those things,” and I could see something flinty in Mr. Magpie’s eye.
Around five thirty, I wander down to the garage with two margaritas. (I’ve perfected the recipe: 2 oz blanco tequila, preferably G4 or Espolon; 3/4 oz Cointreau; 1 oz fresh squeezed lime; 1/4 oz agave. Shake with ice. Strain over ice in a rocks glass with a salted rim.) We enjoy these as we catch up and he finishes polishing the interior leather seats.
For dinner, we tuck into leftover grilled boneless short rib from Banks Mountain Farm (enthusiastically recommended by our buddies at Organic Butcher) from the previous night, when Mr. Magpie christened the charcoal Weber Kettle with its inaugural grilling session of the warm weather season! He served with grilled red bell peppers and sauteed broccolini, both dressed in a vinegar-parm-olive oil concoction, and oven roasted potatoes. He pours us a full-bodied Rioja to accompany. (Did you know that Riojas have sticker designations on the back — a green sticker means it’s a younger wine; a yellow sticker means it’s moderately aged; a red sticker means it’s well-aged? I’m sure there are more technical explanations for the labels, but this is the gist — and price tends to be commensurate with color. We enjoy a red label one tonight. Why not?!)
Before bed, the children enjoy brownies that we made from a Ghirardelli box mix the night prior. I always add a splash of vanilla, a handful of good chopped chocolate, and, if on hand (which rarely it is), a teaspoon of instant coffee — hacks from Ina G. The additions really do enhance the flavor. By the time put the children down, finish the second part of the first Dune movie (we cannot make it through a 2+ hour movie in one night any more…), Mr. Magpie and I are full and sleepy, and forget to dish the brownies out for ourselves.
Monday
Back to school after ten days of spring break! The morning is a blur of cereal bowls and the incorrect uniform components being pulled on and thrown off. I drop off the children, return home to scarf down half a banana and a mug of coffee, and then turn right back around to go back to the school because I realize I’ve forgotten to give my son his dose of Amoxicillin. (Who else has felt she’s bought out the county’s supply of antibiotics this long winter season?!) After, I drive to hot yoga, then take a hot shower, then count the minutes until lunch, as I’m famished. We eat the Taco Bamba leftovers with Nojito flavored Spindrifts for lunch. The key to a great second day meal from Taco Bamba is toasting the tortillas in a pan, and covering all food with a wet paper towel before placing in the microwave — this prevents the rice and meat from drying out.
For dinner, Mr. Magpie makes “sugar fish,” or miso-glazed black cod. It takes several days to marinate, and my God is it delicious. The marinade has a good amount of sugar in it that caramelizes in the oven to leave a syrupy-sweet, crisp coating. He serves this with rice finished with seaweed salt, prepared in our Cuckoo rice cooker (Mr. Magpie did ample research and determined this style, from a Korean company, was the top of the line; it makes charming train sounds as the cooking process completes); an enormous bowl of steamed and salted edamame; and bok choy dressed in garlic and sesame oil. To our delight, our daughter inhales everything on her plate. My son gags on the bok choy and flat out refuses the fish — we know this is out of principle rather than experience, as bok choy is blander than broccoli, and he eats that by the fistful. Sigh. We are stuck in a picky phase despite trying every suggestion in the book. I am resigned to the situation but it routinely upsets my talented chef of a husband.
After dinner, I have a few fistfuls of leftover jelly beans from Easter, and decide, for the trillionth time, that I don’t like jelly beans.
Tuesday
I pour myself a bowl of Aspen Meusli with oat milk and diced bananas. I have this obsession with meusli — there used to be a chain of French cafe/bakeries in D.C. with an outpost in Georgetown called Marvelous Market and I would stop to get their overnight meusli, studded with dried fruit and slivered almonds, at least once or twice a week when I was going to grad school and then working down south of M Street. (I’d get this along with what my sister and I called “ice cream coffees,” because they were ultra-blond roast iced coffees they’d mix with a heavy hand of half and half. RIP Marvelous Market — we loved you!) Anyhow, I have been determined to figure out how they prepared that meusli for years, but for now, a bowl with cold oat milk will do. I eat this with a hot cup of coffee.
Mr. Magpie is enjoying a third day of Taco Bamba leftovers (truly, a good deal, and we are leftover warriors — we will eat until the leavings are done! I mention this because it astounded us to learn that some people categorically hate leftovers?! Like, it’s a thing!), but there aren’t enough for two lunches, so I “scrounge,” as Mr. Magpie and I put it. This usually means a fried egg on an English muffin or a packet of ramen from the pantry, but today I have a piece of toast with Teddie’s peanut butter and some sliced banana on top. (I’d not used a full banana in my meusli and it looked so sad half-gone in the fridge.) I have Martin’s kettle chips on the side, along with an iced tea Spindrift.
I kiss my children and husband good bye and rush out the door to drive downtown to meet my friend Jacqueline for dinner. Jacqueline is a food and travel writer, and in town to review a recently revamped Westin property down at 9th and New York. It is 70 degrees out, and I blast Sidney Bechet with my windows down as I coast down Mass Ave, taking in the stately embassies and several of DC’s prettiest circles. I imagine the montage vis a vis the lens of a Woody Allen film. It is good to romanticize your life! Jaci and I sample a few things from the hotel’s Root and Vine menu — warmed olives, whipped feta, roasted brussels, and a pepperoni and hot honey pizza. The food is fine but the company is spectacular. It feels lovely to shake up a Tuesday in this way.
I return home and pour myself into bed at 10:15 — well past my normal curfew — but not before rousing Mr. Magpie to catch up on the day.
+I own this denim maxi skirt in the bone color and love her, especially during transitional months (summer to fall, spring to summer). She looks SO good with a simple white tee, leather sandals, and big shades. I’m actually wearing this outfit as I type. I’m intrigued by Still Here because someone recently wrote that the founders are conceiving of the brand as “the new Gap.” Lots of timeless basics that suit all different wardrobes, style types, etc. Obviously, the price point is much higher but I do get the analogy.
+The item I was most excited to receive from my Sephora sale order: this concealer brush that people keep raving about. I also got a bunch of items from Charlotte Tilbury, inspired by Emma Stone (especially excited about this cheek color), and stocked up on Kosas Airbrow. They are still running the tiered sale (up to 20% off through 4/15 depending on your status), and my top picks here.
+I’ve been so focused on my hair health this year — I’ve bought and tried SO many items. As you know, I’m a huge fan of Roz, and I really think this rosemary mint hair oil ($10!) helps with luster, strand strength, overall happiness of my hair (especially since I style it with hot tools every 2-3 days). I also just ordered this “glass hair” product after seeing it marketed on Instagram. The gal’s hair looked ridiculously good! Worth a shot.
+Speaking of those stickers — Joy Creative Club has some cute personalized paper options for end of year teacher gifts. I always think about a teacher (and Magpie reader) who once wrote me and said that teachers really want a nice, thoughtful note and a gift card (to Amazon, Target, etc). I tend to stick by that but sometimes bundle with a little something extra, like a notepad, or maybe these Patchology masks? Who wouldn’t want those coasting into the summer?!
