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+RELAXATION IS WHO YOU ARE: I came across a quote attributed to a Chinese proverb last week: “Tension is who you think you should be; relaxation is who you are.” Did your shoulders loosen up just a little bit? I love the visual of relaxing into oneself — not standing taut or strained or pretzeled around an expectation.
+GO TO NORWAY: Loved this quirky and resonant post from D. Coffyn. I felt a lump in my throat at “Befriend every dog.” Isn’t life better with them around? I’ve been missing our Tilly girl and am trying to convince Mr. Magpie to get a dog for the family for Christmas. Separately, love the injunction to become “the patron saint of fireflies.” Each year in late June to early July, they appear in unbelievable quantities in the trees around our Bethesda home. We routinely sit out on the front stoop to take them in for those two orgiastic weeks. So, yes, I’ll take that sainting title.
+BOHO MIXING AND MATCHING:This snap from Alice Pilate made me want to dress with more abandon — love the play of materials, styles, patterns, etc! She’s wearing a top from Milanese label Emily Levine, which I’ve come across a few times this summer — wonder if any stateside retailers will be carrying her in the future? The shoes (Alaia I’m pretty sure) also made me excited for this Amazon look for less pair I ordered a few weeks ago to arrive!
+GOOD WRITING ADVICE: I loved this excerpt from Ira Glass. It applies liberally to any creative undertaking, but of course I drew it to my writerly self. “It is only going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.” Yes! Get out there and shake hands with that blank page! Or as Anne Lamott put it famously, write “bird by bird.” (In reference to this passage from her excellent book: “Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”)
+EYEING + BUYING: This VB blazer might be my favorite item I’ve ever gotten from them, which is saying a lot because I’m obsessed with everything I have of theirs. The trim reminds me of the Celine styles, and I love that pop of cherry red lining. Just imagine with everyday denim (I have a whole post on pre-fall finds / early fall trends coming out this week, and I think barrel / darted / gaucho styles will remain relevant) and flats this fall…
+DESIGNER BAG SHOPPING: I’m really in the mood for a new bag for fall. A part of me wonders if I should see if I can buy something fabulous while in Italy in the late fall — would be such a fabulous memento of a great time, and you can often get a better price on the European designers when abroad. A few of the designer ones that I am obsessed with: one of the Loro Piana vanity bags; Bottega Sardine bags, vanity bags, or totes (drool in the brown suede); a Goyard bucket crossbody in green or another interesting color; a Celine Small 16. More realistic would be something under the $2K price point — a Savette Pochette, Toteme T-Lock, this Metier, or one of these gorgeous Tods bags (select colors on sale for almost 50% off?!). Under $1K picks: basically anything from Little Liffner, especially this or this, and this Altuzarra. I’ve been so impressed with my Watermill tote this summer – great quality and fantastic details. I also don’t see them carried much out and about. I’m currently trying to decide what shape / size is the best investment for everyday wear — like, what is something I won’t hesitate to grab that can fit the essentials and then some? I love a tote because I can just throw everything in, but routinely wear smaller buckets / crossbodies, too. The pochette is probably too impractical. What bags are on your radar?
BESTSELLERS: This under-$50 denim popover dress is reminiscent of Veronica Beard but at a much better price. Wear now with leather sandals and later with tall boots! Also can’t believe how many of you purchased this chic soap pump!
Last Friday, I posted an Instagram story about Mr. Magpie and I peeling off for some time at the adult pool, just the two of us. He has Summer Fridays (a blessed vestige of the NYC commuter lifestyle of yore), and we decided to make the most of his free late afternoon. We met up with a few friends, enjoyed a cocktail and a quiet dinner, and were home by 8:30 and in bed a little after. This invited an unexpected, staccato sequence of conversations with Magpie readers, most of which fell into two categories (paraphrasing): “But tell me more – how do you handle this, logistically?!” and “I’m inspired by this but can’t get over the Mom guilt of leaving my kids with someone else during the witching hour.”
Logistics are easy: we had our neighborhood sitter come by from 4-8-ish and scheduled to have a pizza delivered around 6. But I was knocked sideways by the “Mom guilt” comment. I manage to find guilt in everything and yet its familiar shape hadn’t crept through the lintels of my Friday afternoon-to-early-evening date arrangement. How could that be?
Do you feel guilty leaving your children at bedtime?
I’ve reflected on this intensively for the past week.
Maybe because I’ve worked from home for my children’s entire lives, and am available to them for most of the day, I don’t consider the bedtime hour any different from any other hour of the day? It’s just another time of day to be a mother? And there will be hundreds of other bedtimes, alongside mornings, noons, and midnights, to be called upon? I’m imagining a different scenario: I am working outside the home, and the hours between 6 and 8 p.m. at night are my primary time to connect with my children. Then, yes, I think the equation would feel different?
And yet those mothers, too, need breaks from bedtime. And it doesn’t seem fair to feel guilty about missing a handful of them a year.
Another hypothesis: maybe bedtimes aren’t as fraught for me as they are for other mothers? I mean, let me be clear: it feels like the final, occasionally impossible, hurdle to clear, and there are nights where I am zapped of all energy and sentiment, and I more or less throw them into their beds, speed-read through a chapter of a book, and turn off the lights. But I think because Mr. Magpie and I follow a two-nights-on-two-nights-off pattern, where I handle bedtime two nights in a row, and he handles them for the subsequent two, they feel more manageable? And maybe the fact that he and I have our own ways of approaching bedtime (still following the same general arc) means that our kids accommodate modest changes in routine at this hour, which makes it easier for me to invite a sitter in and trust that all will be well? Or maybe I’m less connected in some way to the bedtime routine because I only do it half the week (Mr. Magpie handling the other half), and perhaps other mothers find it more deeply woven into the fabric of their motherhood experience? And in turn there is anxiety about missing one? Especially if she is the only one who handles it, night in and night out? I can easily imagine stress there.
I can’t speak for any other mamas, but those are some possibilities?
Digging deeper, here are some reassuring thoughts that crossed my mind as I puzzled at my complete lack of guilt over the Friday afternoon date:
01. It is probably healthful to have my kids be put down by other people? There will be (and have been) situations and occasions where this will need to happen. Good practice. I do worry any time one of my children insists “only mama can do x.” An alarm goes off in my head and I immediately get to work finding ways to help them learn to do the task independently, or accept another person’s scaffolding. It is beautiful to be needed (and wanted, and called for), but the anticipator in me is conjuring all kinds of incidents in which I won’t be present and they will melt down?
02. I like the idea of modeling a devoted marriage for them. Of course I’m enjoying the date itself, but I don’t mind the tertiary benefit of them seeing us prioritize our relationship and lean into time alone, together. My parents were up front about this when I was growing up, too — I can recall weeping as my mother left for various trips abroad, and her saying: “Jennifer, this is time for your Dad and I, and it’s important.” Just last weekend, my daughter overheard my mother and I talking about our planned trip to Italy this fall, and she interjected: “But why can’t I come?” My mother reflexively responded with the same talking points she used when I was a child, as if she were talking to a seven year old me. “Your mom needs time with her best friend!”
03. As mentioned above, bedtimes are the final hurdle of the day as a parent. I hope you won’t judge me for saying that sometimes I am relieved to miss it. It’s nice to have that break, to give myself a little hall pass.
04. My kids are easier on sitters than they are on me, even when they are over-tired (!). And the sitters get to tap out at 8, even if the kids are still awake. I baby-sat and nannied for years (entire summers of my life) and can’t recall a single situation in which I thought, “well this mother really left me in the lurch here.” Sitters are meant to be indulgent. I recall reading books and telling stories by flashlight well past bedtime to calm my charges — and it always felt fun and empowering to me, and special for the children. I soothe myself with those thoughts if I’m worried one of my children is missing me, or having a hard time going to sleep, or out of sorts. It’s temporary, and they’re probably being spoiled!
05. The night after our date night, my son woke me up four times between the hours of 12-4 a.m. These can be difficult interruptions — I am exhausted, and sometimes short on patience; I just want to get him resituated as quickly as possible so I can get back to sleep. On this night, carried forward by some unknown motherhood grace, I was able to accept the wake-ups and present my calmest self to him. I had observed that he’d been out of sorts the previous week owing to a new camp (new rules, new faces, new places!) and surmised that perhaps these sleep disruptions were part of the adjustment — and was in turn able to accept them with an internal quiet that, trust me, I cannot always muster at 3 a.m. I found myself thinking about what it meant to be the first person he cries out for when he wakes and is upset. Like, what an absurd honor to be someone’s safe space? I bring this up here because it occurred to me that it didn’t matter that I’d missed bedtime the night before. I was still his safe place, and I still have hundreds of (daily!) opportunities to reassure, comfort, support him. Perhaps having had the break gave me a new lease on that mentality?
What do you think? So curious to hear your thoughts on this topic! Do you have guilt leaving your kids for bedtime? Why or why not? How have you talked yourself into or out of guilt with this arrangement?
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+I have been stalking these Loro Piana bags (crazy expensive, even on resale) and love the look / shape. I found this insanely cute bag in a similar shape for under $100 and it’s currently in my cart as a way to scratch the itch.
+OK, results are in. I really like this “dream coat” thermal blow out spray (rec’d by Julia Amory). Gives you a really smooth, polished blow-out. Great for a 90s style smooth-and-straight look.
+Just starting using these resurfacing pads this week — impressed. Similar to the YSE ones I raved about earlier this week (and just ran out of). There is something so delightful about this kind of product after a good cleanse — it feels like you’re really getting every last speck of anything off your face and starting with a fresh canvas. I love to use these at the end of a long, hot, sweaty day.
+Old Navy is bringing it with their pre-fall assortment. Love this denim skirt, and so many of you bought this denim dress (which feels very Veronica Beard to me). Wear now with leather sandals and later with tall boots.
+Just got my daughter a few new activity books for rainy days and upcoming travel — how cute is this one? She’s going to love it. Also eyeing one of these illustrated Bibles for her as a back to school gift.
+Some really good finds in the Net-A-Porter sale section. Love this Cara Cara (right under $200 – great for wedding, cocktail party, etc!), these trendy Isabel Marant sandals, and this kiwi green evening dress (would look incredible with big jewel earrings and a fuchsia satin heel). I know it’s hard to buy boots right now, but it would be a great time to snag these chic Staud suede ones or invest in Toteme’s while 40% off…! Finally, their Doen sale section is amazing – on par with Doen’s recent warehouse sale. Consider this top or this $64 one (!!!) to pair with white shorts now and jeans in fall, and this under-$100 dress to pair with strappy black sandals for date night. I organized all my picks into one visual shopping shelf here.
+Hill’s pajamas above are Lake and one of the, like, three items not included in their ongoing sale. My toxic trait is honing in on any item “excluded from promotion.” Other cute prints are included!
Just trying to get ahead of the back to school craziness! I received my children’s school shopping lists last week and was mildly gobsmacked by its imminence. Below, 16 amazing finds for fellow anticipators:
01. Obsessed with these jammies for boys and girls as a back-to-school gift. I often “gift” my kids new pajamas at a specific moment — the night before school, Halloween night, etc., as a way of marking the occasion and making it special vs. just passing them new pajamas when they arrive. These ones can be paired with the matching eye mask — surprisingly, my son loves sleeping with these on! Sometimes he borrows my Slip eye mask, too. (And — while talking sleepwear, Lake’s summer sale is going on right now, and you can get jammies for kids in great prints on sale here!)
02. My son’s obsession: his new Sambas. Adidas sent a pair for he and my daughter and I just couldn’t hold them back for the school year — he’s been wearing them around the clock.
03. Just stocked up on these in navy for my son’s uniform.
04. Kids’ dictionary. Bought this for my daughter!
05. Sweetest back to school dress. I miss those days! Now my children wear uniforms from day one, but it used to spark such joy to get my girl all dolled up in a new dress with a big bow on back to school day.
06. My son is using his camp backpack above, from Paravel (currently on sale for $27!) — it’s very small and can scarcely hold a lunchbox/snack pack and water bottle, so not great for school year but I do recommend it for toddlers / pre-schoolers / travel days because it weighs NOTHING and can hold just the essentials. For older kids, love the backpacks from State. This gingham number, this pink metallic, and this ice cream cone print are adorable. My kids have ones from Crate and Barrel that they picked last year but they’ve taken a beating! Time for a refresh!
07. THE best snack pouches — put them in the freezer the night before. Keeps snacks cold all day long.
09. Stocking up on extra underwear — the patterns on these are so cute. Hill owns these in a few patterns.
10. I have a pennant like this that says first day of school on the front / last day of school on the back that we’ve used for years. These grade-specific ones I found on Amazon are very cute too — I’d order now! I’m sure they will sell out closer to the start of the school year.
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It’s been a minute since I’ve tackled your questions!
Q: Looks for the US Open.
A: I’d wear an easy dress like this with flat sandals and a great bag that can be worn crossbody — feels low-key, chic, functional. I also like something like this, this, or this with a classic leather sandal and a bag with brown leather trim. Alternately, try a patterned pair of shorts or skirt with a white tank and t-strap sandals. My rules are: flat shoes, something that feels good in heat, and free hands.
A: I loved using my Goyard St. Louis PM. I also love these Anya Hindmarch totes — have the Goyard vibe but less than half the price, and the eyes are cheeky. More reasonably priced: Rue de Verneuil totes!
And of course this Veronica Beard! I know many of you purchased this. I think you could dress up with a mule and some earrings, or it’d be perfect for a preppy/nautical rehearsal dinner.
Q: Speakers.
A: Can’t say enough good things about our new living room speaker — attractive, sounds great, easy to use (can integrate with Siri/Alexa). We bought on Prime Day but it’s still discounted!
Q: Nicer white tees and tanks to wear with fancier skirts — Julia Amory, Agua!
A: I love Sezane’s Juan tank and SoldOut.NYC’s scoop neck tank for this use case! For tees, I like Uniqlo (polished, heavy weight with a bit of structure) and SoldOut’s iconically soft tee — also looks polished, but drapes a bit more. SoldOut has offered us 15% off sitewide with JEN15.
Q: Amazing scented shampoo for color treated hair.
A: Oribe shampoo for beautiful color. IMO, there is no shampoo scented more luxuriously. And, it’s fantastic for color treated hair.
Q: Quiet luxury bag under $300.
A: I love the chic styles from Little Liffner. If you use code YOUROCK, this mini bag comes in just under $300. I would also specifically stalk Hunting Season on TRR. Their bags are so unbelievably chic — most around $700 (right now you can get this one for under $400 on their site brand new) — but you can often find gently used ones for under $300 on TRR, like this and this (like a slightly larger version of the Celine phone sling I’ve been using all season). A great buy. (P.S. Speaking of Celine phone sling – this one just arrived on TRR. Run! These always get snapped up and this little bag has been one of my favorite pieces this summer. Was SO good while on vacation.)
By: Jen Shoop
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I can’t stop with red this summer — a few recent finds I’m loving, starting with my red shorts (15% off with JEN15) and ladybug suit (seen above). More below!
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I wake up at seven when Mr. Magpie springs out of bed. We take turns “getting up with the kids” — two days on, two days off — and this is one of my “sleep-in” mornings, which feel deliciously slow during the summer, as we have nowhere to be until we leave for the children’s camp drop-off at 8:30 a.m. It’s astonishing how baggy an extra forty-five minutes feels in the morning. I send off a praying hands emoji to the digital prayer circle (text thread) my mother, sister, and I participate in daily, and then check my emails. Then I’m up for my A.M. skincare regimen. I get dressed (today: Sezane button-down, Madewell shorts – go one size down; run big, Hermes Orans, By Pariah earrings), put on makeup and perfume, and head downstairs for the day. My children greet me the same way they always do as I descend: “The. great. mamooooo!!!!”, as though tiny announcers for WWE. (If it’s Landon coming downstairs, it’s: “The. great. dadoooo!”) I ask how they’ve slept, ruffle their hair, and assess how much they’ve eaten of their breakfasts. Then Mr. Magpie hands me a green smoothie (kale, banana, avocado, OJ) and we slip outside to the back porch to have an impromptu huddle about whether we’re going to send our son into camp today. (These deliberations must be kept out of earshot to a) complete the conversation without immediate interruption and b) prevent little ears from taking information and using it against us. My daughter is an expert litigator at age 7 and will use any “but what about…” musings as incontrovertible evidence to be lobbed against us.) My son was under the weather over the weekend, and here is one of the ongoing shocks of parenthood: that no one is going to tell you what to do with your kids in these situations. I still find those calls complex, even 7.5 years into the practice of motherhood. He seems better today (eating a full breakfast, chipper!), but do we keep him home just in case? As always, I err on the side of “keep him home” and Mr. Magpie on the side of “send him in,” but we both agree it’s better to let him rest. Immediately after announcing he won’t be going to camp, my daughter demands to stay home, and my son starts ping-ponging around the house, all traces of illness absent. Onward.
I manage to settle my son into an armchair with a stack of books while accommodating my daughter’s hair style request (a braid today; space buns yesterday). I submit an absentee form for my son online, pack my daughter’s water and snacks for the day (lunch provided at camp — praise be), supervise her shoe-tying (a new skill), finish my smoothie, send off a few texts to one of my Magpie team members (I have a few contractors who help with various aspects of my blog), and then we scurry out the door. I placate her huffiness (“it’s so unfair he gets to stay home”) with “you can pick whatever music you’d like in the car ride.” (A constant battle site between the two of them.) She requests Family Dance Party Playlist and off we go, blasting “Cake By the Ocean” at 8:33 a.m. After drop off, I switch to “Fleetwood Mac” and collect myself on the short ride home.
Back home, Mr. Magpie and I launch into a few urgent STPs (Shoop Talking Points) we’d been putting off, mainly around travel logistics for two upcoming trips, over coffee. It’s like threading a moving needle as we evaluate his remaining PTO, flights, credit card points, loyalty programs at various airlines, other happenings on our calendar, etc. My son chirps interruptions every 3-4 minutes. “Can I have a coloring page?” “Can I have Cheetohs?” “This is what a polar bear looks like,” “Remember that time on the ride?” At a good breaking point, we pause our conversation so I can go down to the basement to focus on him for a little bit. “Let’s play a game. It’s called family,” he announces. He’s arranged various stations around the basement — magnatiles in one part (“the restaurant”), a tent with Go Fish in another, a pile of “snacks” (more magnatiles) guarded by a tiny Buzz Lightyear figurine, and a big map spread out on the ground that he in turn uses to guide our movements on an imaginary plane. I love the idea that “family” to him is one big adventure: the two of us moving around from station to station, seeing alligators, eating magnatile hamburgers, and then playing a full round of Go Fish in a tent. I am so deeply relieved that he seems to feel better today, and I interrupt his imagination several times to squeeze him. “Mamaaaa,” he protests. I spiral when my children are unwell, worrying about having missed a symptom, anxious to make them comfortable, and can’t suppress my relief at his rebound.
I then go upstairs with my boy at my heels to finish the travel logistics conversation with Mr. Magpie and get some of the details off to our travel agent. This is the first time we’ve ever used a travel agent and her counsel has been welcome and relieving — Landon and I are heading to Italy in the fall and there are so many moving parts that it’s been wonderful to have someone advising us on where to fly into (and why), how many days to stay, handling hotel reservations, etc. I am pinching myself as we have these conversations. This will be our first long trip abroad in a decade, and the longest we’ve ever spent away from our children. Even during this brief exchange, my son steadily drops his own requests and commentary every 30 seconds. It can be very challenging to complete a single sentence in our home.
Then Mr. Magpie digs into his work day (he is more or less on the phone at all hours of the day — the life of a remote senior leader!) and I situate my son with some coloring pages and activity books and get to my desk. I will admit I am relieved when he announces he’d prefer to work in his room than at my feet, where he normally stations himself during “sick days.” Even with him in the other room, I already anticipate today will be a choppy day of half-productivity with my little shadow at my side, and that’s OK. It’s all about headspace.
I text my mother and then clip into my workday. I write first, and then consult my ticklist of action items — interacting with brands, working with my consultants on various aspects of the blog business, and a few personal items (appointments, returns, etc). I am always the most limber and creative first thing in the morning — my mind slowly turns to rock over the course of the day. I’ve learned to carve out the early hours for “maker’s time.”
We break for lunch at noon. A year or two ago, I promised myself I’d never eat lunch at my desk again. This is one of the glorious allowances of working for myself: I can make such declarations, and see it through. I find taking a proper break for lunch sets a gracious pace for my day and introduces a needed pause at midday. It’s also a way of drawing my stated values into alignment with my actions: philosophically, I am in search of whole numbers and wider margins in my life. I don’t want to be busy. So here we are, breaking for lunch on a daily basis. We eat leftover Greek pasta salad — I used Caroline Chambers’ delicious recipe — and my son has a leftover slice of pizza, cucumbers and peppers, a few rounds of salami, and a big serving of fruit. He’s still a year or two away (in my calculus) from willingly eating a mixed pasta salad. We’ve finally crossed that threshold with mini, but are still in the “separate foods and general pickiness” phase with him. I’ve made peace with this. (If you’re in the weeds with this, you might find comfort in the wise comments and suggestions in response to my post titled: “How do you get your children to eat?“)
Midway through lunch, my son notices a red-bellied hummingbird in the kiwi vines behind us. Incredible how children are naturally adept at things like noticing birds. I have been making a mild study of birding myself (with this book and this one) and some of the literature is almost embarrassingly basic in the sense that my son could teach me this: to be a good birder, you must stay still and watch, with no sudden movements. I text my sister-in-law, a more advanced birder, because she’d just messaged me about the hummingbirds in her mother’s garden the night before, and here one is, at my porch, reminding yet again me that our lives become mosaics of the people we love.
After lunch, I clean the dishes and eat one of the black and white cookies from the brand Oh My God that my girlfriend brought by the other day. They’re shockingly good — fresh, and just like the ones we used to get in NYC — and I will be ordering them as gifts. Then I retreat to my office to edit an essay and adapt some of my writings to share them on Instagram in appropriately-sized slides. (I use Canva.) Somehow, my son entertains himself quietly with Legos for most of this period. Then I pack up my daughter’s bathing suit and goggles in my new Bogg bag and make her a snack — a mini bagel and cream cheese alongside some cut fruit; these are my favorite little post-camp snack containers as they feel like the perfect size and I like the way it invites me to serve her fruit or veg alongside something with protein — as she is routinely ravenous after camp, and will need the sustenance before swim team starts at 4. As I walk out the door, I learn swim practice has been canceled owing to rain, so I pick her up and take her with me to the grocery for a few ingredients Mr. Magpie needs for dinner. More Family Dance Party, several dispatches from my daughter’s day at camp, then home. I make my daughter and son yet another snack, as both insist they are starving, and then negotiate with them about getting into the bath. One of my biggest parenting “hacks” (hate that word) is to bathe them before dinner. One less hurdle at the day’s finish line. Both routinely protest getting in and then promptly refuse to get out. I am happy to acquiesce on the latter. I let both of them prune in the tub. After, I permit them time on their iPads. My daughter is still patching for her amblyopia, and we find it’s easiest to let her ease into her two hour patch session with iPad, especially after a long day of camp and swim.
I return to my desk to edit a few photos and work on a shopping blog post before “closing up shop.” I close most tabs, clear my desktop, turn off the lights, stack my notepads. Then, I switch into a Mirth Caftan dress (past-season print, but I think this is the current version). One thing I’ve noticed about their dresses is that they pay a lot of attention to fabric — I find I want to live in them in the evening hours. They are all soft, brushed cottons in loose and drapey fits. I also own and love this striped style I just received a few weeks ago — it’s almost like a triple gauze robe material? Absolutely divine. I touch up my makeup and spritz on some perfume. I normally do this little refresh around this time as a way to toggle between my writer self and my mom self — a way to buffer! — even though the summer’s schedule has been more mottled than usual. It feels nice to officially mark the end of the day, or the start of the evening wind-down, by switching into something else.
Back downstairs, it’s five o’clock somewhere. Well, technically, it’s 6:05, and we mix up a batch of La Bombas as a prelude to the the absolute feast Mr. Magpie has been working on for several days now. He purchased the Maydan cookbook during Prime Day and has been speaking in exclamation points about it as he’s pored over it since receiving. (If you’re local to DC, you must visit Maydan — one of our top five favorite DC restaurants.) We have the music going — right now, the routine seems to be Carly Rae Jepsen (or other female pop) while prepping dinner, and then a fade into Frank Sinatra during dinner. Around 6:30, we decide that dinner is going to be too late to serve the children, so I make some buttered noodles, freezer meatballs, and edamame and cut up some fruit alongside. We try to eat the same meal, all together, as often as possible, but sometimes it’s too difficult to get the meal on the table by the time Mr. Magpie finishes his workday. So the children eat separately while Mr. Magpie mans the grill and I work on cleaning the kitchen, which is a Thanksgiving Dinner-grade amount of bowls, tools, and cutting boards owing to the massive undertaking happening in our kitchen. Mr. Magpie apologizes for this, saying “I know your time is occasionally collateral damage when I get into these cooking moods,” but I am quick to wave him off. I do close to zero cooking and meal planning thanks to him; cleaning is a lean pittance given how well I eat.
Normally, we have this system we love where one of us is “on” for two days with wake ups and bedtimes, and then “off” for two days while the other spouse handles those parts of the day. This enables us to both take breaks and also have one-on-one QT with the children. We love the feel of this. On a logistical level, since it’s one parent on deck at bedtime each night, this means he or I put down our son first and our daughter next, separately and in tandem — which also works with their ages / bedtimes and prevents them from squabbling at a time when everyone is already a bit over-tired. My son has not napped since he was three on the dot and he is still (at just-five) exhausted by seven p.m. My daughter routinely stays up reading until 8 or 8:30. We are pretty lax with her about bedtime, and generally give her the responsibility of putting herself to bed when she feels ready. This occasionally backfires but has been a great way to teach her to listen to her body and to give her a long leash in a low risk area. (Independence goals!)
Tonight, given that Mr. Magpie is at the grill, I tap in for bedtime. We generally follow the two-nights-on-two-nights-off pattern but are fluid with it depending on what’s happening. When my son is “down” and my daughter is nestled in her room with her audiobook on, we plate up the Maydan Feast and sit at the kitchen counter to eat and digest our day together. We sometimes watch TV after or during dinner, but tonight, we linger over our plates before deciding, around 9:15, it’s time to turn in.
We put the house to sleep — lock all doors, turn off all lights, turn on the dishwasher — and run through our nighttime skincare routines. I read a few pages of my book on Kindle and fall asleep immediately.
+I’m telling you, this is the best sweatshirt for lounging on a Friday night — feels vintage right out of the box and has a perfect loose boxy fit with the unrolled hem. This is one of those products I 100% know you will write to me about after receiving.
+This dress arrived and OMG. The fit is insanely good. You can see me trying it (in motion!) on here. I have this set aside for an event I’m attending in a few weeks!
+We met up with some friends at the adult pool last Friday and my girlfriend was wearing one of these iconic Eres suits. Incredibly chic. I wore my Follow Suit Flora (in this exact color combo) — these sell out SO fast and have sold through multiple times this summer. You can find a few more here and here. Run TTS and I find very flattering — a perfect fit. Full coverage in rear, a little saucier at the bust. You can see me in it here.
+I can never have enough striped sweaters — these are on super sale at J. Crew and come in the best colors! Love the navy and especially that athletic green!
+Updated my Shopbop hearts! My $42 earrings arrived and they look much more expensive than they are (and are lighter weight than anticipated), and I’m loving these striped lounge pants (La Ligne vibes).
+My sister brought me this lip balm from her recent trip to France and I know have it sitting on my desktop — great moisture and also a sweet reminder of my thoughtful sister. More of my European pharmacy favorites here.
+Have been using this body wash and it smells absolutely divine.
By: Jen Shoop
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I’ve been inspired by all the chic peas sporting statement pants this summer — the look is effortless yet pulled together. Frankly, I’ve surprised myself by becoming more of a separates gal this year. For as long as I can remember, I’ve reached for dresses day in and day out — but now I find myself branching out into shorts and pants with fervor. Maybe an age thing?
Anyhow, this summer’s offerings have made the transition to separates easy, because there are such great options. A few of my favorites below:
01. Seen above: These eyelet pants paired with my Sezane bag (sold out in mini, but larger size here), Hermes sandals (look for less here), and La Ligne sweater (look for less here).
04. I also ordered these — $55 and so fun in the navy! (Ed. note: I received and had to return because the sizing is very idiosyncratic here! Check the sizing grid!)
05. Similar style but with a bit more polish/finish thanks to the belted waist here and on sale.
07. Leg-lengthening stripes here. Dress up or down!
08. La Ligne’s can’t-keep-in-stock Colby pants were just restocked (use MAGPIE10 for 10% off). Get the look for less with these from J. Crew.
09. Gauze pants from Alice Walk — the stuff of dreams. I just received these last weekend and they are officially my new favorite thing. You know how after being at the pool / beach, you have a shower and then you don’t want to get in pajamas but you also don’t want to wear a full on outfit? These pants are the answer. I paired mine with this striped tank from Sezane and felt so comfortable but pulled together. I shared a photo of myself wearing them here with the caption: “The best lounge pants known to woman.” But truly they are more than lounge — you could also dress up with a button-down or dress-down over a suit.
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My must-haves for summer —
01. Osea Marine Cleanser (10% off with MAGPIE10) — just totally obsessed with it, as is Mr. Magpie. A lone Magpie reader recommended it this past winter and I’m so glad I followed up on it! It’s light and refreshing with a pleasant salty citrus scent. You feel cleansed but not stripped dry. It’s also not as steep in price as some of the other cleansers I’ve used in the past, which appeals — I read somewhere that you should avoid splurging on cleansers since it spends so little time on your face (and instead invest in serums and moisturizers).
02. InnBeauty Extreme Cream — I’m new to this much-buzzed-about moisturizer, which has often been likened to Augustinus Bader, and I love it. I prefer this to A.B., as does Mr. Magpie (he’s started testing a lot of the cleansers / moisturizers I bring home). A great texture, quick absorbency, and instant plumping/hydrating result. Hooked. I’ve been focusing the past month or so on upping my skin hydration (both drinking more water and applying more moisturizers) after the aesthetician at my facial at Keswick Spa pointed out that my skin looked dehydrated, and that my wrinkles would be less noticeable if I used more moisturizer. I think she’s been right! Makeup also goes on much more easily.
03. BeYou Wrinkle Eraser Eye Cream. I completely finished my tube of this brand’s Caffeine Eye Cream a few weeks ago and went to re-up when I saw they’d released this new eye cream and decided to give it a try. Also excellent. I went back and got the caffeine version and alternate between them based on what I need. I’d been finding my eyes were really puffy in the morning this spring — I’m now realizing a combo of allergies and sleeplessness — and the caffeine formula REALLY WORKS WONDERS. For more general/everyday use (when I’m not puffy!) I really like the wrinkle eraser formula. I don’t think it erases anything, but skin does feel firmer and smoother after use. Plus, you can’t beat the prices!
04. Chantecaille Sheer Glow Bronze Face Tint. I’m nearly done with this pot (and it comes with a lot of product in it!) after daily use most of this summer. It’s THE best way to paint on a convincing tan. I love to apply with this brush. On super lowkey mornings (especially in Aspen), I’d put on SPF, swipe this on, and finish with mascara.
05. Byredo Blanche Hair Perfume. A total luxury splurge that I’m obsessed with. Maybe a strange fixation, but I hate the smell of “old hair,” as in when I’m going on day two or three without a shampoo? It’s not a bad smell, it’s just a…lived in smell? I also absolutely detest what Landon and I call “restaurant smell,” which we use specifically in situations where fry oil perfumes your entire body after a visit — it’s the worst on the hair. This handy little hair perfume changed the game for me. I spritz on most mornings and feel like a million bucks.
06. Charlotte Tilbury Makeup Setting Spray (still a Nordstrom sale deal — get two full sizes for less) — I was dubious of this product category until I tried Tilbury’s formula, which actually works and actually keeps makeup in place, even in peak midAtlantic humidity.
07. Osea Undaria Body Oil (10% off with MAGPIE10) — I use this in lieu of lotion. The smell is divine and it absorbs instantly, with no greasy finish. I’m on my second bottle. I love it so much I bought the travel size for Aspen, feeling I couldn’t go a week without it! Gives you great, touchable, glowy skin. Nordstrom is offering a great beauty bundle on this product right now as a part of its sale!
08. Vegamour’s Dry Shampoo (20% off with HELLO20). The absolute best — Emese Gormley turned me onto this product a few months ago and I’ve not looked back. An upgrade from Living Proof IMO.
09. Chantecaille Rosewater Spray (at time of writing, on slight sale at Bloomie’s) — love using this before applying moisturizer at night and to refresh or soften makeup after application. Several of Glamsquad’s makeup artists have come with their own rosewater sprays, insisting it’s the best at “softening” and “hydrating” after makeup application.
10. Dr. Diamond’s Metacine Plasma. Completely hooked on this. I noticed an immediate difference in the texture of my skin, and find it shrinks pores and evens out skintone. I use this after cleansing and before vitamin C and moisturizer in the morning, and after cleansing and before moisturizer in the evening. It’s pricey but now I’m pot-committed…have used daily for two months now!
11. Sonsie Multi-Hydrating Mask — Mr. Magpie doesn’t love the texture of this product (you have to work it into your skin / it’s thick) but I swear it truly works. I usually apply at night, especially on wrinkle areas, and wake up with soft and happy skin. From Pam Anderson’s new skincare line, which turned my head because it’s all about taking care of the skin you have vs. “rolling back the clock” / “getting rid of wrinkles” / etc.
12. YSE Your Favorite Ex Exfoliating Pads (15% off with JEN-15) — Hooked / in love / can’t stop using. I find I have to actively tell myself not to use this nightly because a) I don’t think I need that much exfoliation and b) I don’t want to run through my supply too quickly. But the squeaky clean, fresh, rejuvenated feeling is hard to beat.
13. Ilia Multi-Stick in Poppy Red. Another lowkey summer makeup favorite — swipe onto cheeks and lips and be on with it! I really, really like the formula. It’s longer lasting and more deeply pigmented than Merit, but glides/blends a bit more easily than Goop Color Blurs (and I love all three of these products!)
14. Iris & Romeo Weekend Skin. My only complaint is that I went through a tube in about a month flat! It really does create a dewy, balmy glow, just like you’ve slept in and are bathed in flattering sunlight. This product is interesting because it includes “stabilized, time-release vitamin-C” — normally vitamin C is fairly fickle (you need to apply to completely dry skin, it cannot be exposed to sunlight, etc). I find it works beautifully. I just wish the tube lasted longer! This is one of those great “throw it on and run out the door” products — it makes your natural skin just look a little happier / more glowy. I alternate between this and RMS Beauty’s SuperNatural Serum Sunscreen — they are similar but I use them differently (see next point).
15. RMS Beauty’s SuperNatural Serum Sunscreen — Like Weekend Skin, a great option if you don’t want to wear a lot of makeup / want to roll out of bed and slather on SPF that does a little extra. Both leave skin dewy and glowy. I find RMS is as an ideal primer, though, so if I want know I will later layer on concealer, blush, foundation, etc, I usually go with RMS Beauty. BTW, RMS Beauty is celebrating its 15 year anniversary with a different deal each day of this week!
16. Elemis Pro-Collagen Cleansing Balm. Use nightly to remove every last speck of makeup. I love the experience: you slather it on and remove with a warm washcloth. Very relaxing. Your skin looks like a glazed donut afterward.
P.S. Loved your thoughts / intel on how to handle skincare while traveling! Folded in a lot of your perspectives when I went to Aspen for eight days. For example, I bought the travel sizes of my ride or die favorites (many of you advocated this approach vs decanting because the brand’s know the perfect applicator for the product and offer them in convenient shrunken sizes). For shorter trips (1-2 nights), I LOVED one of your recs to use a contacts case to stow small amounts of serum! Brilliant!
P.P.P.S. Was so thrilled to see Barbara Kingsolver’s Demon Copperhead (my full and effusive review here) on the new NYT best books of the 21st century list! I’ve read a chunk of them but there were definitely some new discoveries (and some oversights — how is it possible Bel Canto made it onto the list, out of all of Patchett’s ouevre? Commonwealth instead IMO!). What were your thoughts?
By: Jen Shoop
“How did you sleep?”
A full tank of gas waiting for you in the car.
A post-it note reading: “Heat at 350 for 20-25 minutes.”
Your dad wandering around your backyard, tearing up weeds.
A text message replying: “YES!!!”
The door knob mysteriously fixed.
An email reading: “Saw this and thought of you.”
A string of heart emojis.
Your favorite flavor of yogurt stocked in your mother’s fridge.
“Tell me everything.”
****
A few weeks ago, my best friend and her husband were staying over, and as her husband came into the kitchen, I asked, near-reflexively: “How did you sleep?” He looked a little surprised, and then pleased, and said: “Oh! Great, thanks.” As soon as the question came out of my mouth, I realized I was parroting my mother. Asking how I’ve slept is one of my her favorite ways of saying “I love you” — more a gesture of affection than anything else. I want you to be rested and comfortable, is the subtext, and I care about how you feel.
U.A. Fanthorpe put it best: “There is a kind of love called maintenance // Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it.” Elsewhere, I’ve riffed on this sentiment when writing about Mr. Magpie: “I love the way you echo through my daily chores and counterspaces. Proof that love is a modest thing, never making a fuss about the furnishings. We’re just as likely to find it on the Duplo-strewn floor of the basement, tired parents with children crawling over us, as we are dressed to the nines sitting in a Paris cafe. Love is looking for us everywhere.”
What are some of the hidden ways people tell you they love you?
Post-Scripts.
+While visiting my sister in New York, she lamented (in her Nora Ephron manner), “No one ever makes me a salad. A salad is the ultimate gesture of love.” I knew what she meant. Sometimes love is a salad.
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+I think most of us missed out on this cute Longchamp bag that chic peas in Europe are wearing out and about while it was part of the N. Sale (still some great buys available!), but you can still get it for $100 here. Convert to a crossbody with this little kit.
+If you liked my RL flag sweater (seen here) but want something a little less expensive, you might consider this (20% off with YOUROCK) or this (under $50).
+A great wardrobe staple – dress up or down. Throw a striped sweater on over your shoulders, pair with trendy sandals, toss on over a swimsuit…! There’s also room for a navy dress (under $100) in your closet.
+Bogg sent me one of their amazing waterproof beach/pool bags — I’ve seen so many moms at my pool with them and am SO excited. Very cleverly designed, with a little waterproof zip pouch you can clip into the interior to stow wallet / keys / phone. There are all kinds of clever accessories you can plug into the little grommets — this phone holster; this divider. I’ve decided to use this instead of my Paravel, which isn’t meant to get wet on the outside (but is lined on the inside and has lots of handy pockets!). I usually just keep it on a pool chair to prevent it from getting wet, but the Bogg is more practical.
+Speaking of Paravel, though: they’re running a GREAT sale. The Cabana tote is included ($75 off!!!), but the most insane deal is on their set of suitcases (large and roll-a-board) in the domino color — $570 for both vs $950!!!) I own and love this suitcase set (in the scout tan color). Can’t rec enough if you’re in the market! 40% off! (Get these for your kids – currently $70! – and personalize with these initial stickers.)
+Julia Amory’s latest drop of Jane dresses in hot pink and kiwi green are so chic. Just add big earrings and either a heel or a dressy flat sandal and you’re looking like a million bucks. (15% off with JEN-15)
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I can’t tell if it’s the midsummer malaise (several of you pointed out last summer that the final week or two of July is the nadir of summer energy — camp fatigue, lack of motivation, intense heat!), post-vacation-of-a-lifetime blues, or just a run-of-the-mill mood, but I’ve felt bleh this week. Even trusting that everything is a flowing, I’ve been frustrated by my own alien listlessness.
Have you been feeling the same way, I wonder?
On Monday night, we watched Mother Nature unleash her fury in sheets of driving rain and gales of forceful wind. (I write that with a smirk: while birding in Aspen, our guide chastened us against foisting human narratives on the natural world after my SIL made a snarky comment about male ducks “loafing” after procreation.) It was a classic D.C. midsummer storm — the kind that never actually breaks the humidity, but rather angrily shuffles around the furniture before returning to its original, thickly hot state. The lights flickered, then went out for the rest of the night. We didn’t let the outage interrupt us: Mr. Magpie lit the stove by matchstick, we ate outside in the crepuscular post-storm light, and I read the children their bedtime stories by electric lantern. After, Mr. Magpie and I drank wine on the front stoop, talking nothing and everything into our unlit street. Photos throughout this post taken without any light the night of the storm!)
Even this reminder to unplug, to let be, did not fully perforate my haze —
I kept wanting to shake myself by the shoulders! To galvanize myself!
But I was reminded of Morgan Harper Nichols’ words:
“Let July be July. Let August be August. And let yourself
just be even in the uncertainty. You don’t have to fix everything.”
I couldn’t have written more nichely-specific words for my state of mind myself — !
I felt a coolness wash over me. Aha. You don’t have to fix everything.
I saw in the Monday storm my own reflection: a great movement of energy achieving no ending. No break in the heat, no pause in the mood.
So I tiptoed away from the loom, I shut the piano fallboard. I reminded myself to stop fishing by obstinate isles. Sometimes we need time to do nothing at all.
July feels ripe for it.
Post-Scripts: A Shopping Poem.
These cropped Nantucket red jeans have my attention; I can’t stop thinking about them. // La Ligne launched a collection of featherweight silk/cashmere blend knits for summer — the kind of thing you’ll buy and wonder how you got through life without before? This one’s a classic. // It “felt like” 110 degrees on Tuesday, and yet I found myself looking closely at these Toteme boots for fall. Hard to buy out of season but they are smart and polished and I know my future self will thank me. // Our favorite “lazy girl body care” brand, Hanni, just launched a new product: The Fatty, described as “lip balm for your skin.” A hydrating stick — lotion in a tube! I can’t wait to get my hands on one. A reminder, this splash salve (moisturizing balm you apply in the shower) is an Everything Shower essential for me. They offered us 15% off with JEN15. // 25% off sitewide at Mille. You need this dress. // I can’t stop blabbing about this linen tee (15% off with JEN15). I love her. Perfect level of burnout — semi-sheer and pretty sexy. Surprise yourself and try it — your husband will approve, especially layered over one of these. // Bought my son these Sambas with the red stripes – he’s going to flip out. We’re in our red era. // Speaking of my son, he’s wearing these adorable sailboat pajamas in the photo above, clinging to Mr. Magpie. He usually likes to sleep in his boxers, just like his dad, so this was a rare moment for him — and seeing him in that matching set reminded me of him in his toddler years. Matryoshka moment. // These earrings look way more expensive than they are. Going to order to try! They’re reminding me of the way Brent Neale sets her stones. (More classic jewelry for less here.)
By: Jen Shoop
The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+STYLING THE BASIC TEE: Another Ines Cuens style moment I could not get over! This is exactly how I want to look right now. This snap led me to wear my linen tee (similar to the one she’s wearing) twice this week, once over a swimsuit with my red shorts and once with my white eyelet maxi skirt (still a handful left, and on sale!). I also ordered my favorite t-shirt in gray (already own in white and black). I’m telling you, these shirts are IT. Perfect weight, polish, length. The best. 15% off with JEN15.
On the skirt front: she’s wearing European brand Zottier (style now sold out), but similar here. Also still have my eye on this more tailored / streamlined Byrdie (you can remove the train).
+A LAUGH: Do you follow Liam Stapleton on Instagram? Some of his impressions (Harry Potter, Borat) made Mr. Magpie and I laugh so hard we had to pause — especially set against his wife’s obvious “over it” eye rolls.
+FERAL MOM SUMMER: Thanks to a Magpie reader for sending this amazing musing on embracing the chaos of summer with young kids. I related to so much of her described experience — the tangle of sandals at the door, the caked-on sunscreen, the repeated meals of hot dogs and buttered pasta! It’s OK, friends. Lean into it. We’ll get back to discipline in September.
+PASTA SALAD SUMMER: I saw this recipe from Caroline Chambers and my mouth was watering. This is not the kind of food my husband typically enjoys but I am going to be preparing it for some girlfriends this weekend as a part of a little girls’ night at home. (Will supplement with delivery pizza and rose!)
+EYEING + BUYING + WEARING: A shortlist of some of my favorite recent buys and finds: 1) Been wearing this hat constantly — offers such great sun protection and very on-trend. The look for less is back in stock! 2) My sister brought this hilarious game to Aspen and we were crying with laughter by round three. Sort of a twist on charades? Very funny. I bought as a gift for Mr. Magpie’s aunt and cousins, who we’ll be seeing at Deep Creek Lake in a few weeks — they love games! 3) Currently testing this mousse for a little volume. 4) My fun new cherry clip (inspired by Emi Jay’s). 5) Green pants – love this color! I’ve ordered several pairs of statement pants — these, these, these — for summer over the past few weeks, but these are fun and very affordable. I’d pair with a denim button-down. 6) For my burgeoning birding hobby. 7) I did order this Bottega-inspired bag! 8) My current favorite lip/cheek color. 9) I just ordered these Adidas sneakers — the colors sang to me! 10) Viral jellies, restocked!
+AN UNDER THE RADAR BEAUTY BRAND: If your lashes are looking a little sparse — you must consider this Queen Musia growth serum mascara. I’d never messed around with any of the lash-growing mascaras before but this one is clean and features plant-based ingredients. Most importantly, it really works. I’ve used on and off over the past six months when I feel I need a little extra volume / fullness. Has a natural look as a daily mascara. I also absolutely love their lipstick in the Madame Bovary color! One of my summer go-tos. Really pretty.
