The Man Repeller Debacle + 10 Obsessions Du Jour.

I think this will be my last post about Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement (already shared some thoughts on it, sorrrryyyyy), but I was fascinated by this op-ed piece by Leandra Medine of the blog Man Repeller in reaction to it.  And even more fascinated by her subsequent apology/update in response to the many comments (ranging from thoughtful to bitter) that she received on it.  The entire discourse struck a chord with me because, as you may have gathered when I shared the news that I was expecting #minimagpie, I hemmed and hawed over whether to share that news, and what to say about it, for fear of inadvertently hurting the many women out there who have struggled to get or remain pregnant, or who have suffered through related traumas and tragedies.  I have far too many dear friends in that camp–too many friends I have cried alongside, prayed for, and grieved with.

And so, I have reacted viscerally to many-a-blog with overly cutesy, frou-frou, life-is-peaches-and-cream pregnancy announcements or, potentially worse yet, posts whining about the travails of pregnancy (there are so many woman who would die to be in your–well, our–shoes!), which in turn makes me feel regretful of the potentially ungrateful tone I used when talking about the discomforts and anxieties of pregnancy.  Hopefully, I redeemed myself in some measure by shoring up with reality when I wrote about that 20-year-old cashier at Target last week.  Still, reflecting on some of my posts and comments in this light will hopefully make me all the more sensitive in forthcoming ones because — trust me when I say this — I have not taken a single minute of this pregnancy for granted.

And yet.  I also recognize that my frustration with these posts is entirely unfair: women deserve the space to share their own experiences, in whatever shades of emotion they may be colored, and there’s something grossly “shame-ifying” about rolling my eyes in reaction to “yet another saccharine gender reveal” (for the record: I’ve seen many of these done very sweetly, but on my darker days…).  I need to make room for those experiences, to be respectful of them.

And yet.  It must be said: there can be something cloying and smug about a particular type of announcement that suggests a total lack of sensitivity to those that may be living through alternative experiences.  You know the type.  In a similar vein, a dear friend of mine who was struggling to get pregnant told me that a resident at her OBGYN office turned to her while she was undergoing a procedure or check-up related to her pregnancy journey and said: “In a way, I envy you.  I can’t help myself from getting pregnant.  I barely try and it happens.”  Of all the cold and insensitive things to say…

So I was riveted by Leandra’s reaction, and then the commentary on her reaction, and then her subsequent retraction when it came to Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement.  (BTW, it should be noted that Beyonce had a miscarriage she spoke openly about in her biopic, which may or may not shift/change your opinion on her loud–garish?–announcement.)  One thing that many of Leandra’s smart readers pointed out was just how insular the post made her seem: here she was, railing against Beyonce for sharing something that she was struggling to attain herself, when Leandra regularly posts about her extremely expensive wardrobe and flashy lifestyle, which, for most of us, is similarly unattainable.

But, you know what?  After reflecting on the Beyonce-Leandra-Magpie vortex, I realized something: sometimes this do-no-harm logic collapses on itself.  Because at the end of the day, we can’t walk around on eggshells, withholding our own experiences and opinions for fear of rocking the boat.  I certainly don’t want to live in that universe.  If anything, I want to raise #minimagpie to make her voice heard.  The best I can do is work to be honest, keep my ego in check, and keep an empathetic eye on the reactions of those around me.

What do you think?

Am I in my head too much?  I’m imagining some of you clicking over to Magpie in search of some light and breezy shopping discoveries and feeling sucker-punched by some of these musings.  And for that reason, I will now promptly offer up some very lovely things I’ve curated for you today.  (But also, do share your thoughts, big and small, on my notes above…)

As you may have gathered, I’m sorta obsessed with all things personalizable.  I stumbled upon these stunning straw bags on Instagram from little indie line By Tatoufa, and d.i.e.d.  How impossibly chic?!  I love that these are the handiwork of a mother-daughter team; all of the letters are knit by hand and stitched onto high-quality straw bags woven by an artisan in Tunisia.  I connected with the lovely ladies behind these totes, and she said they charge a base of $115, followed by $20/letter.  To order, you can email madebytatoufa@gmail.com.

the fashion magpie by tatoufa personalized straw basket bags

the fashion magpie by tatoufa personalized straw basket bags 2

the fashion magpie by tatoufa personalized straw basket bags 3

In my perpetual quest for organization (which has only intensified during this nesting period), I found these cheery little desk organizers from the brand Poppin for a couple of drawers in our kitchen.  We had this epic junk drawer that Mr. Magpie affectionately called “the place where coupons go to die” (I must have kept 4238 coupons in there and promptly forgotten about them).  I cleaned it out and reorganized pens, clips, miscellaneous cords, coupons, etc. with a few bits + bobs trays ($5-6 depending on color) and one of these desk trays ($10).  I love the colors, especially the Hermes orange and juicy lime green–and have my eye on this desktop set ($61) and this one, too ($44).

the fashion magpie bits and bobs tray poppin the fashion magpie poppin bits and bobs tray the fashion magpie poppin tray

 

Winter is kinda winding down-ish {she says hopefully, knowing that it was full on winter until May last year}, but I’m sure we’ll have a few more snows and–besides–the end of a season can be the best time to score a good deal, like these Sperry snowboots, on sale for $97.  I LOVE them in the fresh white color.  They’d look great with my winter coat.

The Fashion Magpie Sperry snow boot The Fashion Magpie Sperry snow boot 2

Shifting seasons entirely, I’m very much enjoying the ric rac accenting on many of the pieces in Lisa Marie Ferndandez’s latest beachwear collection — especially on this maxi dress ($995), which I’d like to wear immed. to a tropical vacation somewhere.  Designer Anna October must have taken similar inspiration, because ric rac is also all over her latest collection.  I’m especially digging this voluminous OTS top ($540).  This top by Banjanan (on sale for $147) achieves the look for less.  This gleeful Dodo Bar Or lovely ($328) also nails the vibe.

The Fashion Magpie Lisa Marie Fernandez ric rac dress

 

I love the heavily pigmented, but moisturizing formula of this Laura Mercier velour lipstick ($28).  A bold lip color can really turn your day around.

The Fashion Magpie Laura Mercier Velour Lipstick 2 The Fashion Magpie Laura Mercier Velour Lipstick 2 The Fashion Magpie Laura Mercier Velour Lipstick 2

 

It started with their striped tees ($128), but now I’m thinking I might also need Comme Des Garcons’ heart-embellished converse sneaks ($125).  I’ve been such a devotee of my Supergas, but these may have to become my alternate!

the fashion magpie comme des garcons converse sneakers the fashion magpie comme des garcons converse

Speaking of hearts, I am heart eyes over these heart-adorned burlap pillows ($36) from Etsy store Bouteille Chic.  (And how appropriate, it being Valentine’s Day and all!)

the fashion magpie heart pillow 2 the fashion magpie heart pillow 3

 

How beyond are these monogrammed linen jewelry cases ($20 — cannot believe the price!!!) from Etsy store SEmbroidered Boutique?!  Such a fantastic gift for a bride-to-be or a good girlfriend.

the fashion magpie monogrammed linen jewelry roll 2 the fashion magpie monogrammed linen jewelry roll

I am seriously swooning over new-to-me-line La Double J.  Such fun prints and in all of my favorite shapes.  My fav is this lemon-print OTS number ($635), but I also love it in this fun print.  And this little nipped waist style ($495) is precious, too.

the fashion magpie la double j dress the fashion magpie la double j dress

Um, these woven bags from Heimat Atlantica ($280) are everything.  They nail the retro Grace Kelly shape but in such a fresh application of color…and the STRAW!

the fashion magpie heimat atlantica bag

A few other finds I have to share:

+This affordable lace up stripe blouse ($66) nails the shirting stripe trend I’ve been ogling over.

+Similarly, this striped Anthro maxi ($198) is giving me all the feels.

+Guess I’m ready for warmer weather (HA, see the majority of the picks above) — this beach pouch ($35) seems ideal for a day at the pool.  Love that the interior is laminated, so you could store your swimsuit in it.  And I’d like to wear this pastel, retro-chic suit, BTW.

+I think I need this regal little guy to sit by my fireplace ($112).

+This little crossbody in the peony pink color ($128) is too good.

+FINALLY, my favorite new discovery for spring: this peony print, collared dress ($98)!!!  I LOVE IT.  During these months of transition, I’m envisioning wearing it with my Aquazzura lace-up flats or my new Sam Edelman lace-up flats.

 

4 Comments

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  1. 1
    nicole

    You know, there are times I feel so much jealousy for bloggers because of their seemingly glamorous lifestyle, but there are times that I am happy that I am able to just keep my opinion to myself. There is such a fine line of keeping your audience entertained and alienating them, and it appears that Leandra’s original post had unfortunately done the latter. What you said about what her readers pointing out about her post was ever-so telling, about how the attainment of her own lifestyle makes her seem like such a contradiction. If she hadn’t thought about it before, she definitely will never forget that lesson, I’m sure.

    I honestly hadn’t given much thought to Beyonce’s announcement. If that is the way she wanted to share her news, who am I to comment on something that I have never experienced or have any relation to. I might have taken the image differently if I was having a similar (or a difficult) experience in my life with pregnancy, but coming from someone who has not yet decided if I’m even having children, I honestly didn’t think much of it. I can see how it would affect some, but I think it’s really important to always feel joy for others even when the same does not apply in my life. An envious heart is toxic, and can certainly affect all other aspects of your life.

    • 2
      thefashionmagpie

      Such a thoughtful response, Nicole. I completely agree — envy can totally eat someone alive! My personal goal is to make more space for other people to just live their lives however they wish, and be happy for them from afar. Have you read Amy Poehler’s memoir? She has a good mantra in there: “Good for you, not for me.” The idea being: more power to you for doing your own thang; it may not be the right “thang” for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s less than. Anyhoots, thanks for chiming in!! xx

      • 3
        nicole

        It’s funny, I actually have her book, but haven’t had a chance to read it yet! I think I will have to make some time and read it soon, thanks again for sharing!

        • 4
          thefashionmagpie

          Let me know what you think of it, Nicole! I didn’t like it as much as the memoirs from Tina Fey or Mindy Kaling, but that one element stood out for me. xx

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